The other day I brought Ryan lunch. Nothing exciting – just a salad for him and a few eggrolls for me. We’re both trying to eat healthier, lighter, and in more reasonable amounts. We each took a few bites of our meals and fed a few more to each other. He asked for one of my eggrolls and I reluctantly gave one to him. He then offered me one of his slices of Texas toast, which I took even though I didn’t want it. I knew something was off for him. He put the lid back on his salad and said, “Let’s go get a gyro.”
“A gyro?” There was a little hole-in-the-wall Mom and Pops shop that sold hot dog, salads, and gyros, among other things. He had one several weeks ago and he raved about it. So we packed up our food and we drove down the street for a gyro. “You know they’re made with lamb meat, right?” I asked.
“If they are, this shit is good!” he said.
“I haven’t seen any lamb around here in all the years we’ve been here. Actually, I think that hot dog shop signed an affiliation agreement with the local animal shelter,” I told him.
“What? Okay, V…get ready to mouthgasm.”
“I’m not going to name names, but let’s just say the hot dog people haven’t exactly been advocating spaying or neutering your pets…”
“Whatever V, keep talking, I guarantee you’ll love this.”
After we ordered two gyros, we waited in line at the drive-thru for almost 10 minutes, we hurried back to Ryan’s office and shared one in the parking lot. I took one small bite, barely enough to meat and pita in my mouth. I handed it back to Ryan. “No, no, no. You need to get some tomato in there, the lettuce. Did you even get any of the sauce?!” I took the gyro back and took a bigger bite. The meat was so moist, the sauce soaked through the pita. My eyes widened. “Right? RIGHT?!” Ryan said.
He took a few bites and I let the flavor sit in my mouth. He handed me the rest of the gyro. The white sauce dripped through my fingers and down my chin. I licked myself clean.
“Yea…” he moaned. “It’s like getting a mouth full of cum, isn’t it?” I took a sideways glance at him. His mouth was agape watching me chew.
“Stop looking at me, Ryan!” I mumbled with my mouth full as I faced toward the passenger side window.
“What?” he laughed. “Didn’t I tell you you’d like it?”
“Yes, but come on! You’re making me self-conscious!” I took another bite and again, chewed deliberately to enjoy the delicious Greek sandwich.
I could feel Ryan’s eyes watching me. “Aww yea…” he groaned. “That’s sooooo good…I knew you’d like it…mmmmm…enjoy it in your mouth baby…”
“Stop it! You sound like you’re watching a porn!”
He continued to moan until I swallowed…my last bite. After I was done, he replied, “Damn I need a cigarette.”
All jokes aside, that was an absolutely delicious gyro. I don’t even care if it was made from cat meat and rat.
TAGS: food and sex, turning food into sex, sex talk, couples that play together stay together, gyros, gyro, lamb meat, lamb meat and roast beef lips, secret sauce, love sauce, mouthgasm, sexy times