My Nude Photos and Anal Plug Fixed My Garage!

plug-001My Nude Photos and Anal Plug Fixed My Garage!

It’s no secret. Everyday, I spend my morning with my husband. We  take time every morning so that we can start our day off  sexually charged and be on each other’s minds throughout the day.
 
Today, however,  I decided to do something a little unexpected. As I headed out today, after our morning time together, my husband asked me to open the garage for him. For us, it’s not as simple as pressing a button and the garage opens on its own. No! Because of a faulty spring, someone has to press the button while another person has to manually lift a 300 lb garage door, or else it will fall and slam onto the ground. It halfway works, but it has to be nudged along.  

So today, as I was getting dressed for work, my husband asked me to press the button. I wasn’t ready because I wanted to surprise him by putting in my butt plug that I hadn’t worn in years. I thought it would be as simple as taking it out of my drawer and inserting it without him knowing because he was already on his way out the door.
 
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.  He was impatient and standing in the garage yelling at the top of his lungs, “Help me! I’m waiting! What are you doing?!   Venice?!” 

I yelled from inside the bedroom, “Hold on! I’m coming!  Give me a second!” 

To which he responds, “What are you doing?!  Why is it taking you so long to come here and press the damn button!”  As he is yelling this, I am holding my little silver butt plug in my hand and dipping it into my coconut oil for easier insertion. Suddenly, Ryan walks into the bedroom, stomping his way across the hallway and says, “When I ask for your help, I expect you to come and help!”   I’m still giddy and laughing on the inside because all I want to do is put this damn thing in my ass and get to work.

Eventually I get the plug in and help him get the garage up (the button pusher to the rescue).  I get to work a few minutes early.  At about 8:02 a.m. I’ve got a gallery of pictures on my phone of me bent over, ass cheeks spread, anal plug showing.  I greet Ryan on text and say, “Hey what are you doing?”

He responded, “Just getting to work.”

I responded, “Do you want to play a game?  The game is called ‘Guess where I want you to cum in me tonight?”  I then sent him about 8 or 9 pictures, my face, breasts, ass, and of course, the last pictures being me wearing the anal plug.  All I can do is smile as I’m looking at my phone watching each picture slowly load and send.   I then add, “This is what I was doing while you were yelling at me to help you in the garage.”  

About three and a half minutes later, Ryan tells me that my pictures cost us about $195. When I asked him why, he said that he shouldn’t have been so impatient and seeing those pictures of me wearing the anal plug made him realize that fixing the garage door was now a priority.  He felt  having a good morning was more important than him yelling at me to come help him push a button.   It just took a simple anal plug.

So as I’m writing this, Ryan is at home watching the garage door get fixed. And now I’m thinking…what can I do to get a patio installed?

Dirty Talk: Lesbian Play with a BBW / Big Black Woman, My Co Worker

The Dirty Talk Intro & Disclaimer:  Everything in the story below was random and created on the spot while massaging my husband.  No filters, no rules, no boundaries, just a story and situation created to help my husband orgasm and enjoy my experience.  All dirty talk is usually pure fantasy.  I use this dirty talk as mental porn while my husband’s mind is totally open because of the sensations and what I am putting his body through.  When a man is horny and on the edge of an orgasm, anything goes.  I can almost get inside his head and control his fantasies, dirty thoughts, and talk him into an orgasm in the exact moment my story hits it’s climax.  It may be things I would never try or want to try, but just so kinky it pushes him to climax.  Or just things in the future we would try, but it has to be right.  During my stories he will ask me questions while I talk.  I will include these to the best of my memory.  In fact, every story is to the best of my memory, as I do not know remember all the exact details.   

The stories may read a bit broken or short, but please keep in mind this is things I mumble while stroking my husband, slight details, turning myself on as I rub his dick until he cums in my mouth.

Dirty Talk: Lesbian Play with a BBW / Big Black Woman, My Co Worker

I lay my husband down in bed and we talk for about 10 to 20 minutes while I rub his penis.  This is a routine for us, so it will eventually lead to dirty talk and me giving him a massage.  It’s after work, so this is a good release for him, and a good time for me to have him wrapped around my finger for the rest of the night. 

I am actually dressed up in lingerie because we were supposed to do a photo shoot as I massaged him.  Somewhere along the lines, our plans changed and we decided to go over a story I once told him about wanting to fuck a female co-worker that was always nice to me. Truth be told, any woman that treats me kindly, regardless of physical attraction, I find myself wanting to explore her.  That’s just the truth.  I care more about a woman that treat me nicely, than the typical Barbie characteristics.

My co-worker’s name is Cherice.  She is a thick black woman that smells and dresses nicely.  She is always smiling and she is extremely friendly.  This is the type of woman I’d love to explore. She is also a perfect for a story to make my husband orgasm.  

so how did flirt with her?

I just asked her if she would like to have lunch.  Although I have lunch with various co-workers, I had never asked her before.  She smiled and said sure.  I offered to pay.  She let me know that since I was paying we will take her car. 

As we are driving to the restaurant, I start fanning my Barbie doll dress to get air up my crotch and thighs.  She asks me if I am hot.  I nod and continue to fan, exposing most of my thighs to her.  I assume, my perfume and body spray aroma is spreading throughout the car.  The air is literally blowing into my crotch, up my neck hole, and out into the air she is breathing. I can see her watching my legs and glancing up at me to see if I mind her looking.  I don’t.

what do you do?

I just smile.

what are you guys wearing?

We are both in skirts, hers longer than mine.  I am in a Barbie doll dress.  She is in a longer skirt with long sleeves.  But it still hugs her body.

do you make a move on her?

Yes, I compliment her legs while she is driving and reach over and touch her leg.  Innocently, I slightly push her skirt up and rub her leg.  I let her know her legs feel so smooth.

what does she do?

She is nervous.  But she doesn’t move or respond negatively so I continue to slide my hand up her leg.  I can see her squeezing the steering wheel.  I can tell she doesn’t know what I am doing, but doesn’t want me to stop.   I continue to lift her dress as I slide my hand up her inner thigh.  She gasps as I get to her panties.  She still hasn’t said a word to me.  I am now rubbing her crotch, careful as to make sure she doesn’t want me to stop.

how do you know?

I am watching her face and eyes.  She is turned on but doesn’t know how to react appropriately.  I may be the first girl that has ever touched her.

Her legs are thick so I can’t get down to deep in her lip area, so I instead rub her pubic air, maybe around her clit area.  I am doing this over her panties, so the feeling of the thick cotton in the crotch keeps me from feeling too much.  

As I work my hand deeper down her thighs, I can feel the warmth.  Her crotch is also starting to lather. I can feel she is starting to get leak through through her panties.  

do you work your hand inside her panties?

No.  I take my hand away from her crotch to see where her head is at.  I slide my dress up so she can see my panties. 

what color are they?

They are pink. 

She looks over but still doesn’t say anything.  I rub my own pussy and am soaking wet.  I slide my panties down off my hips so I can show her the inner crotch of my panties.  They are actually soaking wet.

did I fuck you or cum in your mouth before work that morning?

You fucked me.

so your panties also have my old cum?

Yes, I am leaking your cum from the morning and my own juices from being so turned on by being able to touch her vagina. 

As we pull back up to the office, I slide my soaking panties off and put them in my purse.  As we walk back to the office, we don’t say anything.  We wait in front of the elevator, holding our salads.  As the elevator door closes behind us, she slowly reaches over and touches my ass. 

does she put her hand up your skirt?

No.  She doesn’t lift my skirt, she just rubs my ass to let me know she wants more.

We get into my office and I close my door.  I lay her down on my floor and pull her panties down.  She is so moist.  I start eating her out.

wait…

What? 

not so fast

I just want to eat her out.

Tell me about her first.  What does her pussy look like?

Her pussy has about a weeks worth of hair, so its trimmed but you can see growth.  Her pussy lips are thick and dark, much darker than her actual skin.  Her crotch smells like warmth, a long day, and sweat.  Not her insides, but just around her crotch.  She is thick and her body has more of an odor than mine, but it really turns me on.  I slide my tongue over her lips.  

does eating pussy turn you on more than getting your pussy ate?

Yes.  I love going down on a woman.

why?

I like to see what a woman smells like, what her vagina looks like, what she smells like.  What she tastes like.  

are you happy experiencing all this with her?

I love it.  Her pussy is so good.  She is so nice to me.  I am so glad I get to please her. 

I tease her rubbing my tongue over her clit and lips.  She is moaning and I can tell she wants me to stick my tongue inside her.  She wants to feel me taste her.  I push my tongue in her as far as I can, she gasps and moans.  I taste all of her insides.

I then move my mouth up to her clit, happy with tasting her enough to satisfy my curious urges.  I suck on her clit as I stick the tip of my finger in her hole.  I can tell she wants me to fuck her.  

how can you tell?

At this point, I am stroking my husband hard.  I make sure my hands get tight as I get closer to knowing I am going to make her cum.  He is asking me questions, but his mumbles are getting quieter and I can I am in his head, creating the imagery her is going cum too.

It’s just something about the way she is moving her body down onto my hand.  She wants me to shove my fingers inside her.  I oblige and go deep enough to feel for her cervix.  I feel her little bump inside her and circle my finger around her cervix.  I lick and suck her clit and can tell she is about to cum.  Her vagina tightens around my finger and she raises her body off the ground.  She bites her lip and holds her breath.  Because we are in the office, she doesn’t make a sound.  But I can see her veins in her neck protruding as she strains from her orgasm.  I can feel her body and lips spasming.   She came so fast.  She must not have had her pussy ate out in months, maybe even years.  She was so ready.

do you want to pull up her panties and let her leave?

No, I want my pussy ate.  

He is so close to cumming he wanted to cum but didn’t know if I wanted to go deeper into my story, so he could cum with me.  I can tell by his erection, he is on edge and can barely hold back.

okay, tell me more…

I tell her I want her to eat my pussy.  She tells me she has never ate a pussy or seen another woman nude.  I lift my dress up and put my pussy over her face.  I can tell she loves seeing another woman’s vagina.  She touches it in a way she just wants to feel the texture.  It’s too bad I am so wet, because as she touches it, I can see my sticky froth drip down onto her face.   I have a line of clear froth and your old cum stuck from my labia, to the side of her cheek.   She starts rubbing my pussy  harder and puts her mouth up to my body….

At this point, my story stops.  My husband is now cumming.  He reaches up to grab my head and puts my mouth over his penis.  I can fee his aggression as he holds me down on his dick until he is done shooting inside me.  Usually when I am done I will lean back and open my mouth so he can see his cum in my mouth. I will then play with his cum while he watches before I swallow.  However, today he quickly asks me if I wanted to cum.  I swallow and nod yes.  My orgasms are not necessary, but after a dirty story, I usually always need to release.  He knows this.  I nod and let him know I would like to cum.  I grab my toy and lay off to the side of him.  His dick isn’t totally erect anymore, but it’s still hard enough to slide inside my body.  This is when his dick is at its thickest and stretches me the most. I grab my wand and put it against my pussy.  My husband whispers, “Do you love pussy more than you love dick?”

I nod.  I do.  I love pussy more than I love dick.  But I love him more than I love pussy.


 

For other couples, it’s totally okay to dive into things you may never want to really experience, with your minds.  We read this a lot on relationship forums.  Sometimes it creates mixed signals, sometimes it creates insecurities.  So talk to your partner, let them know a fantasy is just a fantasy, and assure them it will never go beyond that.  This will help everyone open up and dig into their heads further than they ever have.  Or at least out loud.

How Twitter And Blogging Led To Us Becoming Webcam Models

webcam modelHow Twitter And Blogging Led To Us Becoming Webcam Models

Let’s be honest, the term webcam models is a nice way of saying, Amateur Smut Peddlers.  The 360×480 Low Quality Shove a Dildo in Your Ass While the Sound of Coins Bling in the Chatroom Couple. The Blurry and Pixelated Porn Stars….

Okay, let me stop.  Just know, we were around in the wild wild web, when you had to download AVI files at 600 MB, for a 1 minute clip of an amateur couple fucking.  High quality wasn’t a thing, neither was streaming in 1060 HD. Marijuana may be the gateway drug, but Twitter and sex blogging for naughty exhibitionist couples is the gateway to becoming amateur porn stars.  

The Low Down on The Webcam Model Lifestyle

And as the good bloggers we are, we will help lead the way for the new up and cumming couples that have recently shared nude photos for the first time and accidentally found this blog.  Even better, we have found a site that has done all the hard work for us and compiled a list of the best cam sites to turn your stranded at home, touching yourself during the quarantine, possibly unemployed, beautiful ass, into an amateur webcam model.  For us, we personally didn’t need any of the reasons above, we just became webcam models because it felt naughty and made our sex better.  That’s it.  We loved the new attention we got while blogging.  We loved the likes and retweets on Twitter. 

I can still remember the first time we posted a video and got a million views in a matter of days from a close up of me with a mask on, deepthroating my husband.  A million people wanted to see me suck my husband’s dick with a mask on?   And like those before us, we knew how Heather Harmon and her husband felt.

The attention is Intoxicating.

Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems.

The most money we made in this business was through performing as webcam models.  The least money we have made?  This blog.   Funny huh?

Although we have put on plenty of free webcam shows with no options to donate, eventually we did jump into the professional world of being webcam models.  For the experience, for the attention, for the feeling of being fuck bots for those that pay us money to request how I take my husband’s cum shot.   It was neat, like Pay -Per-View sex on demand.  For us, although the coin chiming sound became the soundtrack to our orgasms, we eventually decided to keep our content more controlled.   We weren’t Barbie and Ken and live sex is unforgiving on our bodies and egos.

We Dare You To Find Our Live Webcam Clips

Eventually we “retired” and thankfully have never been able to find the clips from our live days floating around.    Not because of the embarrassment we were naked and having sex, but more the embarrassment of how bad we probably looked naked and having sex LIVE.  With that said, we still openly challenge anyone to find live clips of us!  The only clips we have found floating around, are the clips we uploaded and edited (that a lot of other sites have snagged or anonymous users have reuploaded), that we purposely released to get that type of attention.   And truthfully, for those thinking of becoming webcam models, this is a good thing.  There are so many couples from all over the world streaming 24 hours a day on webcam sites, that your footage being saved is almost non existent.  Although we like to think of ourselves as unique snowflakes, our vaginas and dicks just aren’t that special!  Chances of amateur webcam footage going viral these days?  Almost none. 

Your Secrets Are Save With We

The dangers of “being nude online will stick with you forever” are pretty much over.  You will be more haunted from your past mistake of giving that ex-boyfriend a nude, than performing on live webcam.   The fact you are anonymous and there are so many other models banking coin doing the same thing, keeps you pretty safe.   On most sites, you can even block specific states from viewing your live stream if you wanted (so the locals won’t recognize or find you).  Unlike the 90s, when every perv had a screen capture recording, it just doesn’t seem to be a thing anymore.  It doesn’t go viral, DMCA takedowns work quick, and unless you are doing something so different from the rest of the world, it just won’t get noticed or attention in recorded format.  

webcam sexUs Moving on from Amateur Webcams

Although our sex blog and social media like Twitter led us into the webcam model world,  we didn’t stick around long.  The money was good, but for us, we preferred the blogging format.  Over time our bodies changed, jobs changed, and blog changed.   Originally it was all about step by step instructionals on how to deepthroat.   And since we blogged about it, we figured it only made sense to verify with videos.   But later our blog got more in depth with our lives, every day relationship advice, questions and answers, and less about teaching women to deepthroat or sniff cum like it’s a drug.  Although sex will always be a huge part of this blog because it keeps our intimacy active, through things like our erotic photo shoots or our naughty selfies.

However, we do apologize for all those that now visit our amateur webpage with promises of videos going along with our blogs only to be met with the dreaded [DELETED].   I guess the power of never being popular and making mediocre quality videos is… when they disappear, no one notices!  They used to tell us, “Don’t upload your sex videos because it’s online forever!”  Not anymore!  Your porn isn’t online forever if you aren’t deepthroating a dildo the size of your entire arm. Not these days.  

In hindsight, being an amateur webcam couple was a fun experience.  But we were doing that type of thing when it had so much negative stigma to it.  The idea that bad decisions haunt you forever was constantly in the back of our minds. It isn’t until you decide that sex isn’t bad or something you should be ashamed of that the stigma disappears.  Especially as a couple that is married or in a very committed relationship.  As we get older, we now think, “Dang, where is that old video where we looked so damn hot!  Why didn’t anyone save it!”  More and more webcam models and social media kinksters are asking their followers for old photos of themselves!  Not only do these things not haunt us, we regret not saving them ourselves.  I have found videos of us uploaded to random sites (not by us) years ago and redownloaded them to archive!  

The Pushback -The Untalked About Mechanism Used To Create Better Orgasms For Men

The Pushback – The Untalked About Mechanism Used To Create Better Orgasms For Men

The Pushback is a descriptive word that can possibly help you understand the mechanics behind sex and the male orgasm that hasn’t really been discussed before.  And what’s really cool, just understanding The Pushback can possibly help you give you and your partners better orgasms.  So let’s get into the important stuff shall we?

A great example of the mechanisms in action during a man’s orgasm.  The area spasming is the perineum (also known as the guiche/taint).   This is also the base of the penis (under the balls towards the anus) where the prostate is located.

 

The Pushback, The Mechanism Behind A Man’s Best Orgasm

Fellas, you can make your orgasms much better if you know what exactly is causing them.  Let’s start with a simple example so we can all be on the same page.  Ladies you can follow along too! Make a cylinder with your hand and gently put it around your thumb.  Now move your thumb slowly in and out.  You will feel a slight tickle sensation across your thumb’s surface area.  You will also feel that you have a good sense of all the various textures and ridges in your hand. Now, do the same thing except squeeze your hand tighter around your thumb.  As you move in and out, you will notice that you actually feel less detail of the hand because of the pressure surrounding the thumb as a whole.  However, you can feel the resistance and it is obviously much tighter.  Now ask yourself, why does a tight vagina or anus feel so much better than a loose one?   First, your penis isn’t your thumb.  It is much more sensitive and has very sensitive nerve endings at the tip of the head and frenulum area.  The tight sensation around your penis also creates much more friction as it  rubs through a woman’s walls.  The idea of friction makes immediate sense, because if it’s tighter, it creates more friction and that just better around our penises right?  So this is why tight pussy feels better?

Not so fast… Sex Secrets Slowed Down

There is more.  Go back to putting your hand around your thumb and squeezing.  As you move in and out, I want you to pay attention to the knuckle at the base of your thumb.  In fact, you can actually visually watch your knuckle respond to the motion as you move your thumb in and out of the hand.   The tighter you squeeze, the more resistance, the more you will see that thumb knuckle move around the base of your thumb.  That is what we call “The Pushback.”  And that knuckle in comparison to your penis, is your prostate.  

If you are following along, I feel like this is the moment the light bulb goes off in your head and you have just been awoken.   It’s that simple.  Something that has never been put into words or talked about, makes all the sense in the world when you finally hear it.   Let me let you take your time to register that example for a second. The  untold Sex Secrets.

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The Great Hand Job Heist

The Great Hand Job Heist

In searching Google with hand jobs on my mind, I wanted reaffirmation that I wasn’t alone in loving a great massage with a happy ending.  I googled, “Why do hand jobs feel so good?”  Don’t ask me why, but I did.  To my surprise, I found out that most people do not agree.  Not only that, the search results instead pulled off a great heist. Rather than me finding out why hand jobs feel so good, I found out why they feel so bad!  Hence the title:  The Great Hand Job Heist.  

A poll taken by Cosmopolitan shows 18 different opinions about how men feel about hand jobs.  The results were shocking at first, but once age is taken into account, it all makes sense.  It’s safe to assume that most of them have never felt a real hand job / massage.  It’s also safe to assume a few of them have never been in relationship long enough that anything except actual vaginal sex satisfies them. 

At least, that’s my take.   As a couple that has started our 3rd decade of marriage, hand jobs have been the savior.  


If it wasn’t for hand jobs, my vagina, ass, and even mouth would literally be shredded beef.   A girl needs this option and should learn how to do it so good that her man can’t help but to request it.  Trust me.  From the talking, to the finish, you can make a hand job the top of his list.    – Venice


The Cosmopolitan Opinions:

1. “It’s like eating a fast-food hamburger. You can grill one at home and it tastes amazing. Or you can get in your car, drive 15 minutes, wait in a drive-through line, and get a way worse hamburger. Like, it tastes awful and you know you could’ve done a better job yourself.” —Jeff, 24
 
2. “Like a vagina, but worse.” —Eric, 25
 
3. “There’s no novelty to it. I can reach my own penis with my hand no problem, but I can’t suck my own dick … so I think blow jobs would always be more desirable. Maybe that would be different if men had stubby arms.” —Shaun, 25
 
4. “LOL.” —Josh, 25
 
5. “You know that saying ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all’? Hand jobs are the sex equivalent of that.” —Zack, 24
 
 
6. “It feels like you’re touching yourself but your hand fell asleep and so you’re fumbling with your penis awkwardly.” —Kyle, 23
 
7. “Once in college, I got one that actively hurt. And my penis was all red and swollen the next day, and I went to Student Care, and they told me it was friction burn. So it feels like friction burn on your dick.” —Ken, 29
 
8. “A hand job feels like jerking off but it’s better because it’s not your hand.” —Jose, 30
 
9. “I would never expect a girl to excel at it, because that’s weird and would probably make me wonder why and how they’re so good at it, but they’re usually painfully bad.” —Pete, 25

When I first copied these responses, I actually laughed at a few of them.  Not because they were wrong, but because they were funny.  I also thought that I was going to add responses to each opinion, but chose not to because the flow of negativity was too good. It makes much more sense to just let it all out. What I do notice though, is that the older the person is, the less harsh they seem towards the idea of hand jobs.  

For example:

10. “I don’t think this is easy to answer unless we establish if there’s some kind of lubrication or not. A lubeless hand job? It’s almost guaranteed to be awful. Either the grip is too hard, or too loose, or the rhythm is off, or some kind of combination thereof. The stars have to align perfectly for a lubeless hand job to work. A lubed-up hand job can basically feel like a blow job, so … much, much better.” —Kevin, 28

Number 10 is pretty accurate.  For me, when I think of hand job, it wouldn’t cross my mind that some hand jobs are done without lube.  Much like it wouldn’t cross my mind if someone asked about anal sex, it would be without lube.  In my opinion, the two go hand and hand (pun). You wouldn’t give someone a serious hand job without lube of some sort.  Saliva, coconut oil, something.

Can you imagine Cosmopolitan making a poll about anal sex (assuming no lube is being used):

1. Anal is like the orphan child of sex.  It’s everything the vagina isn’t.  It really burns and the one time I tried it I ended up in the ER the next day because of wounds to my penis.

2. If you could imagine a vagina in a desert with sand for miles upon miles.  That would be a woman’s anus.  Now imagine sticking your penis inside of those sand dunes and enjoying  yourself. 

3. I could shove my penis into sandpaper and get a better sensation.  It’s like the vagina except extremely painful.

4.  We both ended up in the hospital that night.  Not good.

5. Are we talking about lubeless anal, or anal with lube?  

That’s pretty much how this entire article goes.  Although I do not want to attack Cosmopolitan, the article does shows the miseducation of those asking and answering the question.  It should have been clarified, in our opinion.  Because to ask about hand jobs without lube, is equivalent to asking about anal without lube.  Or even having sex with a vagina when the girl isn’t turned on or lubricated properly.  And this is the number 1 search result when asking “How do hand jobs feel?”  

The Great Hand Job Heist.  For entertainment purposes, let’s continue.

11. “I dunno. It’s just … I have hands. I can do that.” —Jared, 22

12. “I don’t remember the first time I ever masturbated, but I imagine every hand job is pretty much on par with that experience. Except I don’t freak out when I come.” —Ryan, 25
 
13. “I was never a fan of the ‘old-fashioned’ until recently. It’s usually slow and awkward and doesn’t feel all that wonderful. But it feels like ecstasy when done correctly. A complete detachment from my thoughts and concentrating on the physical senses that overcome my body and mind.” —Matt, 28
 
14. “Hand jobs? I don’t know. I’m not 14.” —Keith, 25

Number 14 is interesting…because he is right.  A hand job may be something you enjoy at 14, then quit enjoying in your 20s.  For the straight man, the vagina takes over as the most important thing on earth.  Oral sex is always a close second.  Anal is attempted a few times, but you both agree that’s on special occasions.  However, in your late 30s and 40s, the full experience becomes more important. The vagina is no longer the holy grail, but just one of the things that make women the most amazing creatures on earth.   

15. “It’s like having surf and turf on the menu and then you order the chicken fingers.” —Vince, 28
 
16.  “I have to be real here … I was a late bloomer, so I think I skipped the whole period where everyone was getting hand jobs. By the time I had any luck with the ladies, you were probably just having sex. But I got a hand job once and … I never had any interest in getting another. It wasn’t bad, it was just OK. I think that says it all. —Colin, 24
 
17. “OK, I know people probably shit all over hand jobs, but if someone knows how to do it, they can be really good. You have to use lotion, though, and unlike a blow job, she can suck on your nipples at the same time. Every guy should try that once. ” —Evan, 28
 
18. “Hand jobs are a consolation prize. I have never had a hand job that didn’t feel like, ‘Oh, I’m not in the mood for intercourse, but here, take this. Thanks for playing.’ I don’t think hand jobs are bad, I just think it’s tough to enjoy them when you know things could’ve gone a whole lot better.” —Jeff, 26

These last responses really aren’t that bad.  For the most part, the older the person answering, the more they understand it really is about how well the hand job is being done.  You can’t ask a 22 year old how a hand job feels.  He has had so little experience in his life, so little vagina in his life, that anything other than a vagina or mouth would be a let down.  However, you ask a man that has had his share of vagina, especially those of us in relationships where sex isn’t rationed, a hand job is just as good as anything a woman can offer.   Especially when she knows what she is doing.

What A Hand Job Should Feel Like

For us, we have been intimate twice a day, for the last 7 years.   Probably longer, but clearly our article written in 2013 shows how long we have been practicing The Circle. Back then it helped our relationship grow to another level, and continues to help us bond each day.  It’s the type of connection that keeps us as one unit, rather than separate people that use each other for their own pleasure.  True soulmates, if you believe in that.  However, it has also given us reason to find other ways to be intimate besides sticking my penis inside of her vagina and digging for gold.  


You can totally get into his head while stroking him.  Unlike sex, oral sex, or kissing (making out), you can actually talk in detail. Your words and thoughts can take over his experience.  From scenarios that may never happen, to outrageous fantasies that break all your boundaries, to just telling him how much you want to taste his cum.  Or how much you love holding his dick.  There are times I will go into detail about how beautiful the colors of his dick are, how perfect his swollen head looks, to talking about every turn and curve his veins make in his shaft and how much I love looking at them.  This is the type of talk that a woman just can’t do while she is being fucked or sucking his dick. – Venice


The things we can’t do properly during sex, kissing, and oral:

Talking.  In fact, a lot of times during oral talking is the last thing we want to hear.  “Just be quiet and let me just hear that beautiful slurping sound.”  I know if I try to talk while going down on my wife, she will reach down and pull my head more into her vagina. This is her way of saying, “Please shut the fuck up” as nicely as possible.

There is an unspoken (pun) 6 word rule.   During sex or oral.

“I love you so fucking much.”

“Please cum in me.”

“Your dick is so fucking big.”

“Fuck it hurts so bad.”

“Your pussy is so fucking tight.”

“It’s so fucking wet.”

“Where do you want my cum?”

“Who’s your daddy?”

“Look at me while you suck.”

“Suck on my lips.”

“Fuck me with your tongue.”

And the list goes on and on.  Although dirty talk is fun, you are a bit limited because of what you are doing.  Whether it be sucking, fucking, or kissing.  You may dirty talk between transitions, but for the most part your actions are much louder than words.  And there is nothing wrong with that.

What you can do the entire time during a hand job:

Talking.

 A hand job is more than just 6 words.  A good hand job can be filled with entire stories of various adventures you both can come up with.  Not only can you talk, because you are relaxed and totally caught in the moment, but the person giving you the hand job can talk as well.  Whether about how much she loves your dick, how it feels, how much she can’t wait to see you cum, or sexy stories about the things you have done, may do, or may never do.  No real rules when it comes to fantasies. 

Some of the comparisons about hand jobs being another form of masturbation is correct.  However, why the hell is masturbation a bad thing?   Masturbation can be amazing, if you know what you are doing.  Edging, dirty thoughts, and controlling how long you release your oxytocin.  A lot of times men will masturbate nearly twice as long as they have actual intercourse.  They edge themselves to make sure they have a huge release.  When done right, masturbation is amazing.  In fact, it has been talked about by various women that their men will leave them asleep (or turn down sex) and later get caught masturbating. This is extremely common.  Why?  Because you can use your mind, your fantasies, and even think about all the skeletons in your closet while watching a porn video.

Now imagine having a person that you can open up with and experience  your deepest darkest thoughts and fantasies together.