A few months ago, I ran a feature about digital swingers — couples who post nude selfies, erotic videos, and sexual narratives on their own personal blogs as an integral part of their sex lives. In these relationships, reblogging a fellow couple’s porn GIF can be a form of foreplay. Since then, I’ve come into contact with yet another fascinating couple who thrives off the heat of internet exhibitionism.
Venice and Ryan are a couple who have been married for over 15 years and explore everything from the pitfalls of threesomes, to nipple clamp reviews, and Q & As about deep-throating on their (very NSFW) couples blog. They’re a couple whose sex life is in a constant state of change. Between the two of them, the couple swears they have tried everything at least once in the bedroom and I believe them. I sat down to learn a little more about the charming pair of “fuck bloggers.”
I find your blog a frank and refreshing glimpse into the every day sexuality of a functioning, monogamous couple. What made you two want to start sharing your sex life on a blog, with a larger community? Was it a way of reinvigorating your own relationship? Did you start off as readers of couples blogs first?
Venice: Ryan and I started blogging several years ago when we came to the realization that life was, and I hate to sound cliché, too short to keep our sex life sitting in idle. We loved each other of course, but we needed a kickstart to invigorate things. For me, it was a way to keep my mind on sex, on my husband, and finding new and creative ways to explore ourselves and each other.
Even after 15 years of being together, I didn’t fully understand that communication, was, in fact, the key to a healthy relationship. I’d always heard of this concept, but I admit I wasn’t very good at it. We started our blog as a way to help us communicate our feelings to each other; it seemed that if we expressed it in words, it helped us bind our thoughts together. I had never read a couples’ blog before, let alone a sex blog. So when the idea first came up to start a blog together, I looked online and found a few sex blogs, which I used to research topics, color schemes, and anything that I considered the recipe to a successful sex blog.
Ryan: Prior to starting the blog, we were in a transitional phase with our relationship. Venice was hitting her sexual peak and a lot of things in our relationship were changing. Her body and mind were changing and she kind of needed an outlet. Her biggest change were the feelings of bisexuality she was dealing with.
“Within days of starting our blog, sex became the only thing she thought about.”
For years, she would be bored with the talk of sex, because other than it being something we did every other night, it wasn’t really important enough to talk about. She didn’t have an outlet and never had friends that openly talked about sex.
Within days of starting our blog, sex became the only thing she thought about. Venice is very goal-orientated and writing for her sex blog became a goal. For the first time in our relationship, she would sit down and critically think about different sexual ideas. Because to write, she had to think about issues beyond what panties she was wearing to bed. Sex wasn’t something she had to critically think about, it was just something she did with her husband. However as men, we critically think about sex all day. Whether it be about fantasies, positions, theories, or just wanting to talk about sex and how it makes us feel. I didn’t really need a blog as an outlet, but seeing the positive changes it made in Venice, I was excited to join in on her idea of blogging about our sex life.
About how many readers does your blog see?
Venice: We are not a large site and seem to get around 1500 views each day. I believe we are nearing a million views since we started.
That’s awesome. What was the reaction from others you know in real life when they found out you’d been keeping a document of your sex life?
Venice: Other than a select few friends that have been in our bedroom with us, not very many people in our area know about our blog. Since we’ve taken so many photos of our different experiences, the ones we do tell already understand why, especially since they will be on the front page a few days later.
Ryan: Although we aren’t into swinging, we have had our site posted on a very popular local couples site we signed up for years ago, and I’ve heard it intimidates people. Which is crazy to me, because swingers seem to be open and fun, but most of them like to have their fun in the closet. As a couple that blogs and posts photos online, we would be the equivalent of telling the local news about their lifestyle. As far as the different women we’ve had threesomes with that agreed to do photos for the blog, it didn’t seem to be an issue. A woman joining a couple for a threesome isn’t really sexually reserved.
Have you met other couples through blogging — have you done any “swinging” online before? Has it ever amounted to a private correspondence with others fans or couples?
Venice: I’m a big flirt online! I love flirting with women who can relate to me and who have gone or are going through the same changes as me. Our readers have seen our sexual growth — as a woman, as a man, and as a couple. It became liberating to show others because it was these same people we found who were going through their own changes. We, as a couple, have met with one couple, with the understanding that we were not swingers but would meet as friends. If anything was to happen, we would play with the wife only and the husband had to be in another room. That was the extent of us meeting another couple.
Ryan: We have a lot of friends online in the lifestyle but, like I said, we personally do not swing. The only experiences we have had are threesomes with other women. Venice and I decide with whom we talk and base our decisions on her/their openness and compatibility with us. We are honest with them and expect the same from them.
“If I see a photo that I really like, Ryan and I will do our own version of it because it’s a bonding moment for us.”
Okay, this sounds like a simple question, but it’s kind of tricky. What makes porn good?
Venice: For me, porn is good when it addresses my kinks and fetishes. I love when the people are fully involved with each other, talk dirty, let the viewers know what they are feeling as they’re being fucked.
Ryan: Amateur stuff. I can’t stand watching anything where the people are paid to act like they enjoy it. I am too cerebral to enjoy anything sexual when I am looking at the porn stars wondering what they are really thinking about. “I bet after this shoot she is going to go out to dinner with her real boyfriend and talk about The Walking Dead episode she saw the other night.”
After last year’s leak of celebrity nudes, how has your own nude and very public photos shaped the way you see yourself and your body? What motivates your decision to put those images proudly out there?
Venice: I was very skeptical at first about showing my body to others. No one has ever seen me in my vulnerable state, except for Ryan. And my OB/GYN. I’m selective about what I post because I’m a blogger first and I prefer to be judged by what I write, so I reveal little snippets here and there.
My motivation to put out images of myself is to show others that I’m a very real, very sexual person and our lives go beyond our blog. If I see a photo that I really like, Ryan and I will do our own version of it because it’s a bonding moment for us. My body is far from perfect, but we still like to show others our bodies because we are exhibitionists. We are influenced by others who are just as proud of their imperfect bodies, and hopefully we can motivate others to open up and realize that life is too short to keep yourself from being the sexual beings that you and partner should be with each other.
Ryan: Anyone want some cock pics?
A lot has changed since this article, specifically we have now been married for over 20 years, instead of 15!