On various Fridays we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
This week is a bit different from our previous weeks. Instead of random crazy keywords, it’s a person’s name. Each of these keywords was searched various times and apparently led to our site each time. The problem is, it seems like the keyword is actually an ex-member’s alias and the searcher was none other than his wife. I feel we are safe using the name jesstakit, because this was just a Twitter/random alias that no longer exists, and it had no real name associated with it. Also, we will keep the email we received from jesstakit’s wife private. The Google keywords though? Public information and this Freaky Friday is a different type of freaky.
10. jesstakit friends
Venice: No big deal you know, just a concerned wife who just found out her husband’s secret moniker and decided to search the wonderful Internet for friends.
Ryan: Yea, nothing can go wrong searching the Internet for aliases.
Venice: Uh huh.
Ryan: I remember the guy, he was pretty friendly. I’m sure she found a lot of results for this one.
Venice: Yea for sure. She must have freaked out when the word “fuckblogging.com” returned as a top result.
Ryan: Naa, I just Googled his name and got the following: Soccermom, #Hotwife & #Escort, along with a lot of other not so flattering stuff.
Venice: Yea, that isn’t good at all.
9. jesstakit chat
Venice: Again, just a concerned spouse checking up on her man. No big deal.
Ryan: Yes, we are a clean wholesome site. I can see why these results led to us. We are known for our wonderful chats.
Venice: Yes, our traffic is swarming with insightful conversations and comments. We’ve had to change servers various time because of the amount of delightful chat we get here.
Ryan: To be honest, he probably would read our blog at night, then leave our site, make his wife a nice romantic dinner, play some mellow jazz…
Venice: …then pull out the butt plugs and inform his wife that semen in the anus is addictive and can create a higher sex drive.
Ryan: That sounds about right. We’ve helped many couples.
8. i want jesstakit
Venice: Okay wait. What?
Ryan: Yea, not really sure what’s going on here. Why the fuck are we a result with this one?
Venice: I just checked. Pretty much my twitter account is a result with every freaky term you can think of and the word jesstakit.
Ryan: You naughty girl. You naughty, naughty girl.
Venice: What, me? Noooooo.
7. jesstakit hard cock
Ryan: It seems like his wife has went full on private investigator on him.
Venice: Please, for the love of the internet, don’t tell me we have a jesstakit fan picture of his penis with our website’s name written on it.
Ryan: Hah! How crazy would that be.
Venice: I can’t believe she searched for this term various times and still ended up on our page.
6. jesstakit anal
Venice: Yea, I knew this one was coming.
Ryan: I’m. So. Ashamed.
Venice: Seriously, I feel like we just got sent to the principal’s office and he is reading our dirty letter out loud that the teacher caught me handing to you in math class.
Ryan: Ha! You remember that?
Venice: “I want to eat your ass hole out. Not just eat it out, I want to stick my tongue so far inside you that it gives you the feeling you have to use the bathroom…”
Ryan: Haha! It wasn’t that big of a deal.
Venice: He showed my mom!
5. jesstakit gay
Ryan: Okay, wait. This is just getting too weird.
Venice: Oh no, were just warming up here.
Ryan: This is bad.
4. jesstakit nice guy
Ryan: Okay, I’m done. This is fucking outrageous. We’re playing with peoples lives here!
Venice: Oh really Ryan? That’s where you draw your line huh. Nice guy?
Ryan: Yes dammit. I’m a man, and he is my brother in arms. It’s a man rule that you never throw your damn brother under the bus. I’m stopping here. This is NOT right.
Venice: Uh huh. Way to watch your brother’s back Ryan. We only have like 3 left.
Ryan: Viva la revolución.
That’s all for the freaky terms this week. We’ve shown enough.
Venice: I think you guys get the point. Some freaky things have happened since we started this blog.
Ryan: Angry boyfriends, private investigating wives, cock pictures with your face scratched into the head of the penis with a clothing pin.
Venice: Yea, just typical fan stuff. It’s why I love blogging and sharing my thoughts with our readers.
Ryan: We should make like an iPhone game and call it Angry Boyfriends.
Venice: That would be neat. Maybe have like a stack of dildos making house shapes with different girls faces in the windows.
Ryan: Yea, and like, you shoot the Angry Boyfriends across the screen into the Dildo houses and try to free the girls faces.