Q&A: My Boyfriend and I tried anal play and now he feels disgusting.

boyfriend anal playMy Boyfriend and I tried anal play and now he feels disgusting.

I’m a 20 year old female and my boyfriend is 21.  We decided to try something new and it started off with me eating his ass, which he liked.  I then put my finger in and he loved it.  When I tried to put two fingers in, he orgasmed.  This was the first time he has finished so quickly.  He usually takes between 30-60 minutes even with penetrative sex to orgasm and he never orgasms just from head.  But this time, he jerked off as I played with his ass and he came within just a few minutes!

After he was done he had a weird look on his face, got up immediately and went to the bathroom.  When he came back he wouldn’t even look at me. I tried to get him to open up and he said that he liked it but he’s angry and feels disgusting for liking it. I told him I won’t bring it up again unless he wants to try it again at some point and he replied saying he would do it again in an instant, he just feels so disgusting and emasculated for liking it.

butt playI tried telling him that our bodies are weird and why should we limit ourselves when there is so much pleasure to be found everywhere. Plus every first time is an emotional experience but he wouldn’t even look at me or say anything.  After about 30 mins he told me he needs to go and went back to his place.

 

I think this may be stemming from his upbringing (we are both from very strict Asian backgrounds) and it sucks seeing him feel so disgusted with himself when it’s something he just found out he enjoys. I want him to be happy and feel good and I’ve never seen him feel this way about himself, especially when it comes to sexual things

How do I handle this without making the situation worse ?

Venice’s response to boyfriend anal play

 

ass play boyfriend peggingPersonally, as an Asian woman, I do not think Asian culture is any different than masculine men culture, it’s universally embarrassing for most straight men to first come out about enjoying fingers in your ass.  Even now, in a lot of urban, more masculine cultures in America, some men won’t even admit to masturbating.  It’s a sign of weakness.  Why masturbate when I can get pussy?   And a lot of men, especially the immature ones in their early teens to late 20s, still get embarrassed at the thought of eating pussy.   

Say what?!  Whether it be gross, emasculating, or a sign of being a cuck…why would they eat the hole other men have fucked?  And of course, all of these reasons are immature and dumb as fuck!  Excuse my French.

With that said, I believe this has changed a lot in recent years.  Because now it seems men are open about not only eating pussy, but have no issues admitting they love to dive face first into a woman’s ass.  I believe social media has helped open up men from all walks of life, to admit what they enjoy, because social media still has a bit of anonymity to it.  And the truth is, men have always loved to dive in and “accidentally” lick our asses, low key.  And a lot of them didn’t mind a wandering finger during a blow job.

get this dock

Before I get into answering your question, let me make sure you understand my perspective.  I am the Asian girl who wrote “A Total ‘How To’ Woman’s Guide To Licking Your Man’s Ass.”

In other words, I am all for anal play, ass play, pegging, or whatever else a couple can do with each other’s bodies. However, this doesn’t happen over night.  Most men, especially after trying something some people consider “gay” for the first time, will show some sort of embarrassment. He isn’t going to take it up the ass and be proud afterwards.  He has to be careful, he wants to know you understand he isn’t gay.  He also possibly feels he has to overreact to ensure you understand, this isn’t something he would “normally” do.   And what’s also interesting, he may have the same reaction with all the other women he dates in the future.  For whatever reason, even in an open minded relationship, men can’t just come out and say they love ass play.  It’s a gradual admission.

Just be patient, accepting, and make sure you keep letting him know that you don’t consider anything the two of you can do to each others’ bodies gay, or even a sign of gayness.  Nor should he be emasculated.  Give him time.  Eventually you will find yourself diving down to his ass, kissing him afterwards, and enjoying what a couple can do with each other, without the shame that comes along with it.  It’s a sexual maturation process we all go through.  And I mean ALL OF US.

Ryan’s response to boyfriend anal play

 

boyfriend anal play

Just to start this off, I’d like to link to one of the most masculine guy in the world, who openly admits he prefers transwomen to non transwomen.   I can’t go into each video or find the exact moments, but his name is Big Lenny and he is extremely open with his sexuality.  He does not say he is gay, but he keeps it no secret that he likes butt play, likes beautiful women with penises, and would tear your head off if you questioned his masculinity.

The Delray Misfits – YouTube

Obviously your boyfriend is embarrassed.  Most men do not just throw the legs up and let a woman dive in unless it’s something they thought about privately at some point.  I am sure if you discussed something new and found his ass up in the air enough for you to lick it, he knew exactly what he wanted to try.  Sometimes when we expose ourselves to our kinks and leave ourselves extremely vulnerable.  Yes, depending on the kink, we get overwhelmed with embarrassment as soon as we orgasm.  The first time I orgasmed in front of Nessa, I cried.  I just felt so weird, so exposed, so wrong (wtf), that crying just felt right for me.  It was something I had only done by myself up until that moment so I felt super vulnerable and didn’t know how she’d think of me.

We are taught to do anything sexual alone and keep our kinks hidden.  When exposed, we feel vulnerable and exposed.  Sometimes the kinks we enjoy, aren’t perceived as masculine, so it’s also emasculating.   It isn’t uncommon for us to put on a show, to make sure the person knows, “This isn’t the normal me.  I am so much more manly and tough, I’d never cum to a finger in my ass and be proud!!!!   Roar!  I am a man, hear me roar!”

boyfriend anal playSo we put on a little “show.” Acting upset, shocked, or just letting the other person know how disgusted we are, may be some authentic emotion, but it is also to save face.  And we’ll save face until we feel comfortable that you didn’t judge us, you accepted our kink, and it’s okay to enjoy what we enjoy.  So far, you have done everything right!  You said all the right things.  You were patient.  You have now went through all the obstacles you think he is going through, from being embarrassed or emasculated, and are starting to understand, he isn’t gay.  He just likes anal play.  Now, imagine all the women that first play with their man’s asses and question his sexuality.  This happens all the time!  And good for you,  you didn’t do that.  But just know, he has his own process he has to go through to ensure you understand him.  Give him time.  His kink is exposed.  He obviously really enjoyed it.  It will only get better from here, as long as you keep an open mind.

Question for Women: I Just Had The Worst Sex Of My Life, TWICE. How do I deal with this?

worst sex of my lifeQuestion for Women: I Just Had The Worst Sex Of My Life, TWICE. How do I deal with this?

Oh my god. The pain. RIP vagina.

I’m 26 and the guy I’m sleeping with is 22. Initially, I was worried because of the age difference (especially in bed per sexual experience) but we’ve been friends for years and there’s always been a lot of sexual tension between us. So I invited him over to hang out and next thing I know I’m being jackhammered.

worst-sex-of-my-lifeNow I’m not here to insult anyone who enjoys being jackhammered, and I am going to mention some rough sex is really good when it’s right. HOWEVER, this was undeniably the most painful and worst sexual experience I’ve ever had… twice..

First of all, this guy has a big package. Girth and length, so I knew it would take some easing into. Second of all, I could immediately tell how awfully desensitized he was when there was little to no reaction to my hands/mouth. And third, he didn’t even orgasm after an hour of sex and an hour of pounding me. I’m so incredibly shocked and disturbed by the entire ordeal I had no idea where to get it out but here.

rougher sexThe first time we had sex he went wild. He was ripping me around the bed, licking my butthole, putting fingers in every hole possible, choking me, jackhammering me. (Talk about boundaries?!) I was so shocked by it all I was barely able to communicate properly. I was so uncomfortable. I mentioned to him “do you ever have slow sex?” “woah relax” but he was not taking any hints. I actually had to stop him after 45 minutes because my vagina was so raw and he was not even close to climaxing. I chalked it up to him being young and nervous and just trying to impress me by doing anything he can think of but I was so wrong.

I figured I would mention it to him if we ended up in bed again. The second time when we were making out I made a joke that I was scared to sleep with him because he’s A) huge and B) crazy (not in a good way) he needs to slow down.. So he spent extra time touching me, going down on me, was slow to jump into sex, but when we did get into sex he was insane. He had no reaction to me riding him, NONE. Instead, he fucked me even harder than the last time and the only way he could cum was by literally jackhammering me forever. It was fucking horrible and so painful.

worst sexHere’s the thing. We were good friends before all of this and it’s safe to say I never want to sleep with him again, but he is really into me. He texts me to hang out all the time, takes me on nice dates, spends hours talking to me.. but the sex is just terrible.. I know he’s going to ask what’s up when I tell him I’m not interested in sleeping with him and I want to lay it all out for the poor guy before he goes into his prime 20’s thinking that’s how women want to be fucked. He’s clearly got a major death grip/porn addiction and it’s disturbing. So how do I navigate this?!!

Venice’s response to worse sex of my life

Interesting story.  This is extremely simple to navigate… tell him.

Because sexual experiences are subjective and some women find getting their brains fucked out by a 20 year old stud as great sex, I don’t think he will be ruined by your preferences.  Just make sure he knows, it’s not all women, but your preference.   It also may be because who wants to be jackhammered and have your pussy fucked raw by a guy you see as an adorable pal that you chit chat with but never really wanted to fuck in the first place?

Just let him know your deal.  

On another note, I find it unusual you can tell he has a “death grip/porn addiction” based off being jackhammered by a young stud that wants to fuck your brains out.  

Ryan’s response to worse sex of my life

I agree with Venice.  Although the story is fun, this is an extremely easy one.   Tell him.

As far as riding him and being able to tell he has death grip?  Huh?  Being rode is a much different sensation than doggy, missionary, or any type of penetration where the man can control how his penis pistons inside a woman.  In fact, I’d say being rode gives the least sensation simply because it kind of just stirs the penis inside the women, just rubbing around her insides, rather than pistoning in and out.  It’s a good sensation, but a lot of guys will flip you over and really fuck you down before we orgasm.  And it’s not because of death grip or a porn addiction.  It’s because that stirring sensation really gets us horny but not quite enough sensation to get that release.  Frustrated, we really take it out on a woman’s pussy when we get on top of her.

The same can be said for the hand or mouth, as a lot of men just can’t orgasm from oral sex.  A mouth feels amazing, but just can’t compare to a tight vagina.

Otherwise, good luck navigating this friendship.  I’d say you got in over your head with a guy that had been dreaming of fucking your brains out, while you saw him as a casual friend that you probably don’t desire.  And you really don’t want your brains fucked out by a guy you have little desire for.  Probably a bit embarrassing to get your back blown out by a guy you kind wanted on the side as you found a real love interest.

 

Pornhub has deleted millions of videos and unverified 1000s of amateur content creators.

Pornhub has deleted millions of videos and unverified 1000s of amateur content creators.

Due to people uploading illegal content (sex trafficking, etc), Pornhub has removed all unverified user uploads.   They have also turned off the option to download (this should have never been an option to begin with).   Unfortunately, they have also removed 1000s of verified users due to the fact they do not show their face in videos, animators, or something where it’s impossible to verify.

We aren’t going to complain or post a rant.  We are just updating our readers and letting them know why some of our content in our blog is missing.   Although we didn’t have a lot of views, since we originally used xhamster.com as our video host, we still lost a few videos and our verification badge.  I believe because our videos did not show our faces, even with a verification photo, they have taken down the content and stripped amateurs of their verification.  All profile photos, profile banners, and content was also removed.  Not that it’s a big deal, but I really wish we would have kept backups!   Unfortunately, we kind of uploaded a few videos of syntribation and didn’t even back them up.  Those are gone.

I assume animators (don’t show their faces, just sexual artwork), amateurs that cover their faces or only show their bodies, and other content creators will be effected by this.  Supposedly Pornhub will be updating their verification process, so we will see how that goes.   The good news is, if other sites follow suit, eventually all your old videos that people copied, reuploaded, and shared, will be harder to find.  We had a bunch ourselves.  Even with our watermark, random people would just upload them on their own.  Those are also gone.  The amount of revenge porn removed was probably in the millions.  So that’s a good thing.  And truthfully, if this deletion removed  illegal videos of underaged children or sex traffickers, I am all for it.   

 

The Tallest Female Porn Stars

The Tallest Female Porn Stars

We are going to do something a bit different for this blog.  We saw a clickbait photo on twitter with a giant woman, who actually looked pretty sexy.  Immediately I ran to google to see who the tallest female porn star was.   In doing so, we found various lists of all the tall porn stars.  We thought we’d share with our readers so they can help with our research.

20 Madison Rose
Height: 5 feet 10” or 177.8 cm

Madison Rose

 

 

19 Molly Stewart
Height: 5 feet 11” or 180 cm

molly stewart xxx

 

 

18 Bianca Breeze
Height: 5 feet 11” or 180 cm

 

 

17 Nicolette Shea
Height: 5 feet 11” or 180 cm

Nicolette Shea

 

 

 

16 Alison Tyler
Height: 5 feet 11” or 180 cm

Alison Tyler

Pipper Peri and Alison Tyler grinding.

 

15 Holly Michaels
Height: 5 feet 11” or 180 cm

 

 

14 Mia Melano
Height: 5 feet 11.5” or 181 cm

 

 

13 Paige Turnah
Height: 5 feet 11.5” or 181 cm

 

 

12 Bella Rolland
Height: 6 feet or 183 cm

 

 

11 Eve Ellwood
Height: 6 feet or 183 cm

 

 

10 Sophia Wilde
Height: 6 feet or 183 cm

 

 

9 Nikki Eliot
Height: 6 feet or 183 cm

 

8 Angel Long
Height: 6 feet or 183 cm

 

 

7 Zoey Paige
Height: 6 feet or 183 cm

 

 

6 Elena Koshka
Height: 6 feet or 183 cm

 

 

5 Blaire Ivory
Height: 6 feet 1” or 185 cm

 

 

4 Kitty Jane
Height: 6 feet 1” or 185 cm

 

 

3 Danica James
Height: 6 feet 2” or 188 cm

Danica James Danica JamesDanica James

 

 

2 Rocky Emerson
Height: 6 feet 3” or 190 cm

Rocky Emerson

Rocky Emerson

Rocky Emerson

 

 

1 Ava Koxxx
Height: 6 feet 3” or 190 cm

 

 

Have fun doing all your research on the tallest women in porn!  Get back to us with your own results (please do not send us pictures of your cumshots all over your computer screens again!)

How Twitter And Blogging Led To Us Becoming Webcam Models

webcam modelHow Twitter And Blogging Led To Us Becoming Webcam Models

Let’s be honest, the term webcam models is a nice way of saying, Amateur Smut Peddlers.  The 360×480 Low Quality Shove a Dildo in Your Ass While the Sound of Coins Bling in the Chatroom Couple. The Blurry and Pixelated Porn Stars….

Okay, let me stop.  Just know, we were around in the wild wild web, when you had to download AVI files at 600 MB, for a 1 minute clip of an amateur couple fucking.  High quality wasn’t a thing, neither was streaming in 1060 HD. Marijuana may be the gateway drug, but Twitter and sex blogging for naughty exhibitionist couples is the gateway to becoming amateur porn stars.  

The Low Down on The Webcam Model Lifestyle

And as the good bloggers we are, we will help lead the way for the new up and cumming couples that have recently shared nude photos for the first time and accidentally found this blog.  Even better, we have found a site that has done all the hard work for us and compiled a list of the best cam sites to turn your stranded at home, touching yourself during the quarantine, possibly unemployed, beautiful ass, into an amateur webcam model.  For us, we personally didn’t need any of the reasons above, we just became webcam models because it felt naughty and made our sex better.  That’s it.  We loved the new attention we got while blogging.  We loved the likes and retweets on Twitter. 

I can still remember the first time we posted a video and got a million views in a matter of days from a close up of me with a mask on, deepthroating my husband.  A million people wanted to see me suck my husband’s dick with a mask on?   And like those before us, we knew how Heather Harmon and her husband felt.

The attention is Intoxicating.

Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems.

The most money we made in this business was through performing as webcam models.  The least money we have made?  This blog.   Funny huh?

Although we have put on plenty of free webcam shows with no options to donate, eventually we did jump into the professional world of being webcam models.  For the experience, for the attention, for the feeling of being fuck bots for those that pay us money to request how I take my husband’s cum shot.   It was neat, like Pay -Per-View sex on demand.  For us, although the coin chiming sound became the soundtrack to our orgasms, we eventually decided to keep our content more controlled.   We weren’t Barbie and Ken and live sex is unforgiving on our bodies and egos.

We Dare You To Find Our Live Webcam Clips

Eventually we “retired” and thankfully have never been able to find the clips from our live days floating around.    Not because of the embarrassment we were naked and having sex, but more the embarrassment of how bad we probably looked naked and having sex LIVE.  With that said, we still openly challenge anyone to find live clips of us!  The only clips we have found floating around, are the clips we uploaded and edited (that a lot of other sites have snagged or anonymous users have reuploaded), that we purposely released to get that type of attention.   And truthfully, for those thinking of becoming webcam models, this is a good thing.  There are so many couples from all over the world streaming 24 hours a day on webcam sites, that your footage being saved is almost non existent.  Although we like to think of ourselves as unique snowflakes, our vaginas and dicks just aren’t that special!  Chances of amateur webcam footage going viral these days?  Almost none. 

Your Secrets Are Save With We

The dangers of “being nude online will stick with you forever” are pretty much over.  You will be more haunted from your past mistake of giving that ex-boyfriend a nude, than performing on live webcam.   The fact you are anonymous and there are so many other models banking coin doing the same thing, keeps you pretty safe.   On most sites, you can even block specific states from viewing your live stream if you wanted (so the locals won’t recognize or find you).  Unlike the 90s, when every perv had a screen capture recording, it just doesn’t seem to be a thing anymore.  It doesn’t go viral, DMCA takedowns work quick, and unless you are doing something so different from the rest of the world, it just won’t get noticed or attention in recorded format.  

webcam sexUs Moving on from Amateur Webcams

Although our sex blog and social media like Twitter led us into the webcam model world,  we didn’t stick around long.  The money was good, but for us, we preferred the blogging format.  Over time our bodies changed, jobs changed, and blog changed.   Originally it was all about step by step instructionals on how to deepthroat.   And since we blogged about it, we figured it only made sense to verify with videos.   But later our blog got more in depth with our lives, every day relationship advice, questions and answers, and less about teaching women to deepthroat or sniff cum like it’s a drug.  Although sex will always be a huge part of this blog because it keeps our intimacy active, through things like our erotic photo shoots or our naughty selfies.

However, we do apologize for all those that now visit our amateur webpage with promises of videos going along with our blogs only to be met with the dreaded [DELETED].   I guess the power of never being popular and making mediocre quality videos is… when they disappear, no one notices!  They used to tell us, “Don’t upload your sex videos because it’s online forever!”  Not anymore!  Your porn isn’t online forever if you aren’t deepthroating a dildo the size of your entire arm. Not these days.  

In hindsight, being an amateur webcam couple was a fun experience.  But we were doing that type of thing when it had so much negative stigma to it.  The idea that bad decisions haunt you forever was constantly in the back of our minds. It isn’t until you decide that sex isn’t bad or something you should be ashamed of that the stigma disappears.  Especially as a couple that is married or in a very committed relationship.  As we get older, we now think, “Dang, where is that old video where we looked so damn hot!  Why didn’t anyone save it!”  More and more webcam models and social media kinksters are asking their followers for old photos of themselves!  Not only do these things not haunt us, we regret not saving them ourselves.  I have found videos of us uploaded to random sites (not by us) years ago and redownloaded them to archive!