Threesome Memoirs: Pat the Squirter

Threesome Memoirs: Table of Contents

pat the squirterI will be totally honest with you, I have no idea if this next prospect was a man or woman.   For future references, I will just call it, Pat the Squirter.

Now, me calling Pat the Squirter a prospect is extremely misleading.  It was never a prospect.  It was actually one of the first persons I communicated with about the possibility of a threesome, and it never went beyond talking through a website, email messages, and yahoo messenger.  I met this person, supposedly a single woman, on the swinging website I have mentioned multiple times in the past,  Since it’s against that website’s TOS (Terms Of Service) to talk about different members of that website openly, I will not mention any real specifics.

Pat the Squirter was interesting indeed.  She originally contacted me with pictures attached of her (or someone’s) vagina spread wide open and the sheets soaking wet.  Within her first or second sentence of introducing herself, she asked, “You aren’t turned off by women who squirt right?  Because I squirt all over.  I can’t control it.”

She went on to talk about all the different locations she liked to meet up with couples in our city and all her favorite hotels.  She’d talk about certain hotels where she had probably squirted on every comforter blanket in each room (Hampton Inn — stay away).  She was proud of that.   With each picture she sent she got nastier and more graphic.  The bodies of the women seemed a bit different with every picture set, but I just assumed she was getting older or some of the pictures were from years ago.  I also assumed, some women in this lifestyle live in their past or have pictures they love from years ago.  Eventually she asked for some of my pictures and I replied,  “I will need to call you for phone verification first.”

She then went into multiple reasons why should could never text or talk on the phone.  Reason 1: She was in the process of a messy divorce and she would lose everything if she had random numbers on her phone records.  Reason 2: She was from a rich family that is very known in the city we are from, and if word got out her family would disown her.  She needed to make sure we didn’t know each other in real life before she spoke on the phone with me.  Reason 3: She has moved out of her home and the lady she cares for monitors her very closely and gets annoyed by phone calls of any kind. Reason 4: She no longer has a phone and was going to pick up a cheap one when she got a chance.

Now, what exactly could she do?  Well, apparently she could be on yahoo messenger and email 24 hours a day because once I gave out my information, she wouldn’t leave me alone.  She claims she was being  monitored closely, but she could sit at her computer all day and nothing could be traced (yea right).  Truthfully, I set up my first yahoo messenger account just to talk with Pat the Squirter, because that is what she insisted on.  I had one friend on yahoo messenger, her.  After a few weeks of talking on y! messenger and hearing each of the different reasons why she couldn’t phone verify, I got tired of dealing with her.  Unfortunately, she didn’t get tired of me.

She’s probably the first person I had to literally email block.  Why?  Because she was completely bat shit crazy and would not stop sending me messages.  After I blocked her emails and y! messages, maybe a month or so later, I got a random message on yahoo from “hungandhandsom384039”, or some weird variation.  Like with Pat the Squirter, this person would message me over and over for days, with no response.  I had my notifications turned off, so when I finally did see all the missed messages, it didn’t take much for me to figure out the only other person on earth with my  yahoo messenger name was, Pat the Squirter.  Therefore, one could conclude that this new person, with a man’s name, was Pat.  Did I ever ask?  No.  I blocked the other name as well and uninstalled yahoo messenger.

I eventually got to know a few other couples and singles off the same swinging website, and low and behold, each of them had the same exact story.  Of course, Pat’s name changed per which personality she decided she was going to be, her story changed, her city changed, but the fact she was a squirter was pretty consistent.  Her not talking to any of them on the phone was pretty consistent too.  If I would bring up her account name to a few new friends, the first thing I would hear was, “Oh my god, don’t talk with her, she is crazy as hell.”

Was Pat the Squirter totally down to have a threesome?  Yes.  Was she totally down to do everything we wanted within our limits?  Sure!  Although she did tell me at one point, “All women say they want their men to have a limited role but as soon as I am ass up and naked in the hotel room, most women end up watching their husbands plow into me with their hard cocks, fuck me like a rabbit, and bury their balls in me as they try to cum as deep in my stomach as they can.”

I laughed, I blocked, and I learned one of my first lessons in opening up my bedroom to a possible stranger. Phone verification, phone verification, phone verification.

Pat, Bella (Bill), Carla (Carl), Donna (Don), whatever your name is…  get help.

Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts

Female Orgasms:  Myths and Facts by The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada (SOGC) with extra commentary from Ryan and Venice Bloggs of


female orgasm

The myths and facts of the female orgasm.


Definition: Anorgasmia (no female orgasm)  is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 10% of women. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).

 Some Myths Regarding Female Orgasms

There are several myths regarding female orgasms. These myths can sometimes cause problems for women and their partners.

Myth: An orgasm is always an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.
Fact: Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm.  Some women may feel their bodies spasm and their muscles contract, but not have the earth-moving intensity of other orgasms.   By contrast, some women that do get very aroused and do not experience an orgasm will sometimes feel “nervous” or “edgy” or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.
Venice Bloggs: I believe there is so much more to an orgasm than the physical sensation felt between a woman’s legs. When we first got married Ryan would fuck me hard when I was laying on my stomach. For some reason, I would get a twitching feeling in my cervix area every time he was done, and ONLY when he was done. I had no idea what this was, but I came to believe it was like the after-sensation you get when you someone hits your arm really hard and your muscles would contract for a moment. I thought the same thing happened in your vagina. I never gave it a second thought. Sometimes I would lay there after sex, numb and unable to move.  I’d feel this sensation  deep in my vagina, and just rub my sore pussy until I felt the energy to snap out of it.  Only in the past year or so did I realize that this was a non-clitoral orgasm. Ryan would ask if I wanted to cum after sex, to which I would respond, “No, thanks. When you cum I feel like it’s my cum, too” as in I felt as if I had already orgasmed. What I soon realized was I was achieving an orgasm in a way I wasn’t used. I didn’t understand my body completely yet.  I didn’t realize my body had different levels of orgasms and sensations.  I have even squirted before from this hard deep sex, but because my physical reaction wasn’t as intense as a pure clitoris orgasm, I figured it “just felt good.”   I was used to getting an orgasm through oral sex or by using a hand or toy during sex.  These orgasms are extremely intense.  The orgasms I get through pure intercourse were less intense, but still give me a sense of fulfillment; enough so that I don’t feel the need to grab my toy or have Ryan’s mouth between my thighs afterwards.
Ryan Bloggs:  I’m a man, so obviously my thoughts on these myths/facts  are just my own experiences and opinions.  I understand this concept above  because I myself have different types of orgasms.  When getting oral sex, I almost have to force and overly fantacize to reach an orgasm.  When I do get to the point of orgasm, I do not feel drained or tired.  The orgasm was physical but because I do not want Venice to work too hard orally, the orgasm is more for her than me.  Yes, I ejaculate, but it is very much different from an orgasm I try to hold and keep from happening.  When masturbating, I also do not end up exhausted and slumped over in my chair.  Although I do not have to force the orgasm, it doesn’t completely drain me or give me an “O” face.   However, with a sex orgasm, the one I do not want to happen, as I release, I lose every muscle in my body.  I almost feel in pain.  My body almost always drops uncontrollable on Venice and my body is completely satisfied.   However, I have had orgasms with intercourse that vary.  Sometimes I can keep going after I orgasm because I am not drained at all, I become multi-orgasmic.  Sometimes I can’t even move afterwards and become a slug.

Myth: “Normal” women reach orgasm through intercourse.
Fact: Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. In the past, people thought that “mature” women had their orgasms with intercourse; you will sometimes run across an older book that has this view. However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.
Venice Bloggs: Normal women can’t deepthroat, normal women don’t love anal sex, normal women do not want to have sex with their husband’s two times a day. In other words, who cares what normal women do. Now that I’ve ranted, I will say that I was the unfortunate 1/3rd as a young woman and I had this same belief. I thought that something was wrong with me because I could masturbate or orgasm through oral sex, but not  penetration.  I didn’t feel “normal.”  I had no idea there was a difference between orgasms brought on by clitoral stimulation and those brought on by penetration. It’s unfair to say how a “normal” woman can achieve an orgasm. There are women out there who orgasm by purely thinking about it. Does that mean they are abnormal? Of course not. Each woman has their own becoming in tuned with her body. After I met Ryan, we quickly learned to have intercourse and orgasm together, simply by using our hands to rub my clit while he fucked me. Now, as a more mature woman who is definitely more in touch with what I feel, I am all of the above (see also:  All Kinds of Orgasms Last Night). Sexual maturity means I’m more experienced as a lover, I am more educated as a giver and a receiver, and I am more receptive to the different methods females can enjoy sex, with or without the possibility of achieving an orgasm.
Ryan Bloggs: I have always been somewhat cerebral and Venice was not always orgasmic through pure intercourse.   Therefore, I have researched this topic thoroughly and learned a long time ago that the majority or women are not orgasmic through pure intercourse.  By this I mean, orgasmic simply because a dick rubs back and forth inside their vaginas.   Most of the ones that think they are, really orgasm because the male pubic bone (or testicles, depending on position) rubbing and friction created during sex massages their clitoris.  Also, although I was never a huge porn watcher, I would notice that the only scenes that were believable to me, where the ones where the women screams and immediately slaps and rubs her own clit as she orgasms.  For me, this was always common sense.  I know when I orgasm, the last thing I do is just sit there and let my penis twitch in the wind.   As soon as I feel the build up, I grab my penis and squeeze, almost hurting my own penis head by forcing the blood upwards to make it huge, then stroke.  This is not only to release the semen, but also to put pressure on my penis head (which is like the female clitoris) to intensify the orgasm.  I understand everyone is different, but the idea of orgasming through pure intercourse has always been foreign to me.  I always used my hands, toys, or purposely grinded my body against Venice’s clit to help her achieve her orgasm as well.  Although Venice was originally just the 1/3rd above and could only orgasm through oral sex, she gradually learned to orgasm through sex with help from our fingers or a toy, to now being able to cum from intercourse alone.   This was not easy for us, as I had to put my own ego aside from the beginning and know, not all women will just orgasm because I stick my dick inside them.  It isn’t that easy.  In the end, I believe Venice had to learn to listen to her own body and enjoy what she feels, before she could enjoy mine.

Myth: Inability to reach orgasm, or anorgasmia means a woman is “frigid” or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.
Fact: Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem or a side effect from medication.  Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what type and duration of stimulation they need.
Venice Bloggs: Understanding how an orgasm works isn’t something we are born knowing. The inability to reach orgasm may be caused from the lack of knowledge or reasoning as to what is going on with her body. For many years, even into my marriage, I believed there was something seriously wrong with my body, my mind, or my inability to appreciate sex enough so that I could orgasm from Ryan’s thrusting. But through talking and being open with what I was physically feeling and through experimenting with new positions, I was able to understand the mechanics of how my body achieved the different ways to orgasm.
Ryan Bloggs: Unfortunately, as a teenager I felt like this.  Rather than understanding everyone is different, I either blamed myself or blamed her.  The idea of not being able to enjoy sex made no sense to me, because I was young and enjoyed it myself.  It’s hard to understand something you yourself will never deal with.  It takes time and experience to realize the world doesn’t revolve around your experiences, feelings or ideas.  Eventually you open up and learn to accept being non orgasmic has nothing to do with your penis or your partner’s lack of wanting you or sex. 

Myth: If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover.
Fact: While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes in their love making.
Venice Bloggs: A man isn’t a mind reader, or in this case, a “body reader.” How can I expect Ryan to help me achieve an orgasm if I, myself, did not know? I had to learn what MY body liked and what MY body positively reacted to, because what may work for me may have the opposite effect on another woman. Additionally, so many factors come into play: sexual position, strength, speed, open-mindedness, just to name a few. Even if both partners were experienced lovers (and by that I mean by the number of people they’ve had sex with) that doesn’t make him/her “skillful.” Each new lover requires a different approach and set of skills to become that person’s “perfect lover.” In time, Ryan has become my perfect lover by reading my reactions and adjusting to my needs in bed.
Ryan Bloggs: Venice taught me everything I know about sex, so we/I learned everything together.    We met young and inexperienced.  If I was an unskillful lover, the blame is on each of us because she molded me into the man she wanted me to be.  I had the tool and the willingness, but I was never naive to the fact I was clueless when it came to a woman’s body.  I had never seen or made a woman orgasm, so the sex part I could do, but seeing her orgasm was a first for me.  Men aren’t born with the ability to please women, even if they think they are (those men that think they are, I’d say are probably worst lovers).    I was open to learn, listen, and communicate.  I have always been a strong believer of the following  fact:  It is the woman’s responsibility to learn her own body and find out what makes her tick.   As she learns (or already knows), she needs to communicate this to her lover.  Poor communication makes for horrible sex.  Although it wasn’t something that happened over night, throughout the years we have found out exactly what makes us tick.  Does that mean I am a skillful lover?  I don’t think so, because every woman is different.   I could be an absolute klutz in bed, but with Venice, because of communication and understanding her needs, I feel I am the most skillful a man could ever be with her body.

Myth: A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.
Fact: Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.
Venice Bloggs: I suggested to Ryan that I’d been foregoing orgasms after sex because I felt like I had already came, implying that his orgasm gave me sexual gratification. In hindsight, a lot of times I would feel my body and inner muscles contract but was still unaware of what had  happened because I didn’t lose total control.  Also, if I have ever had a headache prior to sex, afterwards, at least for the following 30 minutes, my headache is completely gone (this kind of takes away my whole, “I have a headache excuse” huh?).   While these orgasms may be my reasons behind feeling so satisfied and relaxed,  I also believe that my giving nature has in turn allowed me to become a giving lover; I was satisfied sexually knowing that I worked hard to make Ryan cum. I was mentally fulfilled. Sometimes I want to be fucked hard, sometimes I want to be massaged and have him lick my back. I play my sexual needs by ear, and if they do or don’t lead to penetration, which may or may not lead to an orgasm, I know I will be satisfied because I was in control of my needs.
Ryan Bloggs: This is something I still haven’t grasped completely.  If Venice doesn’t feel like having a physical orgasm, she still tells me she loves sex with me.  She also says that her making me orgasm totally satisfies her, as if it was her own.  I have a hard time getting this.   Maybe I am selfish and she is giving, but I am still learning.   It’s not something I will complain about, but sometimes she does get irritated and ask, “Why do you want me to cum so much?”  As her lover, I want to physically give her orgasms.  However, this isn’t how she always enjoys sex or being intimate.  For me, this is hard to understand. 

What can you do?

It is possible to try too hard. Focus on enjoying the process, not on whether or not you will have an orgasm.

Communicate with your partner your preferences when it comes to sex. Your partner cannot read your mind.

If you or your partner are doing something pleasurable, encourage your mate to continue.

Learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with your sexuality. Your current inability to have an orgasm is not a reflection of your femininity, your psychological or emotional health. Putting yourself down just makes it that much more difficult.

Some women have trouble concentrating during sex. If that is the case, you may wish to fantasize, i.e., thinking about something sexual may excite you and may reduce negative emotions. If you feel that you are very close to achieving an orgasm, alternate tightening and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This may sometimes trigger a real orgasm.

For some couples, love making ends once the man ejaculates. Often, at this point the woman is very aroused. If this is the case, you might ask your partner to continue stimulating you with his hands or his mouth once he is finished. Some women feel uncomfortable doing this, thinking that this would be selfish or that their partner would be bored. In fact, your partner may enjoy giving you pleasure. Rather than being selfish, you are giving your partner the chance to please you.

What about Vibrators?
Vibrators, either plug-in or cordless, supply more intense stimulation than can be obtained with either intercourse or manual stimulation. They can be especially helpful if you have an illness that makes it hard to reach orgasm, such as multiple sclerosis. They can be used by you or together with your partner as part of your love making.

Suggested Books
There are several good books available with “exercises” to help you reach orgasm. These usually focus on learning to have an orgasm by yourself and then, once you know the desired manner and amount of stimulation you need, you can teach your partner how to please you. It can also be helpful for your partner to read one of these books. Women of some religious faiths may sometimes feel that self-stimulation, or masturbation, is wrong. Others of the same faith feel that since the long-term goal is to improve the relationship then self-stimulation is okay in the short term.

For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality: by Lonnie Barbach. Written over 20 years ago by a woman who ran groups for pre-orgasmic women, this book has a lot of personal stories. Women like it because they see they are not alone and they can usually identify with one or other of the stories.

Becoming Orgasmic: by Julie Hieman and J. LoPiccolo. A bit more clinical than the previous book, it also has exercises to help a woman think about where she learned her ideas about sex and whether these might not be realistic.

The Gift of Sex: by Cliff and Joyce Penner. Written by a Christian couple, this is a very frank and helpful book, especially for women who find some of the suggestions or assumptions in “secular” books objectionable.

If none of the books or suggestions are helpful, you might consider asking for referral to a sex therapist or psychologist specializing in treating sexual difficulties.

MTV Teen Mom Star, Farrah Abraham releases sex tape

From MTV’s Teen Mom to Backdoor Squirting Milf Porn Star.  Farrah Abraham released her sex tape today via Vivid, the same company that released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee (Pam and Tommy), Jimi Hendrix, Kim Kardashian, WWE Diva Chyna, and a number of other B / C / D level celebs that can only get your attention by fucking each other’s brains out on camera…

… the same way we do!

I’m not mad at you Farrah, sex is beautiful, and doing it the way you do it is even better.   Co-star / porn actor James Deen has openly said that recording this video was just another day in the office for him.  Any claims of this being a “private” sex tape is false, as it was purposely recorded in home video fashion to create more interest.   Her partner in the video is a known porn star.  Farrah, no need to pretend it’s a home video, just tell everyone you take it in the ass and squirt all over the room, that’s all the buzz you need.

Farrah Abraham just went from the most annoying reality star / teen mom on earth, to now just a somewhat slightly annoying milf.  Her new large breasts and open-attitude towards anal sex definitely puts her a lot higher in my book.  Although her oral skills need work,  her anal and squirting techniques will make even the most uptight executive at Viacom proud.  Good find MTV!  Your casting director and talent scouts need raises for sure.

Vivid’s synopsis:

“From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public for download. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too!” 

If you’re internet savvy, check the bay for the full release.

Female Ejaculation: It wasn’t pee (female perspective)

It seemed like an urban legend to me. The story of a woman cumming, but not the cute little twitches that squeeze a man’s cock, or his finger as he sucks on her clit. My entire belief on the female orgasm was clitoral stimulation from the outside.  The g-spot was a made up place, a place that could never be found, a place just as imaginary as the Fountain of Youth.

 There have been times when my husband, Ryan, fucked me so hard that I thought I peed.  Or I’d ride him without caring about the pain in my stomach his dick was causing; I’d bounce on his cock with so much force I’d bleed that night.  But again, I “wet” myself and I thought this wetness was pee from me letting go of my inhibitions. These moments of wetting myself were hot and were a turn-on because it meant my body and mind were totally in sync in our sex act.

 **Before I get into the various times I squirted, let me clarify that I have “squirted” (what I consider a “female ejaculation”) without orgasming.  Conversely, I can orgasm without squirting.  But, I can squirt AND orgasm at the same time – and believe me when I say this feeling is extremely intense and probably the closest thing I will ever experience to cumming “like a man.”

The first time I squirted during an orgasm, Ryan and I were having sex in the spoon position.  In this position, I tell him to go deep because the pressure in the back of my vagina was a good feeling, not one that hurt.  He held onto my hips as I grinded my body into him, his cock scooping deep into me.  We were hot and sweating from head to toe.  It was only after I came did we realize just how wet the bed was.  It was as if I peed the bed. Was it possible?  I didn’t feel like I released that muscle that holds your urine back.  I was embarrassed because this never happened before.  I know what sweat spots look like and this was not that.  It didn’t smell like pee either.  It smelled like…well, like sex.  This was about four years ago.

The second time, we were in a 69 position.  He was eating me out while using a soft dildo.  I hadn’t learned how to face fuck yet.  I didn’t even consider it possible, but I knew my body loved to cum with his entire dick in my mouth as far as I can and just hold it there. This is the first time I’ve ever “shot out.”  This wasn’t the usual wetness between my legs caused by my normal cum.  It was more like an eruption coming from my pelvis that travelled down through my pussy and out of my tight hole.  As we were 69ing, I felt the cum feeling stirring in me and as soon as I did, I knew I had to have his cock lodged in my mouth to intensify my cum (could this be why people partake in autoerotic asphyxiation?)  I took a deep breath and quickly pulled his hips onto my face.  With my mouth full of cock, I couldn’t scream.  I felt my face getting flushed.  My body twitched and writhed as I held back as my cum as long as I could, but it was so intense that my hips raised up off the bed and as soon as I did, a thick, semi-cloudy fluid shot onto the sheets about and on the wall over two feet away.  It wasn’t pee; it had the consistency of mashed clear jello mixed with froth.  Even after a few minutes, it wasn’t absorbed into the sheets.  It looked like tiny little jellyfish sitting on top of wet beach sand.  Little droplets landed on Ryan’s face, but most of it came out with the shot.

During my third experience, I had just learned to deepthroat.  Again, we were 69ing, but this time I was on top. I just realized that deepthroating made me very, very horny.  And very, very wet.  This was the day after I dripped all over my own legs/ankles as I was kneeling and deepthroating my husband’s cock. As I deepthroated from the top, I again came from oral.  But instead of just cumming, my vagina started pouring out juices that he didn’t get to see because he was eating me out. He said he couldn’t breathe. Some of it got on his face as he turned to the side, but after a few seconds he put hismouth up to my pussy and just let it fill up his mouth. It was about a third cup of liquid he swallowed.  He then stuck his tongue inside me and just drank my juices as it came out rather than holding and waiting for it to fill his mouth. He said this was the most he’s ever ate/drank of my juices.  Except for the time when I peed in his mouth and forced him to swallow.

Fourth experience. I was riding my man’s dick hard when he said he felt his balls and lap suddenly get completely soaked. I also noticed his dick was fucking my pussy with this wet/dry feeling. It wasn’t spit or lube; it was almost like I peed on him, but it couldn’t have been because it didn’t look, smell, or taste, like pee.  All I know is that it’s possible because I now squirt while being fucked. Maybe it was the angle that was making his fat dick hit a spot (g spot maybe?) in just the right way so that I leaked.

For my fifth experience, my husband discovered a way to make me ejaculate (see Ryan’s article “Female Ejaculation: It isn’t pee”).  At first I was reluctant that it would work since I have never experienced it before.  But I was down for anything new he suggested.  He explained that I would be getting a massage, which I always welcome.  Little did I know it was going to be a deep tissue massage, the kind I heard (directly from a massage therapist herself) can cause someone to burst into laughter or full-out tears. 

He poured grape seed oil onto his hands and began with a full body massage: deltoids, the crevices of my shoulder blades, middle and lower back, buttocks, hamstrings, calves.  He told me turn over: clavicle, pecs (this is when I start getting sensitive and ticklish), and finally back to my inner thighs.  Soon I felt him slide two fingers in my pussy and proceeded “forklifting.”  At first I was nervous.  I just peed, but his fingers are hitting an area that makes me feel like I’m holding the pee feeling in (I later realize that this is the same feeling I get when I’m getting fucked hard and deep). 

I knew that this “pee” feeling was normal.  So the first thing I did was to remind myself, This is normal, I’m supposed to feel this.  I had to physically accept this sensation regardless of how awkward it felt.  Once I did that, I then had to say, Relax…relax. Enjoy this feeling, accept it, love it.  My body and mind were now free.  I put myself in a sexual trance: my mind cleared of any reservations, my body taking in this new sensation.  I felt like a monk who had just become spiritually enlightened. 

Almost immediately, Ryan felt what he described as a “spray” splashing onto his palm.  “Oh shit!” is all he said.  He raced for the light switch and what he saw surprised us both: a semi-cloudy fluid spewing and flowing freely from my pussy.  But not a short-lived dribble, I mean it was gushing out non-stop. Actual fluid, like a fountain.  “What?” I said.  We couldn’t believe it. 

Soon after was my sixth experience, I was on top again, purposely using his dick in the exact same way he forklifted my pussy.  It wasn’t as strong or forceful, but I re-created the forklifting motion, forcing his dick to rub my spot hard.  A few minutes into it, his  balls, dick, lap, pubic area, ass, and bed were all wet. Neither of us came.  But at that point I had a greater understanding of how my body functioned and was also becoming more in tuned with it.

My most recent is my seventh experience.  This is a different kind of first because we were analing.  His dick wasn’t in my pussy, but for some reason we were still wet and slippery.  My cums are always so intense when I get fucked in the ass, sometimes I think my heart either races or stops.  On this day, though, after it was over, we could clearly see the SPRAY wet mark on sheet.  My husband turned on the light and we could clearly see a 4-inch spray, like someone took an aerosol can filled with heavy liquid and aimed on the sheet.

Clearly I cannot plan when I’m going to squirt.  Sometimes it happens when I cum through clitoral stimulation and other times it happens because my g-spot gets pounded or rubbed the right way.  I can’t feel the actual force of fluid being expelled from my body; I don’t ejaculate the way a man ejaculates: semen shooting from his cock in conjunction with an orgasm.  My “ejaculation” can be separate as well as paired with an orgasm.  This is part of the reason my cums are amazing now: they’re unpredictable.  With that being said, I simply relax and let whatever happens.  Why worry about what I can’t control?

 Female ejaculation is not a myth and it is 100% achievable.  Try it for yourself. It may take a few tries, but like they say: the fun part is getting there.

 I will update this post if and when I get number 8.

Female Ejaculation: It isn’t pee

No Peeing Allowed

No peeing allowed.

Last night I gave my wife, Venice, a massage with Grape Seed Oil. Although she had a lot of tense areas on her body, she eventually relaxed and let me rub her down from head to toe as she lay on her stomach. I asked her not to moan and just totally relax, because usually my massages are with my tongue and she will moan the entire time. Whether she does this to keep me entertained, to keep me going, or because my tongue makes her uncontrollably moan, I do enjoy the response. Last night was different. I just wanted her to relax. I rubbed her back, deep in her shoulder blades, and down her spine. I massaged her back muscles which seemed very tight and tense. I rubbed a lot of oil over her curved butt, deep in her vagina crevices and ass. Reaching between her legs I wrapped my hand around to her front side, grabbing her pubic mound and squeezing. Every now and then I would slide a finger in whichever hole was the most inviting. 

Eventually, after thoroughly rubbing her  down I asked her to roll over. I quickly realized her front side seemed to tickle her a bit more. Instead of focusing on her breast and upper shoulders, which was making her giggle, I moved down to her pubic area and inner thighs. I poured more oil all over my hands and began to rub this area roughly and she  immediately responded by lifting both legs in the air. I am not sure why her  response to my aggressive massage to her pubic area caused her to lift both of her legs, but I knew she wanted to be fucked. She knew she wanted to be fucked. However, that wasn’t my plan tonight. I slid my oiled hand over her vagina lips, letting the labias slide between my fingers. Each time the tip of my  fingers would slide past her hole and down to her ass. The oil made both of her  holes easy to penetrate, but I would only penetrate enough for her to enjoy the pressure it created. My wife began to roll her hips aggressively but seemed a bit unsure about what I wanted to do. Both of her knees were now up by her chest and her vagina and ass completely exposed and in the air. I slid my two middle fingers inside her pussy, keeping them straight. Careful not to do the hooking motion with my fingers that I have read about in various articles about a woman’s “g spot”, I kept both fingers unbent inside her. In the past Venice complained about the hooking or “come here” gesture, saying it felt more like a scratching feeling. No g spot. This is something she absolutely did not enjoy. This time though, with both fingers straight, fingernails well-groomed, I began to move my entire arm up and down creating a forklift motion inside her vagina. I placed my other hand on top of her pubic bone, still slippery from all the oil. As I did the forklift motion and rubbed her pubic area, my wife  began doing something she had only done 4 times before during intercourse, but this time, it happened within seconds. She began leaking what appeared to be urine. At first I laughed, smelled the liquid, and let her smell. We both agreed that it did have the salty smell of urine, but for the first time in my life, this smell drove me insane. I am not sure if it had some sort of pheromones that attracted me, but I  wanted to dive down inside her and eat all her juices. My body responded immediately and I felt this uncontrollable attraction. It was almost like I smelled my wife  in heat and my animal instincts took over. Unsure what  exactly caused this response, I stuck my fingers back inside her and started the forklift motion again.  I knew there may have been a bit of urine at first, but now my wife was squirting white liquid all over the towel we had spread out on the bed. When I pulled my hand out, her vagina almost gushed with more white fluid spilling all over her ass. It would not stop. I had never seen anything like it, not even in porn. I jumped up and said, “oh my god.” 

She immediately asked me to grab her camera phone. I jumped up, turned on the light, grabbed the camera, and began to record her. As the camera started, she was still oozing liquid out of her vagina, slowly rolling down to her ass, but the flow had slowed down. Disappointed I couldn’t share with her what I saw, I started to massage her vagina again. This time she squirted with what almost seemed like a cum shot, over my hand and onto  the bed. I pull my hand out and she was again gushing white liquid out of her  vagina, down her ass. I picked up the camera and recorded this. Unable to  really control myself much longer and still smelling the aroma from her liquids, I dove down inside between her thighs and cleaned her out. I drove my tongue inside her vagina hole as far as I could, hoping I could taste her insides. It was a good night indeed, and although my wife had wet the bed a few times before (which will eventually end up on this blog), this was the first time I watched her fluids pour out uncontrollably. It’s also the  first time we got it on camera. Maybe one day we’ll share.


Ongoing log:

Sex in bed, me laying to the side, she squirted as she orgasmed.  Left huge wet spot on sheets.
69, me on top, she squirted as she came, sprayed my face, pillows, and wall.
69, her on top, she poured into my mouth as she orgasmed.
Sex, her on top, she squirted while we had sex.  Left my balls, bed, and penis soaked.
Forklift technique after full body massage.  Watched her orgasm and squirt, then leak fluid non stop, not urine for sure.
Sex, her on top purposely grinding her gspot, left my entire crotch wet, stomach, dick, balls, ass, sheet.
Anal sex, me laying to the side, she squirted as she orgasmed and left sheets wet.