Although I feel my sexual experiences, as a woman that has been married for over 20 years, is different from a lot of other sexual experiences, some things have always turned me on. I really enjoy my husband having extremely fast orgasms. When he wasn’t my husband, I still enjoyed him not being able to restrain himself. The fact my body can make him lose control so quickly turns me on much more than him needing to rub his dick back and forth inside me for an hour just to ejaculate. Even to this day, I enjoy an orgasm, but my favorite part about sex is feeling him cum inside me. The amount of time it takes to get him off being shorter only makes me feel better. However, this pleasure is probably because this rarely happens, and when it does, it’s such a treat for me and my ego. I want to know I can make my husband cum in seconds. I want to know that he lost control because my mouth, vagina, or ass felt so good to him that he couldn’t control his urge to ejaculate inside me. I also believe that good sex is when two people are totally in tune with each other and if I have an urge to make him cum fast and he responds, I enjoy that much more than I would being pounded for 30 minutes. Some women may think that it’s a lack of self esteem that makes me happy when he cums quickly. Or I put my self worth in his ejaculations rather than my own. I call bullshit. It’s down to the core of my instincts to want to please my man. From the first moment I was sexual with him, I just wanted him to feel pleasure from his body touching mine. Nothing made me feel more loved than being able to make my man melt inside me. I don’t think this is insecurity or a self worth issue, but more of a woman wanting to be all woman. I do not get self worth from pretending to have the needs of a man. Although I love my orgasms, my orgasms are and always have been a bonus. In my case, my husband will never have to apologize because I felt so good to him that he couldn’t control himself. That makes me feel amazing.
With all that said above, my relationship and sex life is a bit more complicated than I make it seem. We have had various routines that prior to sex my husband would ask me if I wanted to orgasm. Because I could not cum from PIV (penis in vagina) sex, he would go down on me and make me cum prior to having sex. Obviously this meant, that afterward we would have intercourse, and it was all about his orgasm. Since I had already gotten off, my experiences and opinions on a man cumming too soon may be much different than yours. These days I can cum through PIV, so him going longer and being able to hit the right spots is something I really enjoy. Although I love feeling him cum inside me, I do enjoy him making me cum first. With communication we still talk prior and if I let him know I want to get high off his dick, he will take his time and make sure to hit all my spots. Since it took years for us to find what works for us, he appreciates me cumming from his body, the same as I appreciate him cumming from mine.
With that being said, I am just one woman, with one opinion. Some women may not feel the same and I can respect that. Below is an anonymous write up from a girl that has the same line of thinking as me. If you want to discuss, please comment below.
Every time I feel a guy orgasming, I feel so powerful. Then for some reason, no matter how long they actually lasted, out comes some kind of apology for how they “usually aren’t like this” or “sorry.” An apology and guilt is literally the last thing I want to hear from a guy who just came from my actions! When I’m still hella riled up and fuzzy!
Its an instant turn off and kills my enjoyment of the afterglow or still ongoing sexual moment.
I know that for some reason society focuses the entire act of sex on just penis insertion into vaginas and shames men for not withholding their orgasm. This is wrong and bad.
The correct response is to immediately reach down and start rubbing the clit of who you are with if you really feel you came sooner than you’d like and she didn’t get off. If you came, I’m sure she would LOVE to hear how her pussy got you off so quick and how good she is as you do this. Not one woman is going to complain about this.
If you aren’t up to it in your instant post orgasmic bliss, give it 20 minutes and go again!
The stereotype of women being annoyed at men who last 1 minute comes from the fact that usually men just roll over and go to sleep and stop touching her when he orgasms, ending the whole affair and leaving her hanging.
In general, please don’t enter the self-guilt trip for reaching orgasm between the thighs of your partner. Or down their throat. That IS the objective of sex, after all. Healthier attitudes will improve your sex more than berating yourself every time you cum in less than 20 minutes or some crazy number.
I wonder how the author would feel if a man she was with came too quickly each time they had sex. Would that still be something he shouldn’t apologize for, or would she start to feel like he put his own pleasure before hers?
If this happened to me below? I mean, how can you not be that flattered by a guy so turned on just the tip of your tongue makes him orgasm?!