Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10. sensation felt when ass fucked
Ryan: Stick a finger or a cucumber in your ass, take notes. Send us an email and let us know your results.
Nessa: I think what Ryan is trying to say is, everyone has an ass, so if you are curious about the sensation, stick a finger in yourself and see what you feel. For me, feeling a finger in my ass does nothing more than give an extra sensation while having sex or being eaten out. A penis is a bit different. I feel my ass hole spread, I feel pressure, and even a feeling that I have to use the bathroom. However, this sensation also feels highly sexual, depending on how horny I am. Regardless, after working it in and the body gets used to the stretch and depth, the sensation is totally erotic. It makes me feel full and fucked, which I enjoy. I don’t have sex with a man to not feel intense pressure or maybe even pain in my sexual regions. I enjoy and want to feel a man drive himself inside me, and I want to gasp each time he thrusts. For me, I would rather feel the slow, deep thrusts than the quick, shallow thrusts because it almost feels as if the back of my ass is connected to the G-spot in my vagina. With anal, the pressure stays intense. With the vagina, depending on my wetness and stretch, the pressure can lessen and it doesn’t feel as intense.
Nessa: Screw you.
Nessa: Okay, I’ll get my strap-on.
Ryan: No deal.
9. my wife let him cum in her after i said no
Ryan: That’s hilarious.
8. releasing of human sperm in a lady ass
Ryan: Yes, I’ve been wanting to Google this search term as well.
Nessa: Yes, because there is no telling what you would get as a result if you didn’t add human.
7. forced facefuck swallow kick slap
Ryan: Sounds like a damn Mortal Kombat move.
Nessa: Down on the joystick, then up, A + D
Ryan: Talk about a Fatality. I can imagine a guy standing there and I hit down, then up, A+D and my character jumps on the other guy and face fucks him until he swallows, then kicks and bitch slaps him.
Nessa: Or a Babality. Maybe after you face fuck him he could throw up little baby versions of you?
Ryan: Seriously, you need help.
Nessa: Maybe as the waterfall of babies comes out of his mouth you could do the E. Honda chop and punch combo and slap them all in mid air.
Ryan: Never get an Asian started with video game ideas. My fucking bad guys.
6. Nessa bloggs tube
Nessa: Are they asking to see my cock or something?
Ryan: I’d suck it.
Nessa: Ugh, next search term please.
Ryan: What? Would that be gay if I was already in love with you for 18 years and found out you have been hiding a cock all this time?
Nessa: How the hell could I hide a cock for 18 years?
Ryan: I mean, you are Asian.
Nessa: Well, that’s true. 🙁
Ryan: It’s too late at that point. I’d definitely suck your dick and love every second of it.
Nessa: Love every second? That’s just too extreme, I’m sorry.
Ryan: It’s too extreme because I’d love doing it? I mean, you tricked me. You got me. All this time you had this cock and I didn’t know about. But what the fuck? It’s too late for me to pack up at that point, I might as well just embrace your cockhood and teach you a thing or two about deepthroating.
Nessa: Oh, I am going to get my toy now!
Ryan: Okay, now you are taking this shit too far. I’m not sucking a pretend cock, that would just be extremely gay.
Nessa: Oh God, you are so weird.
Ryan: Big difference…
Nessa: …next search term please.
5. why does my stomach feel gross after being cummed inside of
Nessa: It’s all in your mind.
Ryan: Or his semen is spoiled from sitting in his balls for hours. Probably looks like cottage cheese inside your stomach right now and your vagina smells like dirty bleach.
Nessa: Ryan, you are going to ruin her.
Ryan: Probably morphed into an alien and is going to crawl out of your belly button in the next few moments.
Ryan: What’s the chances that he ate some sort of poison that didn’t affect him at all but traveled to his prostate or balls waiting to be transferred to a woman’s stomach to infect her?!?
Nessa: Very slim I’d say.
Ryan: Okay then, how about a parasite of some sort? Maybe her boyfriend was swimming in the Amazon river and had a parasite crawl up his urethra? It’s possible that as he ejaculated the parasite traveled with his semen inside this other girl and is attacking her stomach as we speak?
Nessa: Technically, I guess that could happen. Okay, listen, if your boyfriend has swam in the Amazon river in the last few weeks, you may want to get checked by a doctor out as soon as possible.
Ryan: She will probably be dead by the time we publish this.
Nessa: Okay Ryan, that’s enough.
Ryan: Rest in peace person whose stomach felt gross after she was came inside of.
4. healthy ass cum pics
Ryan: Oh V, nice follow up search term placement!
Nessa: I figured that would be a good search term following your parasite sperm story.
Ryan: Can you imagine the alternative to that search term?
Nessa: diseased and spoiled cum pics…
Ryan: …and the woman who swallowed it and now her stomach hurts!
Nessa: sperm with worms pics
Ryan: sperm that looks like puss
Nessa: HIV sperm selfie
Ryan: Ahaha at selfie!
3. how does deepthroating look like
Ryan: What the inside of a throat looks like?
[embedplusvideo height=”300″ width=”450″ editlink=”http://bit.ly/1DGYTYA” standard=”http://www.youtube.com/v/ZvudWuvMjtA?fs=1″ vars=”ytid=ZvudWuvMjtA&width=450&height=300&start=&stop=&rs=w&hd=0&autoplay=0&react=1&chapters=¬es=” id=”ep8359″ /]
Nessa: Looks like a long slimy vagina…
Ryan: …You’re welcome…
Nessa: …or the inside of a wet fleshlight.
Ryan: So yea, pretty much horny all the sudden.
2. i never knew my girl could deepthroat until she deepthroats another guy
Ryan: Ha! Classic!
Nessa: What a way to find out your girls hidden talents.
Ryan: I never knew my wife could juggle 4 balls with her anus until I caught her having a threesome with 2 clowns at a circus behind the popcorn stand! And then she tamed a lion to jump through a ring of fire covering her anus!
Nessa: Haha! Girls always keep their hidden talents a secret until you catch them at the circus.
1. my wife says my penis is small when soft
Nessa: As long as she doesn’t say it’s small when it’s hard, you’re safe.