Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

 

Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Prior to our relationship, he had been in a committed relationship for basically all of his adult life, whereas I have been in numerous shorter-term relationships. He tells me ex was not adventurous in bed – basically only missionary sex, literally nothing else. I’m much more open minded and experienced with other types of sex and enjoy some kinkier things. However, I’ve never pushed any of this on him because he never seemed comfortable with it (for example, early on in the relationship, I pulled his hair during sex and he told me after not to be so rough) and I’m otherwise very happy with our sex life.

My man caught a nice buzz one night recently and a whole new side of him emerged. He threw me around, held me down, choked me – generally played the dominator role and I was REALLY into it. I came super fast. In this adventure, he discovered that he’s really into forcing me to deep throat him and making me gag on his dick – he had me do it for quite some time that night, and I didn’t mind it given how thrilling and sexy the whole evening was.

After all was said and done, we were both super happy that night. It honestly felt like we were brought closer together in this experience because he was finally comfortable enough with me/himself to explore a new side to sex. It was awesome.

However… since then, all he wants to do is throat fuck me. Every time we’ve had sex since, he’s forced me to do it. I’ve played along so far because I don’t want to discourage him, but I really don’t enjoy having this done to me all of the time. I told him the night that it first happened that it’s something I don’t mind mixing into our sexual routines as long as we still do some of the other things we like as well – but he was still pretty drunk at that point, so maybe he doesn’t recall that caveat. I don’t know.

My question – when do I say something again? I feel like I should just play the supportive girlfriend role for a little while so he can keep building his confidence up, but I literally couldn’t even get wet last night because choking on his dick was something I was just NOT in the mood for, but it happened.

I would hate to see my boyfriend lose this newfound confidence because I handle this poorly.

Venice’s response to throat fuck

Great question, easy answer.  Tell him, in a non sexual setting, that you are not interested in getting your tonsils beat up and stabbed each time you guys have sex.  Let him know that although you love it, doing it each time takes away the thrill.  Much like how he didn’t like missionary sex each time in his previous relationship, you don’t like being throat fucked each time.  It becomes less sexy and spontaneous, and more of a routine.   You don’t want your sex to become a routine.  This shouldn’t be that hard to understand, especially since you are using an analogy that compares to how he felt about missionary sex.

Trust me on this, when your boyfriend was 16, missionary sex, or even thinking about missionary sex, wasn’t boring.  Sex isn’t boring.  A routine is.   Do not make your sexual positions a routine.  

Good luck!

Ryan’s response to throat fuck

I really doubt your boyfriend will lose his confidence because you don’t want to be throat fucked every time you have sex.   Just let him know that it is sexy to change things up.  One day it should be soft and sensual.  The next day it should be quick and easy.  The next day it could be throat fucking until you vomit all over his lap and finishing him with a hand job that uses your vomit as lube.  

Q&A: My Girlfriend Makes Jokes About My Penis Size

Q&A: My Girlfriend Makes Jokes About My Penis Size

Initially she used to poke fun at my size, and I was not quite bothered with it, I used to take it in good vein. But it continued (the joking as such as not probably increased, but it is consistent) and now somewhere I have begun to feel insecure about my size, and if she is happy or satisfied with me.

I have talked to her, she said, they’re just jokes, and I believe her also. But the bug of insecurity in my head has already crept in.

Is she just being polite in not confronting me if my size bothers her?

Should I again talk to her? But what will I say ? She will again say they’re just jokes.

Or should I “not laugh” or “not support” her jokes or even object to them outright (honestly this seems pretty rude to me though)?

This seems so trivial, I don’t know what to say or even take an offence on it, or ignore it, or what it she’s really unsatisfied!?

Venice’s response to penis size

I would suggest having an open discussion with her and letting her know these jokes are making you feel insecure.  Once you have told her, do not laugh or support her jokes.  You not laughing is just as rude as her saying a joke you have told her makes you feel insecure.  

Personally, I would never say any joke about my husband that isn’t body positive.  If he gets upset at something I might tease him like,  “Well at least you have a big dick.”   Or if he moves something heavy that I can’t move I act impressed and say, “Dang, all that big dick energy.”    I definitely wouldn’t tease him about anything negative.  The same as if he teased me and said, “Oh that fish smells like your vagina!”  Or, “This shirt is so loose if feels like your vagina!”   I definitely wouldn’t laugh.  Even if it was a joke or teasing me, I do not want to hear negative jokes about my body.  I don’t think its silly to talk to your partner and let them know, these types of jokes just aren’t funny to you.

Ryan’s response to penis size

Whether a woman considers me small, average, or large, any joke about my penis better be about it being too large.  Yes, I am that petty.  I don’t care if my penis was 3 inches erect, any joke better be body positive.  Personally I am not attracted to a person who is insensitive to others’ feelings, especially something as sensitive as a man’s penis.  And as the old saying goes, treat people the way you like to be treated.  Personally, I couldn’t imagine myself saying a mean joke to a person about their body, especially if I knew it could possibly hurt their feelings, and they aren’t being mean to me.

We’ve had various women in our group expose their breasts drunk, playing around, or just getting a bit wild.  And sometimes, because alcohol is involved, the group may tease the person (just an example), “Girl those things are getting saggy!”   No matter the mood,  I personally do not jump in on those jokes.  Whether it’s teasing or playful, I don’t find it funny to tease a person about their body.  

With that said, talk to your girlfriend about her jokes and let her know you no longer find them funny.  I assume she will understand and let it go.  If she continues to say jokes, either don’t laugh, let her know it wasn’t funny, or ask her how she’d feel if you said her vagina was huge?   I’m pretty sure she will understand size jokes aren’t very funny when you respond teasing her about the size of her vagina.

My husband and I finally tried anal and it was amazing!

My husband and I finally tried anal and it was amazing!

I am 29 and my husband is 30.  As someone who was searching for anal advice recently and found your blog, I thought I’d share my experience.

I wasn’t technically an anal virgin when I met my husband. It happened with two previous boyfriends, but both were very painful, unplanned, “oops it slipped into the wrong hole” when drunk situations. Both were awful. My husband and I tried anal early in our relationship, but I was so nervous that we never made it past toys.

The idea of getting railed in the ass has always really turned me on, so I was determined to try again. We picked out an anal plug beginners kit and some good lube. I decided to go the extra mile, so I did a fleet enema (got it on Amazon) before we started. I also had a tiny edible, so I would feel more relaxed.

We started with some basic foreplay and PIV sex. Then we moved on to the plug kit. We got to the biggest plug and decided to give it a go. He was so gentle, slowed down and stopped when I asked without hesitation. Once I was fully adjusted to him he steadily increased speed until he was going for it and it was so. Fucking. Amazing. Legitimately one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. Will 100% do it again.

My point is, don’t let previous bad experiences scare you away from trying something you’re interested in. With the right partner and open communication, it could become something you end up loving.

Venice’s response to finally tried anal

I am so glad you had an amazing experience!   And you know what else?!  Anal sex and semen in a woman’s ass causes a higher sex drive.   So don’t be surprised if you try this more often and you start having random spurts of being extremely horny.  Trust me, it happened to me.

I have a similar story with orgasms.   The first time I orgasmed while analing (with the help from a toy), my orgasm was so much more intense.   I believe this is because of the pressure and stretch your anus feels, which helps make the orgasm much better.  When I orgasm though vaginal penetration, I liked to be fucked hard while I cum.  When I orgasm while analing, I do not have to be fucked hard because the stretch and pressure is already intense enough to maximize the pleasure I feel during an orgasm.

Ryan’s response to finally tried anal

We are both really happy for you!  I am glad our blog could help you keep an open mind and try something that you previously had bad experiences with.  Maybe your story will help others also see the advantages of anal sex.

Q&A: My Husband Came Out As Bisexual

Q&A:  My Husband Came Out As Bisexual

So my husband and I of three years were laying in bed a few nights ago talking about myself being bisexual and he asked shyly how I knew and when I knew. I answered and carried on like nothing happened when he said he wanted to tell me something. He came out to me as bisexual as well and talked about how he had a hookup style relationship with a guy before we started dating. He’s keep it a secret for years because his parents have always said its Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. It was a major breakthrough and I’m the first person he’s ever told and he was especially scared to even tell me (he finally felt super confident and empowered to tell someone I’ve always been super out about it) . It felt so heartwarming and its brought us even closer than before.

Tonight while we were in bed together he brings up wanting to explore his newly opened specialty in bed with toys. My question is where should we start? any advise from people who have been through similar situations would be amazing.

Venice’s response to bisexual husband

Not really that uncommon.  In fact, the amount of men totally in the closet that are married is astronomical.  Ask any gay man you know if they hook up with husbands.  You’ll get laughed at!  I’d go as far as saying that there are just as secretly bisexual married men apps like Grindr as their are openly gay men.

 

Some things you can try with your bisexual husband:

Pegging.  This is where the woman wears a strap on and takes on the dominant role.  Not all men that participate in this activity are bisexual, but it is role reversal and can be extremely fun and sexy.  For a bisexual man, probably even more so.  You can roleplay that you are a man, or you can just be the woman taking on a dominant position, piping down your husband until he explodes on his own chest and stomach.

Toss his salad.  Again, nothing between a man and woman is bisexual, but the act of him being vulnerable and bending over for another person can be something  a bisexual man would appreciate.  I would also consider this an act that was made popular by gay culture.  Not that a man and woman can’t enjoy rimming each other, but this kink was extremely big in gay culture.  Tossing salad with no shame.

Snowballing.    This doesn’t always have to be from the your mouth to his, but that is the basic term.  Because it builds up volume going from your mouth, mixing with your salvia, into another person’s mouth, it is called snowballing. However, you can break the rules a bit and find creative ways to feed him his own semen.  Whether it be with your hands, your mouth, or allowing him to cum directly into a shot glass and drinking his own semen while you watch.  Kiss him and make him feel loved.  Make sure you let him know you find it sexy so he doesn’t feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.  And just know, chances are he has tasted and swallowed his own cum numerous times but would never tell a soul.  So if he is willing to do it in front of you, you will only get closer.

Exploring his prostate while giving him a blow job.  Or just prostate play in general.  Although again, this isn’t always a bisexual thing, it definitely can be something a bisexual man can enjoy and appreciate.  

The next suggestion is a bit more serious and not something I’d suggest trying until you are ready for this type of lifestyle change.

Offer to allow a gay man to enter your bedroom.  If he is not interested in seeing a man be with you, let him know that you will not do any sort of oral or penetration with the guy, but will spoil him together with another man.  This would be the ultimate bi experience.  It may lead to other things, but this can be sexy as hell.  It is also closure to your old way of seeing your husband, and hands on experience watching him enjoy another man.  Or be enjoyed by another man.

Ryan’s response to bisexual husband

Congratulations, life will be so much better for you with this type of openness and communication.  In fact, everything can be better now if you get to learn his sexuality and the things he’d like to try.  And remember, being bisexual doesn’t mean he will ever do anything sexual with another man.  Marriage is still marriage and if you are monogamous, bisexuality doesn’t give him permission to have sex with men.  Men that aren’t bisexual like women in general.  That doesn’t mean they can go out and bang more girls just because they like them.

As far as suggestions go, Venice has really hit the nail on the head with hers.  

My Nude Photos and Anal Plug Fixed My Garage!

plug-001My Nude Photos and Anal Plug Fixed My Garage!

It’s no secret. Everyday, I spend my morning with my husband. We  take time every morning so that we can start our day off  sexually charged and be on each other’s minds throughout the day.
 
Today, however,  I decided to do something a little unexpected. As I headed out today, after our morning time together, my husband asked me to open the garage for him. For us, it’s not as simple as pressing a button and the garage opens on its own. No! Because of a faulty spring, someone has to press the button while another person has to manually lift a 300 lb garage door, or else it will fall and slam onto the ground. It halfway works, but it has to be nudged along.  

So today, as I was getting dressed for work, my husband asked me to press the button. I wasn’t ready because I wanted to surprise him by putting in my butt plug that I hadn’t worn in years. I thought it would be as simple as taking it out of my drawer and inserting it without him knowing because he was already on his way out the door.
 
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.  He was impatient and standing in the garage yelling at the top of his lungs, “Help me! I’m waiting! What are you doing?!   Venice?!” 

I yelled from inside the bedroom, “Hold on! I’m coming!  Give me a second!” 

To which he responds, “What are you doing?!  Why is it taking you so long to come here and press the damn button!”  As he is yelling this, I am holding my little silver butt plug in my hand and dipping it into my coconut oil for easier insertion. Suddenly, Ryan walks into the bedroom, stomping his way across the hallway and says, “When I ask for your help, I expect you to come and help!”   I’m still giddy and laughing on the inside because all I want to do is put this damn thing in my ass and get to work.

Eventually I get the plug in and help him get the garage up (the button pusher to the rescue).  I get to work a few minutes early.  At about 8:02 a.m. I’ve got a gallery of pictures on my phone of me bent over, ass cheeks spread, anal plug showing.  I greet Ryan on text and say, “Hey what are you doing?”

He responded, “Just getting to work.”

I responded, “Do you want to play a game?  The game is called ‘Guess where I want you to cum in me tonight?”  I then sent him about 8 or 9 pictures, my face, breasts, ass, and of course, the last pictures being me wearing the anal plug.  All I can do is smile as I’m looking at my phone watching each picture slowly load and send.   I then add, “This is what I was doing while you were yelling at me to help you in the garage.”  

About three and a half minutes later, Ryan tells me that my pictures cost us about $195. When I asked him why, he said that he shouldn’t have been so impatient and seeing those pictures of me wearing the anal plug made him realize that fixing the garage door was now a priority.  He felt  having a good morning was more important than him yelling at me to come help him push a button.   It just took a simple anal plug.

So as I’m writing this, Ryan is at home watching the garage door get fixed. And now I’m thinking…what can I do to get a patio installed?