Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

 

Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Prior to our relationship, he had been in a committed relationship for basically all of his adult life, whereas I have been in numerous shorter-term relationships. He tells me ex was not adventurous in bed – basically only missionary sex, literally nothing else. I’m much more open minded and experienced with other types of sex and enjoy some kinkier things. However, I’ve never pushed any of this on him because he never seemed comfortable with it (for example, early on in the relationship, I pulled his hair during sex and he told me after not to be so rough) and I’m otherwise very happy with our sex life.

My man caught a nice buzz one night recently and a whole new side of him emerged. He threw me around, held me down, choked me – generally played the dominator role and I was REALLY into it. I came super fast. In this adventure, he discovered that he’s really into forcing me to deep throat him and making me gag on his dick – he had me do it for quite some time that night, and I didn’t mind it given how thrilling and sexy the whole evening was.

After all was said and done, we were both super happy that night. It honestly felt like we were brought closer together in this experience because he was finally comfortable enough with me/himself to explore a new side to sex. It was awesome.

However… since then, all he wants to do is throat fuck me. Every time we’ve had sex since, he’s forced me to do it. I’ve played along so far because I don’t want to discourage him, but I really don’t enjoy having this done to me all of the time. I told him the night that it first happened that it’s something I don’t mind mixing into our sexual routines as long as we still do some of the other things we like as well – but he was still pretty drunk at that point, so maybe he doesn’t recall that caveat. I don’t know.

My question – when do I say something again? I feel like I should just play the supportive girlfriend role for a little while so he can keep building his confidence up, but I literally couldn’t even get wet last night because choking on his dick was something I was just NOT in the mood for, but it happened.

I would hate to see my boyfriend lose this newfound confidence because I handle this poorly.

Venice’s response to throat fuck

Great question, easy answer.  Tell him, in a non sexual setting, that you are not interested in getting your tonsils beat up and stabbed each time you guys have sex.  Let him know that although you love it, doing it each time takes away the thrill.  Much like how he didn’t like missionary sex each time in his previous relationship, you don’t like being throat fucked each time.  It becomes less sexy and spontaneous, and more of a routine.   You don’t want your sex to become a routine.  This shouldn’t be that hard to understand, especially since you are using an analogy that compares to how he felt about missionary sex.

Trust me on this, when your boyfriend was 16, missionary sex, or even thinking about missionary sex, wasn’t boring.  Sex isn’t boring.  A routine is.   Do not make your sexual positions a routine.  

Good luck!

Ryan’s response to throat fuck

I really doubt your boyfriend will lose his confidence because you don’t want to be throat fucked every time you have sex.   Just let him know that it is sexy to change things up.  One day it should be soft and sensual.  The next day it should be quick and easy.  The next day it could be throat fucking until you vomit all over his lap and finishing him with a hand job that uses your vomit as lube.  

Q&A: Have you ever vomited due to deepthroating?

Have you ever vomited due to deepthroating? Sucking dick.

I’ve never been able to deep throat very well but obviously that’s something that guys like and something I’d like to be able to do. I live with my long term bf and with both of us being on antidepressants, our sex drives are quite calm. That being said, when we do get intimate I want it to be great for him. Anyways, I decided to push myself for the deep throat during foreplay. I gagged but nothing happened so I kept going. Then I felt it start to come up. I could tell he was enjoying himself so I tried to swallow/push it back down but NOPE! Soon inside my mouth was an erect dick surrounded by vomit (I’m so sorry, I know this is gross). I pulled my mouth off and rushed to the bathroom and he followed me. I went straight for the toilet and he leans over the shower and does the same thing… Blow job turned into puke fest. I was horrified. I ran back into the room to change the sheets while he cleaned off. I buried myself under the covers in embarrassment. He came back in the room and laid down and we didn’t say a word to each other.

Has anyone else ever vomited due to deepthroating? Questions about Sucking dick.

Venice’s response to vomit while sucking dick

Yes.  The first time this happened for me was with Ryan was on top of me face fucking me. We were a  bit tipsy.  Although I do not have much of a gag reflex, the combination of alcohol and his penis being shoved down in my throat, caused me to puke.  He pulled out and it went all over my face and the bed. Unlike you, rather than running to the bathroom, he held me down and shoved his dick back in my mouth.  I felt his crouch and balls slapping against my face with my own puke.  It didn’t take long for him to cum after this because the idea got him extra excited and aggressive.  He pulled out and came all over my face and puke.

Because of that experience, for years, Ryan would hold my head down, try to make me gag, and say to me while sucking his dick, “puke on it and I will stroke myself in it until I cum.” I just could never puke. Well last week we were both persistent and decided we weren’t stopping until he had vomit on him. He held my head down until I had no choice but to gag.  The intense gagging causes tears to run down my face, which only excited Ryan more.  I was persistent and really had to force myself to puke.  The cool thing was, once it started, it doesn’t stop. The other cool thing was, it was more like clear slick frothy puke, not like beef stew or anything. I drank a lot of water prior.  Either way, I did puke and watched him stroked himself in it.  After I puked once, I knew I would keep puking if he tried to force my head down onto his dick.  The smell, the idea of sucking on my own puke, and my gag reflex being totally activated.  Ryan didn’t care. Although we role play a lot and we have our safety word, I actually was a bit scared and said “I can’t do this any more.”  Not my safety word, but I remember feeling scared of the puking feeling.  The look in my eyes only turned him on more and he grabbed my head and shoved me all the way down on him again.  I didn’t really fight, so he used my hair to pull me up and down on his dick. I instantly puked again.  I would try to pull away, put he’d force me to puke in his lap then immediately shove me back down on his dick, controlling my movements by holding on to my hair.  I kept puking all over his lap. Every now and then I would force myself away, crying.  The tears are a natural reaction to puking, so I couldn’t help it.  He would look at me stroking his dick in my fluids.  He let go of himself and asked me to stroke his dick for him.  So I started stroking him with two hands while he leaned back focusing on trying to cum.  His dick and balls felt so wet, almost like trying to hold a large fish.  As I saw his body tense up, I knew he was going to cum.  He grabbed my head one last time and shoved me all the way down on his dick.  My mouth was against his hairy wet crotch.  I could feel his dick twitching in my throat and I knew no matter what I couldn’t come up until he was done.  I was slightly gagging, and each time the air in my throat was able to squeeze around his dick  and out of my mouth, I watched the vomit in his lap bubble from my breath.  He finally let go of my head and I was able to come up off his dick.  He looked at me and told me to swallow.  I already had.  

Although your experience was horrible for you, it is on some couples bucket lists. It’s not the end of the world, and the truth is, that moment will be on both of your minds forever. You can make it an embarrassing thing, or embrace the idea that you care so much for your boyfriend that you’d do anything for him, including throwing up on his dick because you wanted it down your throat. Its equivalent to a man looking at your ass and saying “I’d like to sniff her ass and be her panties for a day.” Yea, that would be gross right? Being our panties for a day?  Well, seeing his dick and saying, “I want to suck that dick until it makes me puke.” You must really admire him and his dick.  

Ryan’s response to vomit while sucking dick

Congratulations.  Sex is scary, dirty, and gross if you focus on what is actually happening.  The fluids, the squirting, the saliva, the sweat, the cum, sometimes the blood, and yes, even vomit.  Two people exploring everything their bodies can do to one another is an amazing feeling.  On another note, I do remember Venice learning how to deep throat.  There were multiple sessions where she would try, eyes would water, and she would get “sensitive’ and gag non stop.  The more she tried in that session, the easier she would gag and nearly vomit.  We’d stop and try the next day.  You sound like an amazing woman that is willing to push yourself to learn to control your gag reflex.  Puking happens, don’t let that stop you from learning to please your man better than any woman would ever be able to.  Being on the receiving end of a deep throat, is one of the greatest feelings on earth.

Deepthroating: My Introduction

 
Deepthroat

Yummy banana.

What is deepthroating?
My definition of “Deepthroating” is taking a dick past the soft palate in your mouth and sliding it down into your throat.

 

My First (Real) Deepthroat
 The first time I heard about deepthroating was from a girlfriend of mine in high school. Not only did I hear about it, but they shared a video of her performing the act.  I can remember thinking that her boyfriend’s penis was small, but they both seemed happy.  And I admit, to my young eyes her technique was amazing.  She could take his penis and put it all in her mouth, and then lick his balls (see article: “Oral Techniques“). Although she bragged about her deepthroat prowess, in my mind I called it “deep mouthing.”  By the looks of it, I doubt his penis was even hitting the back of her mouth.  When I met my husband, Ryan, I guess I was a bit cocky. Maybe I was competitive with my girlfriends but that old video stuck in my mind and I knew I could do it better than my friend.  I was going to take all of him easy, I didn’t care he was 6’4 and I was just a little Filipino girl.   And then I realized, all men aren’t built the same.  I tried to take Ryan’s longer, fatter dick deep in my throat, and almost gagged immediately. His head hit my soft palate and my lips were only at the edge of his circumcision scar, which was not even a third of the way down. Ryan would grind his hips into my mouth, but his dick would just bend and I would eventually gag and switch to only sucking and kissing on the tip of his penis. Although at the time I didn’t realize I wasn’t deepthroating him (it felt deep), I just figured I was deepthroating as much as I could. If Ryan asked me to deepthroat, I would stick his dick back as far as I could in my mouth and press it hard against the back of my tongue and soft palate. The pressure from my tongue (coupled with my panic of choking/gagging) kept my throat closed and his dick from going down any further. I wasn’t doing it on purpose; it was an instinct to keep me from feeling like I was going to choke. After I’d press for a few seconds, I would gag and Ryan would give me positive reinforcement by saying, “Good girl.” I was naïve to believe that deepthroating just meant putting as much of the dick in your mouth as possible, but my husband was happy I was at least trying and I just felt his penis was too big.

 

What is a true deepthroat?
You have the hard palate and the soft palate.  It takes a little bit of coaxing to get your man’s dick past the soft palate because you’re not used to having something so big and wide in your throat.  You have to remind yourself that you will not choke on it; you can lift up or pull away if you “feel” you are in danger.  Additionally, if the dick is really in your throat you will NOT be able to breathe.  If you can breathe, you’re doing it wrong.  A true deepthroat will cover your entire throat and prevent air from going in or out.  I was intimidated at first because my husband’s dick circumference is nearly 6” around and during the first few days of learning, it was like a bee stung me in my neck and my throat was closing up.

When my husband asked if I was willing to learn how to really deepthroat, I was down for the challenge.  And yes, there was a lot of watery eyes, coughing, and gagging at first, but only because I didn’t know the proper techniques or that there were even techniques to learn.  I thought it was as simple as swallowing or eating.  But it truly is an art.  I tried to look it up online, but I didn’t get too much help.  I knew then I was going to have to learn by hands-on experiences.  Quitting was not an option.

Continued: My Experience Learning To Deepthroat

2012

Face Fucking

Face fucking is just like how it sounds: a man is fucking your mouth.  My husband and I discovered this position as we were finding new ways to deepthroat (see article “Deepthroating: My Introduction”).  Face fucking has become one of my favorite positions and sometimes I prefer it to vaginal sex because of how much I love doing this.  This position gets me the wettest, the most turned on, and nothing we do ever compares to how wet my pussy gets from taking his cock in my throat.

I start on my back, lying on the bed, no pillows.  My husband  gets on top of me like we’re 69ing.  He licks my clit and I stroke his dick for a minute or two.  Then I take his soft  dick into my mouth and swish it back and forth, like I’m gargling mouthwash, until I feel it begin to grow.  When he is about 60% hard, I take a deep breath and I grab his ass cheeks and pull him down onto my face.  He then proceeds to grind his cock down my throat.   This feels like I have a second pussy getting fucked with a fat dildo.  After about 35-45 seconds he pulls his dick out and I gasp for air. I rest for about 15 seconds before pulling him back down for more.  I “talk” (aug aug aug aug aug)  and it sounds like I’m gagging each time he dips his cock into my mouth.

Round 2:  I lick the corners of my mouth as my husband’s dick is getting thicker between my jaws.  If I don’t, his shaft will burn my lips.  I trace my fingers down his crack and fondle his loose balls.  They’re warm and they hang low, hitting my face with every pumping action.  His ball skin is smooth and I suck on them while stroking his dick before he begins again.  My husband moans as he feels my warm mouth around both his balls.  I signal that I’m ready to go again by pulling him down to me.  I open my mouth wide and since it’s slowly getting harder, I tilt my head back to make way for a growing cock.  I take a deep breath.  He’s thick and can easily find its way straight down my throat.  He buries his face in my pussy and wraps his arms around my legs like he’s climbing a tree. His slimy wet cock makes smacking sounds each time he pulls up.  Time.

I inhale again, catching my breath and regenerating for the next cycle.  My husband talks dirty tells me how good my throat feels like a second pussy that doesn’t bottom out.

Round 3: Once again I pull my husband down into my mouth, eager to feel him face fuck me.  He’s about 80% hard now.  His balls are scrunching up and I see goose bumps forming on his ass cheeks.  We do this at least 3-4 times a week so I know this is what it looks like between his legs when he’s ready to cum.  He can’t even see this himself.  All he knows is that he wants to cum so bad.  His balls are ready to push his cum up through his dick and into my mouth.  I can’t wait for it to gush out, to taste his cum on my tongue and on my lips, to slurp up every delicious drop.  He keeps darting his hips hard onto my face like a piston.  But I’m out of breath.

He lifts up just in time as if he knew this was the right moment to do it.  I suck on his balls again.  I point his dick down towards his face and jack him off, his skin sliding around his hard cock.  He moans louder, not giving his cock a break.  I turn it back to my mouth and he waits for a hint that I’m ready.

Round 4:  My husband drops his dick down and I am more than eager to gulp him down.  I pull him as far down as he can go and his balls, now tight, his nuts pulled deep into his crotch, have stopped slapping me on the face.  I rub my clit in small little circles as my entire body bounces under his weight.  He fucks my mouth so hard, but I’ve learned to face fucking so well, how to angle my head at every stage of hardness, that I beg (loud gargled moans) for him to keep ramming his cock down my throat.  He wants to stop because he is afraid he’s hurting me.  He pulls out for a second and I tell him not to stop, to keep going until he cums.  I immediately slam his hips back into my face.  I take other hand and feel my pussy dripping with my own froth.  It’s gotten on the sheets, a wet spot forming under both my ass cheeks.  My moans are muffled each time his dick blocks my throat.  His dick is rock hard now, his hot cum is ready to shoot out.  But I hold him down, his tight balls on my nostrils, the tip of his 9 inch dick head settled at the deep end of my throat.  His nutsack twitches on my face as his cum shoots into my throat.  Seven shots, eight shots, nine shots…his dick keeps cumming and I don’t have to swallow one drop as it goes straight to my stomach like a feeding tube.

With my eyes watering I have now been holding my breath for well over a minute, moving my throat muscles around his twitching penis to make sure all his cum makes it into my stomach.  He pulls his dick out with cum still dripping from his head.   I hungrily suck his gland clean as it exits my mouth, before finally gagging for air one last time.