Sleeping Nude

A few years ago I asked my wife to promise me she will never lay in bed with me wearing clothes. I noticed throughout the years, we began to change our sleep schedules, change where we slept (sometimes I would sleep in different rooms just to be more comfortable), and never woke up in each others’ arms. If my wife was already in bed wearing some shorts and a tank top, I may walk past her and rub her butt, but most of the time I would take my clothes off, hop in bed with my briefs, and go to sleep. Do not get me wrong, we still had a great sex life, but sex and “bedtime” were on totally different schedules. Like I said, we would have sex, then an hour later both be sleeping in king size beds in separate rooms. I like the room completely dark, she likes to sleep with the television on. I like to have a nice side fan blowing on my body, she doesn’t like the cold air.  To most couples this would seem like a huge problem, but we were both complacent.

The truth is, it was a problem. I no longer saw my wife as someone I wanted to hold all night, touch all night, scoot close and curl my stomach around her butt while rubbing my penis against her thighs. I was turning into a colder man who was affectionate during sex, but mentally not there afterwards. A lot of it had to do with my wife shutting down as she appreciated me less. If I wanted to try something new and different, she would agree, but didn’t show any enthusiasm. The sex was never bad, but it lost the feeling of two people in love.

Back to a few years ago. My wife and I both hit a point where we knew we loved each other, but we both had the mutual feeling of boredom. The complacency wasn’t enough. The sex without enthusiasm wasn’t enough. The lack of attention she got from me wasn’t enough.  The lack of openness in the bedroom for me wasn’t enough. We decided, as a couple, to fix it.  Of course, we both had to see the problem to want to fix it.  Our catalyst was the idea that were were no longer lovers or best friends, just roommates.   It needed fixing and we both agreed.

In breaking down a few reasons I had slipped during the years, I knew I never wanted to grow up and sleep with my wife like I was on a camping trip (fully dressed and ready to run in case a bear breaks into the camper). As a kid, I felt that one day I would marry a woman and each night we would lay nude together, her on my chest, talking about our day. I let my wife know that I want her to be nude for me in bed. I want to wake up in the middle of the night and touch her body. I want to know that if I roll over and hug her, we will both be nude. For various reasons, this helped rekindle that spark we had for each other when we first moved in together. I wanted to touch her again, I wanted to hug her all throughout the night, I wanted to rub myself on her and let her feel my naked body against hers. It was sex, without intercourse. A new form of intimacy that even as a new couple we didn’t appreciate. I could hold my nude body against hers for the entire night, falling in love again.

For me, this nudity came very easy. I love being nude, I love showing my wife my body, and I love to feel the freedom of things hanging where they hang. My wife had a harder time with this, as sometimes she would lay in bed with panties and a shirt, sometimes just her panties. I’d come across the bed and feel down her tummy to her thighs and immediately ask why she was wearing panties. She’d look at me, smile, and say she forgot because she wasn’t used to doing it. That’s all it took for her to remove her clothing, but she had to reverse what she had conditioned herself to do for her entire life. For her, sleeping nude didn’t come natural. She felt safe with more clothing. I wanted her to feel safe with me.

After a few months, I noticed my wife would only wear a robe around the house after a shower.  She may put on a sun dress or something simple, but she would not put on a bra or panties. Before bed, she’d slip off her outfit and lay in bed, nude, no covers, letting me see her body. If she is on her stomach reading, I know she wants me to lick and massage her. If she is on her back, I know she is getting tired and wants me to touch and make out with her before bed. She no longer forgets, in fact, it’s just the opposite. At night I will go out with my wife and notice she will not be wearing panties under her dresses. For whatever reason, she has taken a liking to her new freedom, and I enjoy knowing she is breaking out of her shell.  I want her to enjoy her body as much as I do, and how can I not give her attention knowing my wife is a hand slide away from me feeling her vagina or ass? I love it. I love being around her, I love talking to her, I love hearing what she has to say, because I feel close to her again. I feel like she wants me close to her. She wants me to touch her wherever I can.  She wants me to fuck her, whenever and wherever I can.  I feel like the effort she puts into letting me know she wants me turned on and near her, makes me try throughout the day to show her, I want to be near her. I want to live up to her appreciation. It’s more than just nudity, it’s the call of the wild. It helped  save our marriage, it helped our sex life, and it freed us from complacency.

-This article was originally written on November 4, 2012.   It was published September 30, 2013.

Q&A: I hate swallowing my husband’s cum. Any tips on swallowing cum?

no swallow

Bitter cum face

Jasmine via the internet 

 Me and my husband have been married for over 5 years and until recently I never gave him any oral sex.  I’ve decided to change that.  I have been reading different blogs and websites, yours being one of them, and I am trying to open my mind and experience everything with my husband.   My only concern is, I have tried to swallow cum with my a previous boyfriend and I immediately threw up all over him.   I know that is bad, but it wasn’t just me spitting him out, I actually threw up from the taste of it, all over his lap.  After that episode I have maybe given a few more blow jobs but never let a guy finish in my mouth.   

Anyway, when I met my husband he told me from the beginning he just wants me happy.  I told him about my past, the good, the bad, and the embarrassing, and he immediately let me know that I would never have to do anything I was uncomfortable with.  Believe it or not, he has stuck to his words.  I’ve never felt any pressure from him about oral sex.  The few times  I came close to initiating, I got scared because too much time between us has passed and I feel embarrassed.  I also don’t know when to stop giving oral without hurting his feelings.   I do know that I want to give him oral sex because I love him more than anything in the world and he deserves it, but I know I will never be able to swallow his cum.   Do you guys have any suggestions? 

Venice’s response: 

Thank you for your question. I commend your husband for respecting your wishes about not asking you to give him oral sex or swallow.  If the taste of semen makes you throw up, that is just awful.  I know that me swallowing has made me closer to Ryan.  I yield a certain dominance over him when I tell him that no one can have his cum but me, that he better not be wasting all that precious juice.  I even get pissed off at the idea of him jacking off and wasting my cum. I’ve turned my cum swallowing into a game, a game where I make all the rules.

Remember this: I know it’s not apple juice, it’s cum, I get it.  But the THOUGHT of it, what it represents to ME as Ryan’s wife, makes it the most delicious thing in the world.  If you have to train yourself to love it, then do so!  I hate to make this comparison, but it’s like smoking a cigarette for the first time: you try it because of peer pressure or you want to impress the other cool kids.  At first you don’t want to do it, but you push through it, even forcing yourself.  You start gagging and coughing.  It’s the worst feeling ever when it burns your throat.  But you see everyone doing it and you want to fit in.  So you smoke another one; same reaction. You repeat this process until finally one day, your body is used to it and needs it.  Now the cool kids are hanging around you all because you have this one thing in common.  Well, pretend your husband is the cool kid and you want to impress him.

Also, I commend you for trying to initiate.  It shows that you are willing to do it!  My suggestion would be to take baby steps.  If you do initiate oral sex, squeeze his penis hard after he has an erection for a few minutes and you will notice a clear sticky drop will appear around his urethra opening.  This is his froth.  This is the lubrication his body naturally provides to make sure his penis can penetrate the vagina.  I personally think froth is very sweet.   It has its own taste and texture.  I think that would be a better approach to having him shoot his load into your mouth.  Don’t take a whole load at once for the first time with your husband. Just a drop or two, or a small lick off his stomach.  Let it sit on your tongue for a moment.  You’ll realize it’s not disgusting and certainly not poison.

Remind yourself that this is your husband’s semen, the man that you love, the man who would do anything to protect you.  It’s been five years and he hasn’t even suggested you give him oral sex.  He sounds like one of the patient understanding ones.  Wait to see how patient and understanding he will be after you blow his socks off. Once you give him oral sex on a regular basis, and possibly even swallowing him, new doors will open and you will both benefit from your new-found sexuality. “I will never be able to swallow his cum.” Never say never.

Ryan’s response: 

First, thanks for reading our blog. I am glad you want to open up and try new things with your husband.  5 years is a bit long but it’s better than 10 years I suppose.

Oral sex does not have to involve any sort of “completion”.  Sometimes Venice will give me oral sex just to get me erect and use her saliva to lubricate my penis for anal or vaginal intercourse.  Every morning Venice wakes me up kissing on my neck, then under my arms, then each of my nipples, until finally she gets between my lap and will lick and suck on all of my sexual body parts.  Sometimes she will focus on my balls, other times she will lick and suck on my penis.  I never orgasm.   We both know our morning time is for intimacy and enjoying each other, not to get worked up and have orgasms.   It’s our way to show self control and appreciation for each other without turning kissing and closeness  into pure sex.

Those are just a few examples of giving your husband the oral sex he deserves without having to taste his semen.    The key here, like with most questions, is communication.  Talk with your husband and let him know you feel nervous but want to give him oral sex.  I promise you, he will embrace the idea.  Let him know that you would prefer to give him oral as a form of foreplay, rather than a finishing act.  Explain why.  If he has been as patient as you say he is, I have no doubt he will totally understand.   Also, if he knows oral is now something you are interested in trying, he will help initiate, taking away any of the embarrassment you may have felt before.

Now, let’s talk about the taste and idea of semen.  If you think your husband’s semen gross, it will be gross.  If you think his semen is the next best thing since honey, it will be honey.   Whether it be the texture, the taste, the smell, or just the idea from it coming from inside another human’s body, it’s all in your mind.  Let go of the childhood belief and grow into the woman he deserves.  Semen should be everything but gross.  That is the essence of your man, his being, his manhood, his ancestors, his past and his future, his dna, his seeds, his insides, his everything.   His semen is an extension of him.  Enjoy and take your man, all of him.   It isn’t gross or disgusting, and it definitely shouldn’t make you puke.   Free your mind and let it grow with your relationship.    If a man went down on a woman and puked because her juices tasted weird to him, what would you think?  It’s immature and young minded.  As we grow older we learn to appreciate the finer things in life:  the juices inside our partners being one of them.

Venice’s suggstions on  swallowing cum:

Deepthroat.  Our blog has gone into great detail about how I taste nothing, feel nothing, and smell nothing.  If I am deepthroating, Ryan’s semen bypasses all my taste buds and  goes straight to my stomach.   For me, this is definitely neat, especially since you can feel his balls on your lips squeezing with each thrust.  You can also feel his thick urethra tube at the base of his penis, where his kegel muscles are the most powerful, pushing his semen into my body.  For me, the downside is I love to taste Ryan and his cum.  Therefore, I enjoy letting him unload his first shot into my mouth and then slide him down my throat to enjoy the experience of his orgasm.  This is the best of both worlds.

If you cannot deepthroat, try having him cum as far as he can in the back of your mouth.  The goal is to get his semen past your taste buds.  This may not help with the texture, but if the taste if what bothers you, this will help.

Get drunk.    Most of us are just looking for a reason to lose our inhibition.  That 4th or 5th shot of alcohol doesn’t taste anything like the first shot right?  Well guess what, your husbands semen will taste like buttersworth syrup after a few drinks.

Use chloraseptic or some other numbing agent for sore throats.  Not only does the choloraseptic have an decent flavor, but it also numbs the mouth and throat.  This can help you with gagging during deepthroat, or keep you from tasting and feeling the texture of his semen.   Chloraspetic can also numb the taste buds which keep you from tasting anything.

Give him oral in the morning.  I’ve read that the gag reflex is the least active in the morning.  Wake up, brush your teeth, give your man a blow job, swallow his load, head off to work.  This lazy morning gag reflex can also help you get his penis deep in your mouth if you normally deal with a super sensitive gag reflex.

Wash down the semen with something sweet.  Whether it be a coke or cold drink, wash down the semen so the after taste doesn’t make you gag or puke.  Think of his semen as the alcohol and you can pick your own chaser.

Suck on a jolly rancher, tic tac, or a breath mint before oral sex.   If you are skilled enough, keep the jolly rancher in your mouth while working his shaft.  I know this may sound hard, which it may be, but it will  definitely help with the taste.

 Ask your husband to eat pineapples  the night before you give him oral sex.  It is rumored that pineapples make the semen taste much better.   Experiment with different foods and see if it changes his semen’s flavor.

The biggest problem is your mind.  I’d guarantee if you have trouble swallowing, you are the type that overthinks things.  Relax, enjoy life, enjoy your man, take your mind off swallowing semen and think of something sweet.  Truthfully, this is all in your mind.  Grow up.

Practice by taking cum shots in the mouth without swallowing.  This could be something you while taste testing his semen/food intake.   The more you let him cum in your mouth the more you will get used to the texture and flavor.  As you get more relaxed and comfortable, swallowing will get much easier.

Use flavored lubrication.   Use honey!  Although you won’t really need lubrication with oral sex, if you were to lube up your husband’s penis with flavored lubrication, like syrup or honey, the sweet flavor taste will overwhelm your tastebuds.  The sticky sensation may also be amazing for his balls or anus play.  Try it.

We will update this section as we think of more helpful tips in swallowing sperm.

My Morning Ritual and Morning Sex

Each morning I wake up to my wife’s music playing on her  cell phone and her pulling the covers off me and yanking the pillow out from under my head. Most of the time I am in deep sleep and trying to get my last few moments of rest before the work day. Most men wouldn’t like this, but for me it’s my wife’s mating call. We sleep nude (see article “Sleeping Nude”), I probably rub her body all throughout the night. I am a light sleeper; I wake up sporadically and touch my wife whenever I can. I love how she feels, and I love that she no longer jerks when she feels my hands. Now, years into our marriage, if she feels my hand slide between her legs, she will back her hips into my hand, while she is completely asleep grinding her teeth (the true sign she is absolutely NOT awake). She wants me.

Oops, I got off topic. Back to the covers being yanked off me each morning. My wife is of course nude as she clears off the bed so it’s just our bodies. I have never turned her down, I have never asked her to stop, I have never made her feel uncomfortable for wanting to be intimate with me each morning. I wake up groggy and unable to focus,  but immediately rub my hands up and down the curves of her back, tickle her ass and ass crack, and maybe slide a finger over her pussy lips if I can reach down far enough. She lets her hanging breasts tickle my nipples before she starts kissing on my face and neck. She eventually works her way down to my underarms and licks and kisses each crease, smelling my body. As she slides down my chest she will slowly lick each nipple, sucking on each for a few minutes.  As she works her way down to my belly button, she eventually gets to my crotch. From here, Venice is in complete control. I’d like to explain what she does, but beyond spending a few minutes lightly tickling around my balls and ass, I do not really know. I know my penis is in her mouth and my tired eyes roll back up in my head as I moan. Not the most manly thing to do, but I can’t help it. My wife does so much with her mouth, from deep throating, to probably 100 other things that change from day to day. Grabbing my dick with both hands and sucking, one hand and stroking as she sucks, or my balls and dick in her hands and she slams her chin into them, she does it all. Eventually, after a few songs on our playlist pass, I will feel her nose in my pubic bone and her chin on my balls. I look down and I no longer have a penis of any kind. My wife takes it all, even the lower shaft that has a 5 o’clock shadow from my shave the day before, gone. It almost looks like she is eating me out, no dick at all. She grinds her face from side to side and eventually slides her head off my crotch. As her head comes up, I see my dick… and then more dick… and then more dick… and then, oh my god, how did she put all of that in her mouth? Before I can really say anything, she is  sitting up on me trying to slowly slide my wet dick into her pussy. Not an easy task, especially since  it’s so wet and she could easily slide it right in. She likes it slow though, slow and comfortable. She doesn’t like to feel an entire dick slide right up in her body just because it can. She will slowly rub and work my dick head between her pussy lips and prepare high inner thighs to be stretched out by my cock.  As the head slides in, she moans and scoots back up. She pulls my dick back out of her body and wets herself more by rubbing my dick all around her pussy and inner thighs, eventually working it in deeper, inch by inch, moaning until my head hits the back of her pussy. She seems to love this feeling, as she will sit up on me and let my dick head press really hard against her insides (which also in return pushes my hard penis down into my own prostate — which feels amazing, like being massaged). I can feel my shaft pushing back into my own body, while my head rubs her back walls. The more she grinds, the more I feel her entire pussy completely full. I love her small vagina, I love how our bodies are so compatible that I bottom out, and we both can enjoy this unique feeling.  Her shallow vagina feels great, but she isn’t done.

In the mornings, most of the time, I do not orgasm. Our morning sex is for the intimacy, not the rush of the orgasm. The sex, like sleeping nude, it to share ourselves with each other and start the day off as a couple. That doesn’t mean she won’t get a bit wild, because she does. She will slowly let me dick pop out and she will ride me with my dick behind her, wetting up her ass crack. I’ve learned she does this on purpose to wet her ass. Before she stops for the morning, she is going to let me feel inside her ass too, the triple threat. Although this is a slow process, her vagina juices and saliva is all we use. She will sit up and angle her body to slowly let me head break down her tiny asshole. I can feel each crease of her anus open as my dick enters. This is what makes anal so amazing. If you pay attention to each feeling, especially in the morning when you are half awake, you can feel every detail of a woman’s ass. I can feel her star-like anus, each ripple, open up and rub my head. I can feel her tight dry ass, slowly slide down my dick, pushing back more on my prostate than going inside her. I love this feeling, I usually have to tell her to go easy. I don’t want to hurt or rip her, and when you are dealing with the ass, this is easy to do. After a few long strokes inside her ass, she will slide up slowly and let my penis flop to my belly. She then leans over and kisses me.

If the morning is going well and we both seem to be a little more frisky, I may sit up and roll her over. While I am on top I will slowly long stroke – all the way in, all the way out. I will let her feel my dick head push through her ass, then go deep inside her body. If she does not mention cumming, I will stay slow paces and eventually lean down and tell her how much I love her. I will slowly let my dick slide out and get up. If she mentioned she wants my cum in her for the day, or that she wants me to fuck her hard, that is her way of saying she wants me to cum (which usually in the morning we do not do). I will cum deep in her ass and throughout the day she will text me letting me know I am still inside her. I love the idea of being with her throughout her day.

This is my alarm clock, one that I never hit snooze on.

Q&A: Is it wrong to swallow my own cum?

Self Suck

Wrong, gay, or masturbation?

Dear Venice and Ryan,

Since I was a little kid I would masturbate multiple times a day, but never in the bathroom because someone would always interupt and ruin the moment.  I was a crafty young guy so I started doing the deed under my bed or in my closet, depending on if my mom and dad were home, or my brothers and sister.  If noone was home, I’d do it in my dad’s  lazyboy in the living room while watching an exercise show on ESPN or something.   At first, these locations worked great because I couldn’t really cum.  I would get hard and jack off until I got this insane feeling under my balls but nothing would ever come out.  I was masturbating long before my balls could produce baby formula.  I didn’t know better anyway, I just knew it felt good and I never had a mess to worry about.  This was actually awesome.  Eventually though,  my huge moments started producing small drops clear drops, which I would play with.   I remember rubbing my fingers together and watching it stick to each finger.   I also remember it tasting sweet.   Anyway, a few years later I was a teenager and my little clear drops became huge cum shots.  I’d say, from watching porn, my pre-weed orgasms were well beyond average, almost worrisome.    Thankfully, after I started smoking weed I averaged out a bit.  Anyway, I used to cum and wipe it on a shirt on the closet floor or try to wipe it off on the bottom side of my mattress.   I probably did this for months before I started smelling a slight sweet,  but awkward odor, in the closet and underneath my bed.   I figured this wasn’t good for hygiene so one day I held out my own hand and fed myself my sperm.  It wasn’t sweet like before, but more of a bitter peroxide taste.  I didn’t really enjoy it, but it was convenient.  I have now been doing this for four years, everyday, sometimes many times a day.  I now enjoy the taste just as much as I enjoy not having a mess.   I am not sure if I am addicted, but I read your article about semen being addictive, as well it containing mood altering hormones.  I wonder if this is something I am now addicted to, and if it’s okay to swallow my own cum?    Any advice would be appreciated.

Venice’s response: 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating your own cum.  I eat my husband’s cum every time it leaves his body and I love it.  And because I love it, it only seems right that he should love it too.

Back to your question though.  I don’t see a guy eating his own cum as a disgusting act; I see it as just the opposite.  In fact, if I could hang him upside down, have him shoot his own load into his mouth, and watch him eat it, that could be one of the hottest things he could ever do.  I don’t think it’s gross, unnatural, or weird.  Seeing a man eat his own cum is thrilling and sexy.  It shows he’s confident in his own sexuality and not afraid to go to the extremes.  Knowing a man can get wild in bed is something a woman should embrace because it shows he’s comfortable with her and their life.

If you think about it, if something is created in the human body, it’s more than likely safe for immediate consumption, with the exception of feces, only because E.coli is found naturally in the human body and can get you seriously sick (or worse).

Is it okay to swallow your own cum?  Sure!  Go for it.

Ryan’s response:

First of all, I am not a doctor.  I have no idea if it’s physically harmful to swallow your own semen (although I highly doubt it — I’ve never gotten sick either).   If you are really curious about the effects of swallowing semen, maybe check out a medical website where you can ask real doctors questions, possibly a urologist, as I assume this isn’t something you’d feel comfortable asking your local family doctor at your next visit.

With that being said, I do have my own non medical opinion.   Swallowing your own cum is not harmful,  as long as you do not have an infection or an STD.  If you were to purposely not orgasm for weeks, your body would absorb your semen anyway, so I’d assume recycling your cum through swallowing does nothing more than feels kinky, and keeps your “work area” clean.   I do not think it will have any effect on your mood either, as the acids in your stomach would destroy much of your ejaculate.   In the article you mentioned (Anal Sex – Semen in a woman’s ass creates a higher sex drive and dependency), I actually explain the differences between semen being swallowed compared to semen being released into a woman’s colon.  That would be a different issue entirely.

To answer your question though, no, I do not think there is anything wrong with swallowing your own semen.  If you enjoy it, enjoy it.  You only live once.   Just remember, the same way you keep your “work” area clean after you masturbate, you can apply those same principles to your woman’s vagina.  Clean up your mess you leave inside her.  She will love it, she will be a lot fresher the next day, and you get to keep your healthy daily dose.    Have fun!

Q&A: Sex twice a month?

2days

Pay day? Sex day?

Joanna from Michigan:

Dear Venice,

How do you have sex with your husband twice a day and not get wore out?  I have sex with my husband maybe 2 times a month and usually for the next few weeks  I am too sore to walk.  Is this because he is too big or is this normal?   If it’s normal, how do you manage to have sex so much?

Any advice would be appreciated!

Venice’s Response:

Hi Joanna.  Firstly, go to your OB and ask him/her if there is anything wrong with your body.  If you get the green light that everything is okay, move on to the rest of my answer.

It is very possible that your husband has such a large penis that it makes sex uncomfortable for you, but I highly doubt that’s the problem.  Your vagina is made to take the abuse from your partner, it’s what makes a woman so special.  A man can work all day lifting moving furniture, stressed out from his boss giving him too much overtime, come home, pull your panties off, and take out all the stress in his life out on your pussy.  It won’t break.  It’s also the same hole that gives birth to eight-pound babies.   Instead of feeling sorry for yourself and limping around for the next week, pride yourself in being fucked properly by your husband.  Most women would kill to have such a stud in the bedroom that for the next  week their thighs and vagina are sore.  In fact, that’s the exact feeling I go for when I have sex, which is why I beg Ryan to pound me out as hard as he can.  I like walking around the next day knowing I have bruises on my inner thighs and my lips are torn from being fucked right.   It makes me feel like a woman.

Perhaps part of you problem may be attitude.  Do not be a victim and pout around for a day about your vagina being sore.  If you want to take care of your husband each day, by all means do it!  Good luck to you both!

 Ryan’s response: 

It’s too bad your husband only gets to experience one of the greatest pleasures in our short lives twice a month because you are hung up on how your vagina feels after sex.  Venice burns the skin off of my penis half the time, but this doesn’t stop us from loving each other and being intimate each day.  It’s part of a healthy relationship to be sexually active with your partner, and I’d say if you tried having sex more than once a week, you’d get used to feeling like a real woman.  In fact, I believe you’d love it.