I’ve recently discovered the joys of creampies. Ok, not quite recently. I know what they are as I’ve seen them in a few porns. And to be honest, I thought it was pretty disgusting. But for those of you who aren’t aware of what a creampie is, lemme ‘splain. A cream pie is when a man ejaculates in a vagina and the semen seeps out. Similarly, an anal creampie is the same, only it comes out of her bootay. So when the semen comes out, it looks like, you guessed it, a creampie.
At first I really didn’t care for creampies. The 11-year-old me who just got through the mandatory Sex Ed week in grade school would to overthink it: “Oh my god, what if the porn star gets pregnant? Will she know which guy got her pregnant? How many guys will she have to do a paternity test for?” Yes, those were all thoughts that have actually gone through my mind as I jill off to creampie videos. Now, however, as a normal, everyday watcher of porn, it turns me on. I no longer see it as something perverted. And I definitely do not get worried about porn stars unintentionally becoming mothers. I still think of it as a random guy marking a nobody’s body as his territory, but now, creampies have a whole new different connotation.
And because I watch a lot of porn, I’ve become well-trained on how to spot a pre-emptive creampie. The guy will turn the chick so that she’s on all fours (because that’s the best camera angle to show a creampie). He will keep fucking her either in her ass of vagina, and will continue to do so until he cums. When he does, his balls will tighten up and his pace will quicken. He knows when he’s about to orgasm. Even though it feels the best to stick his dick all the way in her when he cums, he will refrain from doing this and cum as shallow as possible, even go so far as to pulling out all the way except for his head. This ensures that more of his semen will come out for the creampie. My favorite is when she pushes out the white ooze into a fancy little glass goblet (which the production assistant probably got from TJ Maxx because they’ve got fabulous deals; I don’t really care for the plastic ice cream bowls you get 4 for $1 at Wal-Mart during the summer months, that’s so tacky) and she drinks the semen. That takes swallowing to a whole new level and is up there with cum swapping, only you do it with yourself.
As I sit here writing this blog after Ryan has creampied me, his semen heating up between my thighs, I start to think: I have yet to see a male professional porn eat his own semen after he has cum in a chick. Why is that? Is he disgusted by it? Will that make him a homosexual for eating semen even though it’s his? Does he think that eating his own creampie will emasculate him? Does eating semen out of a porn star seem more perverted than eating it out of someone who is exclusive to him? I have no idea. That is some deep psychological talk right there. It could be all of the above. Or it could be that he just doesn’t like the taste of semen, making him a “spitter” like any other prude woman in the world. What a little he-bitch.
To me, if you’re mature enough to inseminate a woman, you should be also be mature enough to eat it out of her. Guys – don’t be afraid of your own semen! It came from your body! I have promised Ryan I would never waste his semen. If it’s not in my ass or vagina, I always swallow. Always. If some spills out down his dick or if she shoots all over his own chest as he’s jacking off in front of me, I will lick it up. Simple as that. And if I feel like it, I will ask him for a shallow creampie and push his head down afterwards so he can clean up his mess. I will then either suck all his cum residue off his tongue or he will keep his cum in his mouth so we kiss afterwards and share it together. Because a good lover isn’t afraid to drink his own juices or share them with his woman, i.e. he shoots into her mouth and she gives him half to swallow via kissing or making out with him afterwards. A good lover isn’t afraid to be uninhibited. A good lover understands that if he makes his woman taste semen, he should do the same. There’s nothing more sexy than hearing Ryan tell me that he doesn’t want me to swallow as soon as he cums in my mouth, that he wants me to give him some to share. It’s acceptance of each other, it’s consensual perversion, and it’s what people do when they’re not getting paid to swallow.
Fellas, if your lover isn’t swallowing, isn’t comfortable trying ass to mouth, isn’t interested in sucking on your penis once you’ve already stuck it inside her; don’t judge her if you yourself aren’t willing to taste your own cum. As a woman, I wouldn’t be willing to do any of those things if I knew my man had double standards and told me his sperm tasted gross and he hated having to taste it. Nothing would turn me off more than that. I definitely wouldn’t want to taste it in front of him if he thought it was so gross himself that he hated it. I am not his science experiment or swallower of all things he finds gross just to prove something to him. If you love it, then it must be special to you. So in return, I love it , worship it, and cherish it.
Food for thought. Cream for your pie. creampies creampies creampies