The Five-Second Kiss Rule #AdultSexEdMonth

longkiss

It seems that the longer a couple has been together, the more difficult it becomes to be affectionate with each other. Complacency, habit, and just plain being “used to each other” can get in the way of the need to remind the other about their commitments. The time they set aside for one another can easily become routine or mundane if they’re not consistent, so every couple should create their own ways of ensuring their love still burns in them, even if it only flickers.

Ryan and I are of the opinion that a happy couple should have sex every day of their lives, and both partners should remind themselves in their own heads, why they love their partner. A good relationship is hard work. If it seems easy, more than likely you are missing something. With everything you do well, whether it be your health, your hobbies, and even your job, the more you do certain tasks, the better you get. For instance, the more you go to the gym and exercise, the stronger and healthier you look. It’s hard work being fit and healthy. Well, a healthy relationship is the same. Finding time to be intimate, make love, and make your partner feel special should be a daily activity. Yes, even kissing.

Don’t misunderstand me though, I do not mean have sex just to have sex, or kiss just to kiss. A couple must practice intimacy and positive thinking. It’s not just a cliche message to think positive, it’s the reality of a strong relationship. If you kiss, hug, or make love to your spouse, as much as you moan or purr in your partners arms, you must purr to yourself as well. Make it a mental exercise to tell yourself how lucky you are to have your partner. If you show enthusiasm, show enthusiasm because it makes it exciting and fun for you, not just for your other half. Fake intimacy or sex done out of obligation is worse than no sex at all, for both of you — resentment resentment. A man or woman should look into their own minds and figure out why it’s important to not only have sex, but to love the sex each time you are with your partner. Enthusiasm, wanting each other, loving each others’ touch, and feeling each others’ bodies rub and create the friction we read about in romance novels.

The above is a good example of why couples need to abide by the five-second kiss rule. Not just with your lips touching, but with your hands touching each others faces, cheek smelling, and yes, a little tongue, at least once a day. This may sound like a silly robotic act, but a routine isn’t always bad thing. It’s a bad routine if you are ignoring your partner’s needs each day, and it quickly turns into a lifestyle. The opposite is also true. It’s a good routine if you are purposely being intimate with your spouse each day, it too will eventually become your lifestyle. If you prepare yourself for any major event in your life, whether it be a test, fight, sports match, or a marathon, usually you will plan a routine and follow rules to reach your maximum potential prior to the event. In this case, it’s the most important event of your life, your happily ever after. For us, there is nothing more accepting than kissing each other and holding our mouths together to see how the other responds. Ryan has told me that since we’ve been together, that if he has ever even slightly opened his lips while kissing, I’ve always let my tongue slide inside his mouth. Not aggressively or quick, but just the tip of my tongue to feel for his tongue. It is something I never really noticed, but it’s almost like an antennae. It’s instinct for me to reach out with one of the most sensitive organs in my body and feel to see if he is receptive. As interesting as that idea is, that also makes oral sex extremely intimate when put into this perspective (I love nothing more than feeling the tastes, shapes, and textures of my man’s penis and balls on my tongue – his most private possessions).  Ryan also noticed that I will wait for him to open his mouth before I initiate tongue play. It’s a team game, and you both do things you may not even notice, but if the love is present, it works. Of course, if we weren’t in love, we wouldn’t want to even kiss, let alone open our mouths and have the other stick their tongue in.

We don’t do this just for the pleasure of kissing, or even the possibility of sex to follow, it’s for the attachment we feel each day to the person we decided to spend the rest of our lives with. Our mouths are the dirtiest parts of our body, and although kissing is done in public and isn’t seen as a “dirty act“, the truth is, sticking your wet organ/tongue in another person’s wet body/mouth, swapping saliva and juices, and feeling each other’s lips is just as intimate as sex itself. Sex is taboo and private, which created a stigma with the act. Everyone wants to do what we can’t do, so sex became this important mountain in our relationships. In fact, some couples have built sex up so much that they (or their religion expects them to) wait until after marriage to enjoy each other sexually. However, kissing (being so close you almost breath the same air — as if you could save each other’s life with a sexual CPR) was acceptable. I’m not downplaying the importance of sex, but I am making a good argument for kissing being much more intimate and important than people think.  Under appreciated and neglected in aging relationships.  A physical connection and intimacy keeps your chemicals and hormones flowing, and if you follow your own guidelines to try your hardest to truly enjoy this physical time, you both will love each other more. No resentment for a man “wanting it too much” and no resentment from a woman “never giving me sex anymore.”

Kiss for 5 seconds everyday, or every time you say goodbye, or before you go to bed.  You won’t regret it.

The Little Things That Make a Huge Difference

Her Hand

Venice’s sleeping hand (photo taken last year)

Last night I was tired and ready for bed. I believe Venice was up working on her blog about her nipple bells self destructing after a photo shoot. Before she was done, I was out for the night. I slightly remember her waking me up saying there was an issue with the video posted, but I was so tired I couldn’t help. I suppose a half hour later, she worked her way into bed. Not only did she climb in bed, but she nuzzled her body up next time mine and started clawing her way around my stomach. I scooted closer to her so she could get arm around me and get to sleep. Instead, I felt her fingers walking down my crotch, reaching for my penis. I scooted up a bit more, I think, so she could get a good hold. I was out.

I woke up about 4 am in the morning and my penis was completely erect. I did a short kegel to feel my erection and I noticed that Venice’s hand was still wrapped tightly around my penis. I looked down, and she was still holding on to me, even while she slept. I nicely unwrapped her fingers to get up and go to the bathroom, but I smiled the entire time. A woman in love doesn’t go to sleep holding a man’s penis, unless she loves the man it’s attached too. I do not care how someone else tries to analyse the situation, she loves me. Not only does she love me, she loves my penis. And not in a way every wife is supposed to love their husband’s penis, she really loves it. Her actions do not lie and after years of marriage, she still wants to grab my penis at night before bed and just hold it all night for no other reason than she likes the way it feels in her hand.

 I can’t blame her though, I have been feeling myself all my life and have yet gotten tired of it.

Ladies, girlfriends, wives, gay men, whatever. It’s the small things (no pun!) that make a huge (yes pun!) difference. How much energy and effort does it take to hold your man’s penis while you sleep?

If your goal is to be his “perfect” spouse, this could possibly get you one step closer in the right direction, even if he already has you on that sacred pedestal.