Q&A: How to introduce condoms after months of raw sex?

 

Q&A: How to introduce condoms after months of raw sex?

I am a 23 year old female and had been seeing this 33 year old guy for 3 months in the summer. When he first initiated sex he didn’t mention protection or move to grab a condom at all, so we had raw sex.  I didn’t mention it in the moment as I didn’t want to make things awkward (although I would’ve found it the biggest turn on if he had).

I brought it up a couple weeks later and he gave that old spiel about generally being able to tell whether a girl has anything or not. I told him that I didn’t want to have unprotected sex until we got tested. Interestingly in the weeks he took to get it done, he didn’t initiate penetrative sex – I don’t know whether he was trying to be considerate of my feelings or that he thought condom sex was pointless. We did have sex with a condom once and it wasn’t any more difficult for him to come. He said it was better than he thought it was going to be.

I ended up ending things with him for unrelated reasons but we have reconnected and started talking again in the past couple of weeks. However even though he sent me his results and he’s all clear I still don’t want to have raw sex anymore. I’m imagining the conversation and it being awkward af… What’s the best way to say that I want to use condoms indefinitely despite the fact that we didn’t at the beginning?

Thanks in advance! 🙂

Venice’s response to raw sex or condom

The best way to communicate is by communicating.   Simply tell him you aren’t going to have any type of intercourse without a condom.   There is no tricky way to get your message and point across.  Unfortunately, sometimes conversations and sexual topics can be awkward af.   But pregnancy or wondering if the birth control may land on that .1% chance it doesn’t work is definitely stressing.   And just having a casual partner’s cum inside you the following day when you are no longer horny isn’t that hot.  Personally, I wouldn’t want a casual partner’s cum in my body the entire next few days following sex, no matter how hot he is.  So I agree, raw sex is something very personal and something I’d want to experience only if I were in love.   So communicate and let him know your reasons why.  That’s really all you can do.  If it’s awkward, it’s awkward.  The alternative is exactly what you went through before, him just doing it how he wanted, or avoiding sex altogether.

Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

 

Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Prior to our relationship, he had been in a committed relationship for basically all of his adult life, whereas I have been in numerous shorter-term relationships. He tells me ex was not adventurous in bed – basically only missionary sex, literally nothing else. I’m much more open minded and experienced with other types of sex and enjoy some kinkier things. However, I’ve never pushed any of this on him because he never seemed comfortable with it (for example, early on in the relationship, I pulled his hair during sex and he told me after not to be so rough) and I’m otherwise very happy with our sex life.

My man caught a nice buzz one night recently and a whole new side of him emerged. He threw me around, held me down, choked me – generally played the dominator role and I was REALLY into it. I came super fast. In this adventure, he discovered that he’s really into forcing me to deep throat him and making me gag on his dick – he had me do it for quite some time that night, and I didn’t mind it given how thrilling and sexy the whole evening was.

After all was said and done, we were both super happy that night. It honestly felt like we were brought closer together in this experience because he was finally comfortable enough with me/himself to explore a new side to sex. It was awesome.

However… since then, all he wants to do is throat fuck me. Every time we’ve had sex since, he’s forced me to do it. I’ve played along so far because I don’t want to discourage him, but I really don’t enjoy having this done to me all of the time. I told him the night that it first happened that it’s something I don’t mind mixing into our sexual routines as long as we still do some of the other things we like as well – but he was still pretty drunk at that point, so maybe he doesn’t recall that caveat. I don’t know.

My question – when do I say something again? I feel like I should just play the supportive girlfriend role for a little while so he can keep building his confidence up, but I literally couldn’t even get wet last night because choking on his dick was something I was just NOT in the mood for, but it happened.

I would hate to see my boyfriend lose this newfound confidence because I handle this poorly.

Venice’s response to throat fuck

Great question, easy answer.  Tell him, in a non sexual setting, that you are not interested in getting your tonsils beat up and stabbed each time you guys have sex.  Let him know that although you love it, doing it each time takes away the thrill.  Much like how he didn’t like missionary sex each time in his previous relationship, you don’t like being throat fucked each time.  It becomes less sexy and spontaneous, and more of a routine.   You don’t want your sex to become a routine.  This shouldn’t be that hard to understand, especially since you are using an analogy that compares to how he felt about missionary sex.

Trust me on this, when your boyfriend was 16, missionary sex, or even thinking about missionary sex, wasn’t boring.  Sex isn’t boring.  A routine is.   Do not make your sexual positions a routine.  

Good luck!

Ryan’s response to throat fuck

I really doubt your boyfriend will lose his confidence because you don’t want to be throat fucked every time you have sex.   Just let him know that it is sexy to change things up.  One day it should be soft and sensual.  The next day it should be quick and easy.  The next day it could be throat fucking until you vomit all over his lap and finishing him with a hand job that uses your vomit as lube.  

What Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum?

creative things to do with cumWhat Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum?

First of all, please check out our older article: 31 Days of Cum Shots.  If you go to the photo gallery every single day has a story.  I did various things with his cum, including letting him cum in my morning chai and sending him pictures throughout the day of me finishing him/my cup of chai.  That was definitely a fun and a  creative way to turn my husband on.  I believe there was another day where my husband came inside me and then took a spoon to scrape up the cum that spilled out of my vagina and spoon-fed me.  This was also amazing because it wasn’t just his cum, it was both of our bodies together.  Very intimate and fun.  Speaking of mixing body fluids, you could try a vagina cocktail.  


Sometimes I will hold his cum in my mouth and he will stick his dick back into my vagina and start fucking me again.  He is multi-orgasmic.  The whole time he fucks me, he is looking down at me while I play with his cum in my mouth. Exactly as he orgasms the second time I will open my mouth and let him see me swallow his first load…


 

For me, my man’s semen is like icing on the cake (or cookie), semi-literally speaking.  Every time we have sex, getting to see my husband orgasm is my goal. I work just as hard to make him cum (dirty talk, moving in sync with him, etc.) as he does to please me.  With that being said, I feel satisfied knowing that I’ve made his hot juices flow from his dick.  And that is such a turn on to me.

What I do to his cum doesn’t start when it comes out – it starts long before.  When his dick is in me, I cup his balls and rub under them and tell him, “Let me massage the cum out of your balls.”  I tease him.  I talk about his balls as if they’re also being fucked. What I do to his cum starts BEFORE the actual orgasm.

Sometimes I stick my finger inside his anus and rub his prostate.  If you haven’t tried this, try it!  Right before he ejaculates you can literally feel his whole prostate swell up and harden.  The cum stays inside this beautiful walnut inside his anus, and you can massage it the entire time he releases.  In fact, he will release much more cum when you do this.   And more cum means more to play with!


Sometimes he will ask me to keep his cum in my mouth as he heads out to work.  He will let me know he is going to call me once he is on the road and tell me when to swallow.  So when he calls, I can barely talk because his cum and my saliva have really built up…


 

creative things to do with cum

Try using his first cum shot as lube for anal!

But it doesn’t stop there.  After he cums, that is something entirely different.  If he cums in my vagina or ass, there isn’t much I can do with it except to tell him to unload every drop in me or say, “Empty your balls out inside me.”  There have been times where he will pull out as he is fucking me and cum on my anus.   He will then use his own semen as lube for anal sex and fuck me again.  This actually feels amazing because there is nothing close to using actual semen as lubrication.  It nearly takes away all friction and makes for an extremely pleasurable experience.

Sometimes he will just cum inside me and clean my insides with his tongue.  We will kiss afterwards and make out with our juices everywhere.  If he cums on me, I get to put on a show.  I love him watching me when I clean myself up.  I will scoop his cum off my body with my fingers and lick them clean as if I’m getting the last bit of angel food cake batter out from between my fingers.  As I lick, I will look him in the eyes and say “yum” with every slurp.  I like to reassure him that I love his taste and that his sperm is my favorite spice.  If he cums directly on my vagina, I’ll rub him into my labia and inner thighs.  When I am done, I will lick my fingers clean.  One of my favorite things to do to force him in my mouth so he doesn’t shoot all over the place and catch all of his cum in my mouth. I know this is simple, but nothing feels better than getting semen straight from a man’s dick. I don’t want any salt from my body, I want it pure.  Straight from the source.  That way nothing is wasted.  Before I actually swallow, l blow bubbles,  gargle, or slurp it between my lips so he can watch me play with him.

creative things to do with cumSometimes he will ask me to keep his cum in my mouth as he heads out to work.  He will let me know he is going to call me once he is on the road and tell me when to swallow.  So when he calls, I can barely talk because his cum and my saliva have really built up.  But it’s actually pretty sexy and intimate.  To know he is in my mouth and I am waiting for him to call me and tell me to swallow while he is driving to work.  You have to be creative.  Sometimes I will hold his cum in my mouth and he will stick his dick back into my vagina and start fucking me again.  The whole time he fucks me, he is looking down at me while I play with his cum in my mouth.  My  husband is multi-orgasmic.  Exactly as he orgasms the second time I will open my mouth and let him see me swallow his first load.  For me, it’s almost like being came in twice at the same time.  It’s very intimate and exotic because I can taste his load go down my throat as I feel his penis releasing another load inside my pussy.  As he orgasms, instead of his eyes rolling back or him losing focus, he is paying close attention to everything I am doing with his cum in my mouth and his load.  His second orgasm is purely based off the excitement of what I am doing to his first.  And if you do everything perfect, you may even get a third load in your ass, which we call a “triple threat.”  It’s a very fun and powerful feeling.  Imagine in a matter of seconds, swallowing a mouthful of cum as you feel a penis twitching inside your vagina.  Moments later, you feel your ass being stretched as he nearly dry heaves a third load into your body.  And when it’s all over, you hadn’t slept with three men or made a porn, you just satisfied the man of your dreams.  

Perfect.


Instead of swallowing, I let him look down in my cum filled mouth and stick his dick back down my throat.  In other words, his cum becomes my throat lube as he fucks my mouth for a second time.


creative things to do with cum

Just recently, I discovered a new kind of cum play that really drives my husband wild (The first time we ever did it is actually in the article previously mentioned, you can see the story here:  January 8, 2013 Cum Shot).  We start out face-fucking, and as you may or may not know, when a man cums and his dick is plunged deep into your throat, the semen goes straight down and you cannot taste or feel anything.  But here is the twist: instead of being all the way in me when he cums, he will pull out of my throat and fill my mouth up with his first huge cum shot.   Instead of swallowing, I let him look down in my cum filled mouth and stick his dick back down my throat.  In other words, his cum becomes my throat lube as he fucks my mouth a second time.  I absolutely do not swallow to make sure his whole cum shot covers his dick as he again fucks my throat.   After a few seconds, I can feel his  hard wet dick drive so deep in my throat his ball piercing and crotch grinds into my teeth.  This time, instead of pulling out, he unloads his second cumshot deep in my throat, I can feel his urethra pipe on the underside of his shaft twitching on my tongue and his balls spasming on my lips.  I can also watch as anus tighten and loosen with each release.  Afterwards, the semen from both the first and second orgasms are pushed down my slippery, well-lubed throat.  It can get sloppy from my spit, cum, and tears, but it’s extremely hot, submissive, and downright sexy!

There is so much more you can do with your man’s cum if you really wanted to go above and beyond.  Attitude is everything and a paid porn star eating her co-star’s cum off an ice cream  sandwich shouldn’t be able to out perform you.  Is money more powerful than love?  For me, it’s not.  I will proudly do anything with Ryan’s cum, including the most insane ideas I can come up with, like sniffing his whole cum shot off a mirror.  


Let him cum onto a mirror.  If you want to be cute, take a credit card and shape his ropes into a long line.  Glide your nose across the mirror and sniff his cum like he is a drug.  If you do it right, you can open your mouth when you are done and show him all the cum you just sniffed.  And then swallow him as well….


 

Other Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum

Cum popsicle or sperm ice cubes   

Simply ejaculate your man into a shot glass and add kool-aid or water to the glass.  Put a small toothpick through a small piece of paper that you lay on top of the shot glass (so it stays centered) and put the shot glass in the freezer.  After a few hours, you can either use the sperm ice cube in an adult drink and enjoy your man later, or let him use the ice cube on your nipples and vagina as foreplay the next time you want to spice things up.  If you want to get extremely creative, mix his cum with water and make an ice dildo. 

Cum Lube

Much like the previous idea, save his semen in the freezer so you can use it later.  Rather than leaving it ice, warm it up to use as lube.  No, his semen will not go bad.  There is nothing on earth that is a better lube than his semen.  It’s what all lubes try to emulate.  Whether it be for a night you plan anal, an intense vaginal session, or just a sexy hand job.  Or if you want to get real nasty, pour his warmed semen all over his penis and give him a blow job.  Much like my stories above, you can blow his mind tasting his cum the entire time his new orgasm builds.  If he is multi orgasmic, you can do this in a single sitting.  If he is not, simply have him cum into a shot glass and let him know you want to save it for later.  Trust me, he will let you.

Cum Shots

Great idea, especially if you both are already drinking and get a bit horny.   You can turn it into a game if you like.  If you can make him cum faster than 10 minutes, he has to take the shot.  If you can’t, you have to take it.  Either way, it’s fun.

Just go down on him and give him a blow job.  Make sure you have a shot glass handy.  When he is about to cum, stroke him off into the shot glass.  Add some rum and take the shot.  And that’s a whole other type of cum shot.

creative things to do with cumSniffing His Cum Off A Mirror Like A Drug

Let him cum onto a mirror.  If you want to be cute, take a credit card and  shape his ropes into a long line.  Glide your nose across the mirror and sniff his cum like he is a drug.  If you do it right, you can open your mouth when you are done and show him all the cum you just sniffed.  Yes, you can actually hack it up from the back of your throat back into your mouth.   And then swallow him.  For me, this clears my sinuses.  And surprisingly, no it doesn’t burn.  

Cum Cocktail / Sex Cocktail Inside Your Vagina

This one is a bit extreme, but we enjoy it.  We called it a sex cocktail because it deals with a lot more than just cum.  However, cum is an ingredient.   First you give each other oral sex.  Make sure you give him extremely sloppy head so his entire shaft has that deep saliva, that only comes up when you gag all over him.  This is your lube and a key ingredient to your sex cocktail.  He should also eat your pussy and make sure he digs his tongue up into your hole.  You also want to be as sloppy as possible.  You can also both spit on his during sex to make sure you have enough saliva ingredient inside you.  This is optional, but if you squirt or can control your urine, pee a little and let him do the same.  I will squirt throughout the session to make sure I add my flavor.  My husband has a bit of trouble peeing while erect, so he will stop and concentrate for a few moments and just fill me up with his urine.  At this point, it’s a mess.  He will then stick his dick back inside me and fuck me until we both cum.  At the end of the session, we should have double saliva, double urine, double cum, and my vagina totally full of all this flavor.  I will get up and we will 69 each other.  I get to taste myself on his dick, he gets to drink the cocktail out of my body. 

This isn’t everything you can do with a sex cocktail, but we will save the Bloody Mary version for a different day.  

Cum Seasoning

The taste of his cum on your meal will not ruin the flavor.  Depending on what you are eating, you won’t even be able to taste it. What it will do is elevate how much your man loves you and thinks about you.  Take a serving of his cum, throw it in with an ego, fry it.  Scrambled eggs and sperm.  Maybe even throw some ketchup on it if you want to get crazy!  

Don’t forget to ask him if he would like to try it himself.  

Even on his worse day, if you left him for whatever reason, he’d always remember this type of thing and know you were one of the wildest women he has ever been with.  Goals right?  For some of us ladies who actually do enjoy the flavor, it just makes our food better.  Win, win.

Coffee and Cream, A Long Day At Work and Selfies

I’ve used  my husband’s cum inside my coffee for cream a lot.  The catch here isn’t just that you worship his cum enough to enjoy it all throughout your work day, but you also send selfies of yourself drinking the coffee.  Your man loves watching you swallow him right?  So how about he watches you drink an entire coffee, for a span of 4 hours, slowly swallowing him and your morning coffee.   This is something we did as one of my 31 days of swallowing cum years ago.  But it was so fun I still do it every now and then just to tease him.

Sexy right?

Facetime

So all these cool things we have done with our cum in this blog but I haven’t even said one of the most basic ideas.  The classic facial.  Sexy huh?  Well, how about you save his cum one morning and store it however you like.  Whether it be plastic bag, a sippy cup, or whatever tickles your fantasy.  Later in the day, call your husband while he is at work on Facetime and give him some…well, face time.  Let him know you have his morning cum and let him watch you drip it down onto your face and mouth for him to watch.  Chances are, no woman has ever done anything like this for him in his life.  Well, be that woman.  

Ladies, this is about making memories.  Do you think he will ever forget the time you called him at work over Facetime and gave yourself a facial with his morning cum 8 hours later?  Of course he won’t.  Imagine the possibilities of a long distance relationship and saving his cum during a visit, so when back home you can turn him on again, while also enjoying him when you miss him the most.  

If you want to be even more creative, there are a lot of new toys where you can play with each other long distance.  Most of these toys use your phone to function.   So while he uses his phone to make your vibrator vibrate to his touch, wouldn’t it be nice to have some of his cum saved to use as lube/drip on your lips/swallow while he watches you cum for him over Facetime?  

Originally Published on: Sep 12, 2013 

 

Q&A: My Girlfriend Makes Jokes About My Penis Size

Q&A: My Girlfriend Makes Jokes About My Penis Size

Initially she used to poke fun at my size, and I was not quite bothered with it, I used to take it in good vein. But it continued (the joking as such as not probably increased, but it is consistent) and now somewhere I have begun to feel insecure about my size, and if she is happy or satisfied with me.

I have talked to her, she said, they’re just jokes, and I believe her also. But the bug of insecurity in my head has already crept in.

Is she just being polite in not confronting me if my size bothers her?

Should I again talk to her? But what will I say ? She will again say they’re just jokes.

Or should I “not laugh” or “not support” her jokes or even object to them outright (honestly this seems pretty rude to me though)?

This seems so trivial, I don’t know what to say or even take an offence on it, or ignore it, or what it she’s really unsatisfied!?

Venice’s response to penis size

I would suggest having an open discussion with her and letting her know these jokes are making you feel insecure.  Once you have told her, do not laugh or support her jokes.  You not laughing is just as rude as her saying a joke you have told her makes you feel insecure.  

Personally, I would never say any joke about my husband that isn’t body positive.  If he gets upset at something I might tease him like,  “Well at least you have a big dick.”   Or if he moves something heavy that I can’t move I act impressed and say, “Dang, all that big dick energy.”    I definitely wouldn’t tease him about anything negative.  The same as if he teased me and said, “Oh that fish smells like your vagina!”  Or, “This shirt is so loose if feels like your vagina!”   I definitely wouldn’t laugh.  Even if it was a joke or teasing me, I do not want to hear negative jokes about my body.  I don’t think its silly to talk to your partner and let them know, these types of jokes just aren’t funny to you.

Ryan’s response to penis size

Whether a woman considers me small, average, or large, any joke about my penis better be about it being too large.  Yes, I am that petty.  I don’t care if my penis was 3 inches erect, any joke better be body positive.  Personally I am not attracted to a person who is insensitive to others’ feelings, especially something as sensitive as a man’s penis.  And as the old saying goes, treat people the way you like to be treated.  Personally, I couldn’t imagine myself saying a mean joke to a person about their body, especially if I knew it could possibly hurt their feelings, and they aren’t being mean to me.

We’ve had various women in our group expose their breasts drunk, playing around, or just getting a bit wild.  And sometimes, because alcohol is involved, the group may tease the person (just an example), “Girl those things are getting saggy!”   No matter the mood,  I personally do not jump in on those jokes.  Whether it’s teasing or playful, I don’t find it funny to tease a person about their body.  

With that said, talk to your girlfriend about her jokes and let her know you no longer find them funny.  I assume she will understand and let it go.  If she continues to say jokes, either don’t laugh, let her know it wasn’t funny, or ask her how she’d feel if you said her vagina was huge?   I’m pretty sure she will understand size jokes aren’t very funny when you respond teasing her about the size of her vagina.

Q&A: I feel terrible after joining my friend and his girlfriend in a threesome. What should I do?

feel terrible after threesomeSo my friend and his girl have been continuously asking me to join them in a threesome after a night out at the bar. At first I didn’t think it would be a good idea but they kept asking and I finally said yes. We just set out the rules that I wouldn’t cum anywhere on or in my friend’s girl which I was completely fine with but everything else they said I can feel comfortable doing.

Fast forward to the time we started. We were all a little drunk and it was just a great vibe. As time went on, we changed positions multiple times and it was all going good. But something happened and my friend just wasn’t into it. I think they could sense that I was unsure so they both kept telling me to keep fucking her. I was honestly planning on stopping but she was practically begging me to keep going.  My friend left the room for a little bit, unsure why.  A couple minutes later my friend comes back in the room and it seemed like he couldn’t get hard again. I was noticing all of this while fucking her in doggy which was amazing.

This is where the problem starts. I’m more of the dominant person in sex and I know his girl was digging that. I was kind of controlling her and telling her what to do next.  The alpha.  Also I don’t mean to say this in any cocky or weird way but I’m just the bigger guy there being 6’3 and about 7 inches, while my friend is around 5’9 and relatively about 4 inches. I’m only giving this information because it seems like this was the downfall of the situation. During this threesome I felt his girl was feeling me more and was only paying attention to me, but I didn’t notice this at the time. So as I noticed him not getting hard while fucking her in doggy, something clicked to my brain and I just started fucking her pretty rough (which she was encouraging me to do). In the side of my head I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t stop. Me and my friend’s girl then switched to missionary and after that I ended up finishing in her.

After that I just felt terrible. I didn’t even want to do that but realized after what I did and I feel sick. I apologized to both of them after and it seemed like the girl was the only one ok with it. I feel what went wrong is that my friend got discouraged when he saw me be there dominant one with his girl which left him not feeling it. I realized this a little while having sex but I didn’t fully see it. This encounter essentially turned into him watching me fuck his girl pretty rough (which is what she asked for).

What do I do now I feel like I will never have him as a friend anymore?

Venice’s response to feel terrible after a threesome

Sounds like another horrible threesome experience from a couple that wasn’t ready, and a friend that was too horny to control himself.

In all honestly, you sound like a horrible friend.  The only hard boundary they had and you broke it.  You saw all the negative signs from him, yet ignored them.  You could have had sex with her, been rough, told her where to move, what position, and done anything you liked, but just simply not cum in her or on her.  

You should feel terrible, you are a terrible friend.  

Ryan’s response to feel terrible after a threesome

I wouldn’t consider you a friend at all.  Your version of this story seems like how it would read from a narcissist’s perspective, who happens to be a horrible lover.  A man so anxious to get pussy, he couldn’t even follow a simple rule and control himself.  Like an incel. The worst type of lover.  Mentioning your friend’s dick size and his height, as if because of that you think he felt inadequate.   He knew about your height prior correct?  Did you walk around on your knees and pretend to be 5’7 until you got naked with them?  Maybe it wasn’t your size, since one can assume a guy with “4 inches” already knows he is on the lower scale of sizes.  Maybe he just wasn’t as excited as he thought he would be seeing a man fuck his girl. 

I am sure you caused a lot of issues in their relationship, but you aren’t totally to blame.  Obviously he wasn’t prepared to have a threesome and didn’t take into consideration that asking a man to join them in bed, doesn’t mean the man will be the passive sex doll that does everything how they want.  Instead they got a horny guy that couldn’t control himself or hold his load properly.   Dumb decisions all the way around.  Good luck with your “friendship”.