Best Anus Contest – Best Balls Contest – Best Vagina Contest

vagina and anus contest

Best Anus Contest – Best Balls Contest – Best Vagina Contest

Well, sometimes we blog about things that aren’t really current events but just something we happen to run across randomly on the internet.  If you’ve ever wanted to see a best anus contest, or a best balls contest, we have some links for you.

Do we agree with these winners?  We can’t call it.  A taste test may be required!  

 

best anus contest

Best Vagina Contest

As well as past winners

Best Anus Contest

Best Balls Contest

We are not sponsored nor affiliated with any of the links above.  As with all our Wild Wild Web entries, this is just dumb sexual things we found  interesting and wanted to share with our readers.

 

What NSFW Material Do Women Browse On Reddit To Get Horny?

What NSFW material do women browse on Reddit to get horny? 

With social distancing and way too much time on our hands, let’s fine something productive to do with them.   Jill off.  Although these subreddits we are linking below aren’t the only thing women browse when horny, they were selected from a survey taken of straight and bi women that were asked, “What nsfw material do women browse on reddit when they want to get horny?”

So let’s get down to business shall we!

r/jackandjill

 

Women and men cumming together at the same time.  Not porn stars, not fake, just amateur couples masturbating together, masturbating each other, or masturbating themselves at the same time.  This is a gold mine for men and women alike, but this truly is the holy grail for women.  This is what a woman looks for when she is browsing reddit for nsfw material!


 

r/passionx

 

A subreddit that is extremely friendly to women and couples.  This is the type of erotica you watch together as a couple. It is more about the appearance of intimacy and closeness involved with sex.    Every woman is different, but some of us like a good dirty novel, sex that looks intimate, and a glass of wine.  Oh yea, and also our vibrators / wands.


 

r/StruggleFucking/

 

As much as a lot of us girls enjoy wholesome sex that resembles making love, if you really get to know us and allow us to explore our inner fetishes, we also love being dominated.  Even when it’s intimate, we love feeling like we are being totally controlled.   Sometimes it’s not intimate and just downright vulgar.  Nothing makes some of us hornier than imagining a man treating us like an object and being used as a fuck doll.


 

r/chickflixxx

This subreddit is a place for women to confer about and share porn/erotica.  From requests of different types of videos they want to find.  To breakdowns of what women enjoy about porns and various scenes.  This subreddit has a lot of discussion and talk, not just sex videos and gifs.  If you are cerebral and want more than just a video, this is the spot for you.  They also link to a lot of full videos they discuss, so you will still get your omg kinky “fix”.  


 

r/JiggleFuck

 

All women are unique so we don’t all like one certain type of thing.  But don’t be surprised when you find out most of us prefer to watch how our bodies and breasts move while we get fucked.  Much like men prefer watching a man shoot cum all over everything.  


 

r/whenitgoesin

 

This subreddit captures a lot of womens’ absolute favorite moments during sex.  When it first goes in.  Sometimes it’s a beautiful moment to watch.  Sometimes it’s painful and our whole bodies tense up as we want it to stop, but we would never actually stop it.   This is the exact moment when we have decided to allow our bodies be used for another person’s pleasure. We are going to deal with the pain, pleasure, stretch, rip, and pressure.   And the best part is, no matter a man’s size, large or small, this moment right here it doesn’t matter.  The first few seconds will always stretch us out and make us whine in pleasure.


 

r/GirlsHumpingThings

 

This subreddit is exactly what it says.  A subreddit filled with girls humping whatever it is they want to hump.  Not all women like watching other men.  Some of us prefer to watch women, as it is guilt free and sexy as hell.  Totally the nsfw material I browse on reddit when looking to get my juices flowing.


 

r/GuysHumpingThings

 

See ladies, sometimes when men “squirt” it’s also urine!  lol They are learning a few of our tricks!

And to be fair, we also like watching men hump things too!  There is a subreddit for everything! In fact, watching a man prone masturbate is extremely sexy because it’s seems much more vulnerable and emasculating to watching a man hump pillows and couches.  And that’s why it’s extra sexy to us!  Seeing a man stroke sometimes comes off as cocky and arrogant.  And unless you are OUR man, we really don’t get turned on by arrogance.  However, humping pillows like a little horny boy hoping to turn on others with how his body moves is what some of us jill off too.


 

r/ladybonersgw

 

And then sometimes we want to see a man doing whatever it is he does with his dick.  Playing football or just jacking off. Although years of unsolicited pics and videos have spoiled what made this so special, it can still be sexy if we find it on our own.    This subreddit has a fine selection of men from all over the world that like to share themselves for a woman’s eyes.

And another one for those looking for this type of thing:   r/MalesMasturbating


 

r/Hegoesdown

 

And much like there are 100s of subreddits with various names for women giving a man a blow job.  None of those will please a woman the same as us being in control and watching a man go down on us.  Treat us like queens!    

Here is another subreddit with the same theme:  r/cunnilingus


 

 

r/outercourse

 

We’ve spoke about Outercourse plenty of times here!  Here is a subreddit that focuses on the absolute control we have over a man with our bodies.  We can tease you, we can edge you, and we can make you wet your pants by just rubbing ourselves against.  


 

r/RedditorCum

Here is a great subreddit that focuses on amateur men cumming.   And it also has a lot of gay sex, which women love!  Something about watching two men, or watching a man find creative ways to share his semen.  Either way, great subreddit for the ladies to enjoy.

I’d like to include other gay men subreddits for women, but I guess it would just be easier to link the entire pornhub gay categories.  


Pornhub for Women

No, we are not sponsored and have no affiliation with the links below.  Actually just awesome content for women!  

Kate Marley

Lindsey Love 

 

 

Loneliness, Porn, and Losing Your Soul Mate

porn lonelinessLoneliness, Porn, and Losing Your Soul Mate

Below I have added an interesting story from an anonymous author on Reddit we decided to share with our readers.  These type of random stories get a lot of attention so we decide to archive it in case it gets deleted.  It deals with being lonely and needing porn.  However, unlike young kids not finding dates because they are addicted to porn sites, it is quite the opposite.  It’s about older gentlemen that uses porn as a way to get through life after his wife has passed.  Loneliness isn’t easy.

I get it.

This actually reminds me of Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots being arrested for paying for an illegal hand job at a massage parlor.  However, what is usually left out of this story is that his wife has passed and he was 75 years old at the time of the incident.   It doesn’t make it legal or moral, but maybe it explains why a billionaire would risk his reputation to get an illegal hand job at a massage parlor.

Below is the full story: 

Writing this on a throwaway account because I could get fired for what I did.

I work at a store that deals with technology. I won’t be specific, but it’s a pretty big store, and a family store with things for kids to play with and little classes for them. We do sales and repairs, so we’re pretty full-service and often busy and crowded.

The other day, I was approached by a coworker with a question about the parental controls on a device. I’m one of the people who is very familiar with software and interfaces, and parental controls are one of my knowledge points that a lot of the younger workers aren’t familiar with (even though I’m not a parent myself), so this wasn’t unusual. The questions centered around removing them. My coworker asked if I could take over, and I said okay. This was all very normal, right up until he said “It’s this old guy. He wants to watch porn.” That got the requisite “WTF” look from me, and my coworker stifled a laugh. “Thanks for dealing with it,” he said. I kind of shrugged. I mean, I like porn, I’m not shy about browsing it, and that people have “needs”. I had no problem handling it, though I bet other coworkers might say I should just send him to a manager to get “politely declined service for that subject.”

He takes me over, and introduces me to this very old man. He looked like he might have had Parkinson’s, with the tremor in his hand. His iPad was also very old, as was the software on it. I could tell at a glance that his system had a version from before 2013 (because I’m a nerd who can tell these things at a glance). His iPad would not even be compatible with newer systems.

The old man didn’t say anything about porn, but he said that his grandkids had been over, and he thought they did something to his iPad, because it wasn’t working like normal. He said he thought that they’d set some parental controls “to block stuff so kids can’t see it”.

I smiled, and sighed, and began to tell him the usual speech about how parental controls work, and how we’d need the passcode if one was set up, and if he didn’t have it, it would require deleting the device and beginning without a backup to get things working again. His iPad didn’t appear to have much on it. But when I got to the settings, I was surprised to find there were no parental controls turned on.

I stopped, and I let him know that it appeared there were no controls or limits set. I turned them on and off just in case. I had to ask him. “So what wasn’t working?” I was starting to worry it might be a software incompatibility due to new web standards, and that his old iPad might not be able to be updated to match them. Internally, I did not want to have that conversation. People his age were often on fixed incomes, and could not afford to get a new device.

He began trembling again. “I’m 93,” he said. “My wife died. I have nothing left. And the…the videos I’d watch, they aren’t working anymore.” He took the iPad and started to go to a webpage. “I go to xnxx, and the images are there, but when I…”

I stopped him. “Sir, uh, our WiFi blocks that,” I said. I remembered using that site myself. It was one of the regular sites I’d used to go to for many years.

He nodded and closed his eyes. “Please, I don’t have anyone. I just…need something.”

I was struck. It stopped being funny. He was so fucking lonely, and the videos he watched online were important to him. I could see in his eyes, it was something he needed, to just keep existing. And I could see just how ashamed he was to come in, with such a subject and a need, but his loneliness was too much for his shame. He was practically in tears.

I acted like what I did next was a big decision, because I thought I had to put up the act, even though it was a quick decision for me. I pulled out my phone, and I turned on the hotspot, and I put his iPad onto my phone’s WiFi. This would bypass the content restrictions our WiFi had. He thankfully had a cover on the iPad. I held it at a low angle, and positioned it so we could see but hopefully there’d be as little a chance for anyone else to see. I typed in xnxx.

The porn site came up, and I kept furtively looking over my shoulder. He said “This is how it comes up, but when you tap, it doesn’t play anything…”. So I tapped. While the page changed, I remembered to turn down the volume, and I did.

The video came up and started playing. A-okay, no problem.

He began to say it wouldn’t do that at home, but still started thanking me. Still, I wasn’t satisfied. If there’s a bug, and it works sometimes but not others, it’s not fixed, it’s just a clue to find it. I tried other videos and they all worked.

I closed the webpage and the iPad. He looked so thankful. I told him I didn’t do anything, so I wasn’t sure it was “fixed.” I considered that maybe his kids, the grandkids parents had put parental blocks up on his own ISP, but they’d block the entire site, not the vids. I told him to try it again at home. I didn’t know why it hadn’t worked, but at least we’d proven that his iPad could play them.

He left, and even as I told him that I wasn’t sure we could help further he kept thanking me. I just stood there for a moment, and then I started tearing up and had to leave the sales floor.

It struck me how lonely he was, how the porn was one of his only ways of just having moments of satisfaction. I felt that hard. I’m serially single. I’m very lonely, and porn is my escape, and I’m just 42. I realized the state he was in, that’s something that is likely coming. For all of us.

I know that a lot of my coworkers would laugh at the guy, the pervert coming in, needing his porn. But I felt sad. Sad for him. Sad for all of us. I know that loneliness. It’s waiting for us all.

I don’t know if there’s a moral here. I just thought I should share. And please, I know porn is something we laugh about and make fun of, and it’s deserving of that. But sometimes…let’s take away the shame of it. You’re lucky if you don’t need it to get those little moments. Don’t take it for granted. And allow whatever moments others have, however they get them, without shame or looking down.

There is a moral here.  It isn’t just about being sad.  It’s about having a soul mate… and maybe having to deal with losing your soul mate.  And what happens if your soul mate passes in this life and you are left alone?  What happens if you do not want to “move on” and find a new relationship, a new person to love, or someone else to fill the void. Male or female, you may still have urges to release or have a physical need that needs to be met, but do not want an emotional connection. What can you do?   Well, you can move to Nevada (or any country) where prostitution is legal, or watch porn.   Whether you call it therapy or a release, porn isn’t always such a terrible thing.   

 

Drinking Alcohol With Your Vagina

Drinking Alcohol With Your Vagina

Have you ever heard of the term, “You don’t believe me?  Snopes it then!”  Well, Snopes claims that women using tampons soaked in vodka to get drunk isn’t true. So you shouldn’t be drinking alcohol with your vagina, at least according to the mythbusters of the internet. There are a few people out there that beg to differ.  One of them being Melanie Berliet, who 6 years ago not only put a vodka soaked tampon in her vagina, but she also spent a night out on the town with a breathalyzer kit monitoring her blood alcohol levels.  

Bacterial Vaginosis is an infection caused by an imbalance of “good” and “bad” bacteria in the vagina, most commonly affecting women ages 15 to 44. The exact cause of the condition isn’t known, but certain activities like smoking and douching can increase your risk of getting it.

First, let me clarify.  Do not try this yourself.  I have never done this, nor would I experiment for this blog, as I do not feel it is safe. Plus, I have experimented enough for the blogging world!  I believe it works, but I also believe it’s dangerous as you can get alcohol poisoning much easier.  Not to mention alcohol would kill all the good things going on inside your vagina, specifically the good bacteria and your pH balance, and lead to a nasty UTI.  Mélanie Berliet has already risked her vagina for blogging sake, so there is no need to walk on the moon twice.

Why Would Anyone Try Drinking Alcohol With Her Vagina?

The same reason people shove alcohol enemas up their anus…

There are various reasons why a person may want to drink alcohol with their vagina.  To name a few, it will get you drunk faster.  This isn’t a new idea, just a bit sexier than the concept of putting alcohol in your colon through your anus

  • Alcohol directly in your vagina or anus will bypass the liver therefore going directly to your bloodstream.  This will cause you to get drunker much quicker, with much less alcohol.  
  • To continue with the last point, less alcohol means less calories.  You can drink less, therefore your body doesn’t intake as much calories.  
  • Bypassing the stomach also means the chances of getting sick and due to an upset stomach is much less likely.   In other words, no vomiting at the end of the night. 
  • For drinkers that may want to hide their breath, whether it be work, a group gathering, or underaged drinkers, unless someone smells your vagina, you will be undetectable.  However, to the underaged drinkers, your parents may not smell your breath but you may end up with alcohol poisoning so when they drive you to the emergency room, it won’t be a secret anymore.  

Below is an interesting article that goes into detail about a woman and her adventures with vodka, tampons, and her vagina.

Stick A Vodka-Soaked Tampon Up Your Vagina, Get Drunk by  Mélanie Berliet

For the first time one recent afternoon, I scour the shelves of my local liquor store considering not which varietal of wine my palate desires, but which brand of vodka my vagina deserves. General distaste for hard alcohol be damned, I’m on a mission to explore slimming, defined by Urban Dictionary as “the vaginal or anal insertion of a liquor (usually vodka) soaked tampon for the purpose of rapid intoxication.”

Surveying the options, I want to believe my lady parts are worthy of a pricy Grey Goose or Belvedere. Since I won’t taste the stuff, though, reason dictates going for something cheaper, like Smirnoff. Following a 10-minute long internal battle between sensibility and delusions of vaginal grandeur, I settle upon a 200-mililiter bottle of the midlevel Absolut for $9.99.

On the way home, I think about the time-honored tradition of getting wasted. Stone Age beer jugs dating back to the Neolithic period point to the consumption of alcohol by our prehistoric ancestors, and we know from pictographs that Egyptians were downing wine as early as 4,000 B.C. Cut to present day, by which time man has exploited his ingenuity in developing a vast spectrum of deliciously potent concoctions—from margaritas to fuzzy nipples—as well as various methods of consuming them—from shooting to bombing and funneling.

Although a great article, we will skim over a few paragraphs and get you guys to what you came here for.  Start drinking alcohol with your vagina girl! 

I may already be of legal drinking age, but as a steadfast supporter of the don’t-knock-it-‘til-you’ve-tried-it approach to life, I feel obligated to give slimming a go. As soon as I reach my apartment, I grab a Playtex regular tampon (capacity for absorption: 6 to 9 grams) from the medicine cabinet. I push the rocket-shaped cotton swab out from its plastic applicator and drop it in a shot glass. It’s then that I’m reminded that the device is designed to expand as it gets wet, which will make inserting it post vodka bath a serious challenge. Fortunately, I’m way too proud to bail on an experiment the average rebellious 16-year-old can handle.

In nothing but a bra, straddled above the toilet in case of drippage, I touch the sopping wad to my privates.

“Ahhhhhhh!” I exclaim, totally unprepared for the burning sensation down below. It feels like someone zapped me with a light saber. Don’t be such a pussy, I tell myself, then laugh at my own terrible joke.

This is why Snopes claims that this phenomenon is not real.  The amount of pain involved with shoving a vodka soaked tampon in your vagina, with the amount of vodka a tampon can actually hold, would be equivalent to a small mixer drink.  Would you burn your groin just to get the same buzz of a small mixer drink?  

Several deep breaths later, the thing is lodged inside me.

While dressing, I squint and flex whichever vaginal muscles I can to stave off serious discomfort. Eager for a distraction, I rush out to meet my friends wearing a black pleated dress, patent leather pumps, a grey blazer, and one laughably agonizing vodka-cotton contraption.

“Everything okay?” a friend asks immediately upon seeing me.

“Yup!” I assure, but my contorted expression tells a different story.

Twenty minutes later, when we arrive at a Chelsea gallery for a private opening, I’m feeling better. But is the thing working?

There’s only one way to find out. Inside a bathroom stall, I whip out a breathalyzer kit purchased at Brookstone just for the occasion. The gizmo reads my blood alcohol content (BAC) as a whopping .14% already.

Mingling with friends amongst art, I can’t help but smile. I’m definitely drunker than I would be otherwise, so I can nurse a glass of wine rather than chug it. I pat myself on the back for minimizing the day’s calorie count, and for being such an avant-garde drunkard.

It’s not until two hours or so later that I start to feel an inordinate amount of moisture accumulating in my underwear. If I don’t do something fast, I fear it’ll soon appear as if my water’s broken. Since I don’t have the baby bump to pull that look off, I dash to the ladies’ room yet again. I can only hope I haven’t left a dribble trail behind me and/or raised suspicion about having a coke problem.

Behind stall wall, I assess the situation. Fuck, I think, for neglecting to wear a panty liner. I have to get this thing out. If only being on the sauce didn’t make being nimble so difficult.

A good deal of concentrated pinching, prodding, and yanking later, my vaginal canal is free from alcohol. But the burning sensation remains.

Doctor, we may be in trouble here.  It seems like we have a possible wounded soldier. 

Symptoms?  She seems a bit drunk, but no more than a few shots.  However, her vagina is burning and it seems as if her labia are melting. 

Oh this is serious.  Give me a tampon soaked in monistat stat.   We will try to reverse the effects.

Back at home, incessant stinging motivates me to research the potential risks of what I’ve just put myself through. I’m soon reminded that there’s a reason we douse wounds in rubbing alcohol: As a solvent, alcohol kills bacteria. And while microbe slaying might be wonderful for avoiding infection through scrapes and cuts, it’s likely to upset the delicate balance of good bacteria inside a gal’s vagina.

The frequent slimmer might as well beg for a yeast infection. So moving forward, I plan to stick to ingesting alcoholic beverages orally—at least until someone teaches me how to “eyeball.” 

Thankfully this experience saved me from having to risk my vagina for the cause.  We salute Mélanie Berliet for staying in the trenches while the rest of us normally sipped on daiquiris without having to shove a tequila worm up our vagina holes.  

Nipsey Hussle’s Last Words before he was killed.

Nipsey Hussle was gunned down on March 31, 2019, by Eric Holder.  Out of respect for Nipsey, we will not use the shooters name again.  Although technically we should say allegedly, there are eye witnesses that grew up with the shooter and personally saw him shoot Nipsey.  We will believe our own eyes on this one and not wait for the verdict.  

It is now being reported by those close to Nipsey and was there when he got killed, what he said to the shooter after he was shot.  Nipsey’s last words:   “You shot me.  You got me.  I’m good.”

Various articles and sources have suggested that these last words angered the shooter.  Make no mistake, the shooter wasn’t going to leave until he knew Nipsey was dead.  The only thing that would have possibly kept Nipsey alive, was if he had guys around him with guns.  Unfortunately, he didn’t. 

Lets put his words in perspective.  I do not believe Nipsey would have yelled anything out at a shooter walking away.  That wouldn’t make any sense.  However, he would have absolutely said, “You shot me.  You got me.  I’m good.” as the shooter was walking back towards him with his gun aimed at him.  This isn’t the first time we have heard the words, “Are you good?”  or “I’m good” as a way to submit to aggression.  In fact, we have seen many fights where a guy will be mounted, raining down punches, while asking the guy on bottom if he is good.  And we have seen may brawls where the guy getting beat up says “I’m good…” to stop from being punched more.   It’s a cool way to let the person know, you learned your lesson.

Maybe this is seen as a submissive act and people want his last words to be cool, like a good one liner from a gangster movie.  This isn’t a movie.  Nipsey said exactly what he said in hopes the shooter wouldn’t shoot him again.  “You shot me.  You got me.  I’m good.”   This wouldn’t enrage a shooter, if anything, it would call for the last bit of decency he had in his soul to let Nipsey live.  He didn’t.   

The reports suggesting that Nipsey’s last words enraged the shooter makes it seem like he was being rebellious, or had he just not said anything, he would have lived.  We disagree.  The shooter was doing the devils work that day, and much like the music we play on repeat over and over, handled a situation where he felt disrespected.  Because Nipsey was like a homie to all of us, we have our blinders on and want to see the shooter as a villain.  I know I do.   Rather than having to pick sides, let’s just go back to fair ones and fades.  Please.

If you have not seen the footage we will link it from  youtube but will not embed it.  

Now, his brother, Samiel ‘Blacc Sam’ Asghedom, has reported that he arrived to the scene before the ambulance and Nipsey was still breathing.  His brother also reported that he didn’t know Nipsey was shot in the head until the paramedics came and lifted him.  That is when he noticed the wound in the back of his head.

Watching the surveillance video, you can see the only time Nipsey had his back turned to the shooter was when he first ducked and ran, and when he was on the ground.  With the gun wound only being in the back of the head, the very first shot may have been to his skull.  Maybe it didn’t kill him instantly, maybe this is why he said what he said, and maybe this is why it seemed like his lower body was paralyzed when he rolled over.   Either that, or that first shot lodged somewhere in his spine.  You can tell when he rolls over, he couldn’t really move his lower body.

March 31 is a sad day, because we didn’t just lose a musician, we lost a man that would have probably went on to be a mogul.  Maybe even a billionaire.  We will never know.