Q&A: Is My Wife Into Having Sex With Dogs? (Puppy Love)
Okay, I tried to research this a little first and just came up with a bunch of made up stories. I really don’t know what to think. Let me start 12 years ago… My wife and I married 12 years ago. We’ve had our ups and downs but all in all everything is good. When we were dating I she told me a story about her “best friend”. Apparently she was at her house and the friend had sex with her dog in front of my wife. I remember asking what she did. She said she was shocked and just kinda watched until they finished. They were still friends after and even though this supposedly happened a year or so before you’d never know she fucked her dog in front of my wife by talking to her. I always took this story as truth the way it happened but events lately have started to make me question some things about it. About 2 years ago she was giving our family dog a bath. I went to the bathroom to talk to her and laugh at the dumb dog and when I walked in she was “washing” his groin. I said some sarcastic comment about it and she laughed but kept doing it and started actually brushing against his dick. I made fun of her and she got embarrassed but that was the end of it. He had to be put down awhile back for becoming super protective to the point of biting people and drawing blood. Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago. We just finished building our house and figured it was the perfect time for another dog. She wanted a Labradoodle which is fine and so we went to look at them. Before we got there she said she wanted a yellow one. Sounded good to me yellow it is. We get there and they have black and yellow but the only yellows are female. She changes her mind. Now she wants a black one. But the yellows were so much cuter. I pushed for yellow and she gave in and now we have a little curly female puppy. But my wife hates her. She wants nothing to do with her. I couldn’t figure out why I have regretted even getting her because my wife has just been miserable. And then the part that made me start rethinking everything happened. She had a UTI/Kidney infection that put us in the ER the other night. I left my phone with our daughter and was using my wife’s phone while we were in the hospital. I found an Internet tab asking about training dogs to do things to you. I didn’t say anything at the time and still haven’t. I feel super suspicious all of a sudden. And I am wondering if her “friend” was actually her. What if the story she told was just to gauge my reaction? And if it was I failed hard because I still refer to her friend as “the Dog Humper.” I love her to death. And if this is her thing then so be it I would rather her be open with me about it. I may not be okay with it actually happening again but to know that she was doing that as a teen is kind of dirty to think about I guess. Anyway, any advise? Am I crazy and making something out of nothing? How can I bring it up with her or should I even? Question about sex with dogs.
Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10. sensation felt when ass fucked Ryan: Stick a finger or a cucumber in your ass, take notes. Send us an email and let us know your results. Venice: I think what Ryan is trying to say is, everyone has an ass, so if you are curious about the sensation, stick a finger in yourself and see what you feel. For me, feeling a finger in my ass does nothing more than give an extra sensation while having sex or being eaten out. A penis is a bit different. I feel my ass hole spread, I feel pressure, and even a feeling that I have to use the bathroom. However, this sensation also feels highly sexual, depending on how horny I am. Regardless, after working it in and the body gets used to the stretch and depth, the sensation is totally erotic. It makes me feel full and fucked, which I enjoy. I don’t have sex with a man to not feel intense pressure or maybe even pain in my sexual regions. I enjoy and want to feel a man drive himself inside me, and I want to gasp each time he thrusts. For me, I would rather feel the slow, deep thrusts than the quick, shallow thrusts because it almost feels as if the back of my ass is connected to the G-spot in my vagina. With anal, the pressure stays intense. With the vagina, depending on my wetness and stretch, the pressure can lessen and it doesn’t feel as intense. Ryan: Boring. Venice: Screw you. Ryan: Deal. Venice: Okay, I’ll get my strap-on. Ryan: No deal. Venice: Exactly….pussy. Ryan: 🙁
9. my wife let him cum in her after i said no Venice: Ahahaha. Ryan: That’s hilarious.
8. releasing of human sperm in a lady ass Venice: Wtf? Ryan: Yes, I’ve been wanting to Google this search term as well. Venice: Yes, because there is no telling what you would get as a result if you didn’t add human. Ryan: Indeed.
7. forced facefuck swallow kick slap Ryan: Sounds like a damn Mortal Kombat move.
Venice: Down on the joystick, then up, A + D Ryan: Talk about a Fatality. I can imagine a guy standing there and I hit down, then up, A+D and my character jumps on the other guy and face fucks him until he swallows, then kicks and bitch slaps him. Venice: Or a Babality. Maybe after you face fuck him he could throw up little baby versions of you?
Ryan: Seriously, you need help. Venice: Maybe as the waterfall of babies comes out of his mouth you could do the E. Honda chop and punch combo and slap them all in mid air. Ryan: Never get an Asian started with video game ideas. My fucking bad guys.
6. Venice bloggs tube Venice: Are they asking to see my cock or something? Ryan: I’d suck it. Venice: Ugh, next search term please. Ryan: What? Would that be gay if I was already in love with you for 18 years and found out you have been hiding a cock all this time? Venice: How the hell could I hide a cock for 18 years? Ryan: I mean, you are Asian. Venice: Well, that’s true. 🙁 Ryan: It’s too late at that point. I’d definitely suck your dick and love every second of it. Venice: Love every second? That’s just too extreme, I’m sorry. Ryan: It’s too extreme because I’d love doing it? I mean, you tricked me. You got me. All this time you had this cock and I didn’t know about. But what the fuck? It’s too late for me to pack up at that point, I might as well just embrace your cockhood and teach you a thing or two about deepthroating. Venice: Oh, I am going to get my toy now! Ryan: Okay, now you are taking this shit too far. I’m not sucking a pretend cock, that would just be extremely gay. Venice: Oh God, you are so weird. Ryan: Big difference… Venice: …next search term please.
5. why does my stomach feel gross after being cummed inside of Venice: It’s all in your mind. Ryan: Or his semen is spoiled from sitting in his balls for hours. Probably looks like cottage cheese inside your stomach right now and your vagina smells like dirty bleach. Venice: Ryan, you are going to ruin her. Ryan: Probably morphed into an alien and is going to crawl out of your belly button in the next few moments. Venice: … Ryan: What’s the chances that he ate some sort of poison that didn’t affect him at all but traveled to his prostate or balls waiting to be transferred to a woman’s stomach to infect her?!? Venice: Very slim I’d say. Ryan: Okay then, how about a parasite of some sort? Maybe her boyfriend was swimming in the Amazon river and had a parasite crawl up his urethra? It’s possible that as he ejaculated the parasite traveled with his semen inside this other girl and is attacking her stomach as we speak? Venice: Technically, I guess that could happen. Okay, listen, if your boyfriend has swam in the Amazon river in the last few weeks, you may want to get checked by a doctor out as soon as possible. Ryan: She will probably be dead by the time we publish this.
Venice: Okay Ryan, that’s enough.
Ryan: Rest in peace person whose stomach felt gross after she was came inside of. Venice: <sigh>
4. healthy ass cum pics
Ryan: Oh V, nice follow up search term placement! Venice: I figured that would be a good search term following your parasite sperm story. Ryan: Can you imagine the alternative to that search term? Venice: diseased and spoiled cum pics… Ryan: …and the woman who swallowed it and now her stomach hurts! Venice: sperm with worms pics Ryan: sperm that looks like puss Venice: HIV sperm selfie Ryan: Ahaha at selfie!
3. how does deepthroating look like Venice: What? Ryan: What the inside of a throat looks like?
Venice: Looks like a long slimy vagina… Ryan: …You’re welcome… Venice: …or the inside of a wet fleshlight. Ryan: So yea, pretty much horny all the sudden.
2. i never knew my girl could deepthroat until she deepthroats another guy Ryan: Ha! Classic! Venice: What a way to find out your girls hidden talents. Ryan: I never knew my wife could juggle 4 balls with her anus until I caught her having a threesome with 2 clowns at a circus behind the popcorn stand! And then she tamed a lion to jump through a ring of fire covering her anus! Venice: Haha! Girls always keep their hidden talents a secret until you catch them at the circus.
1. my wife says my penis is small when soft Venice: As long as she doesn’t say it’s small when it’s hard, you’re safe. Ryan: Facts.
Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10) Free wife catches me sucking dick / free husbands getting caught sucking cock stories Venice: Give US US OUR FREEDOMS! Ryan: Amistad. If you don’t get it, you don’t get us… Venice: FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Ryan: Braveheart. Boom. Venice: Cause I’m FREEEEEEEEE… FREEEEEEEEE FALLLLLL… Ryan: Jerry Maguire. Too easy. Venice: Bullshit, you can be mine! Ryan: What the hell does that have to do with free? Venice: So you don’t know? Ryan: Top Gun. Easy. But what the hell does that have to do with free? Venice: I’m free to use whatever quotes I want to bitch. Ryan: … Venice: Ha! Gotttttem!
9) difference between a tight pussy and a pussy that has been fucked big time Ryan: Well… Venice: I got this one, Ryan. A tight pussy means she’s dry, unhorny, and not turned on, which means the guy didn’t do his job. He didn’t eat her out, there was no foreplay, and he just stuck his dick in her the same way he probably stuck his dick in a gym sock when he was a kid. A pussy that has “been fucked big time” is just as “loose” as pussy that’s wet from her own juices from being turned on. Ryan: Preach to him… Venice: A pussy that has “been fucked big time” is just as “loose” as pussy that’s wet from her own juices from being turned on. Ryan: Amen! Venice: Lord, save this demon from his evil misguided teenage thoughts of loose pussy! Ryan: Good little sermon Venice, but you’re still tight as fuck though, wet or not. Just saying. Venice: Blasphemous… but thank you. 🙂
8) she had no idea i was recording us fucking porn Venice: Oddly, we’ve never had anyone search “HE had no idea i was recording us fucking porn” Ryan: Yea, because that would never happen. Venice:This is how we fuuuuck.
7) suggestions on small penis teasing Ryan: Okay, I will try a few suggestions. “Well, I bet it’s bigger in a more natural lighting. Let’s turn the lights off and see how it looks when neither of us can see it.” Venice: Zzzzzzzzzzzz. Are you done yet? Maybe you should write that speech down on paper so you don’t forget it? Ryan: Well fuck, how about: “With a little bit of water, a little bit of sunshine, and a whole lot of love, I bet it will grow to be a big boy penis one day.” Venice: How about: “Damn your little ass cock looks like a cervix.” Ryan: Ugh. Jumped a few steps there huh? Venice: “Do you ever finger yourself when you are horny?” Ryan: Jesus. Venice: Uh huh, just keep your pants on when it’s cold out. You don’t want none of this… Ryan: … 🙁 Venice: Awww, want me to suck on your peepee and pretend to gag to make you feel bigger…I mean better? Ryan: Wow, really? Now you’re just being mean. You wouldn’t gag on a fucking bat. Venice: Yea, but I learned playing tee-ball with you Ryan. Ryan: You’re damn right you did. Venice: 🙂 Ryan: Wait, I have no idea if that was an insult or a compliment, but I think it sounded good. Venice: My little Louisville Tugger. Ryan: Hmm..still kind of somewhere in the middle there. Venice: Oh Ryan, you know you have a horse cock. Ryan: 🙂 Venice: My little pony for sure! Ryan: Okay…thank you…and fuck you. You can pick which response fits better than I can. On to the next search term PLEASE.
6) are there any deepthroat porn videos where you can clearly see the dick in her throat Venice: I hear you buddy. I’m not convinced the penis is actually going down her throat unless I can clearly see it. Ryan: Truthfully, until I felt it myself, I didn’t know what deepthroating was either. It’s one of those things that once you feel it, the tight hole in the back, the tighter throat, fuck. No blow job will ever be complete if a girl can’t give me that sensation. I won’t lie. Venice: Like how you thought women peed from the same hole that the penis penetrates? Ryan: Kind of embarrassing you are going to blog that, but yea, kind of like that. Venice: Rookie! Ryan: Uh, you thought the same thing I did. Don’t try to front for the blog! Venice: I knew where my pee came from Ryan. Try again. Ryan: Of course you did, you just didn’t know where my dick was going. At all. Rookie! Venice: They don’t teach that type of stuff in health class Ryan. I blame the public school system! Ryan: Well listen, let’s figure this out together. Let’s load google and put in, “are there any sex porn videos where you can clearly see the dick in her vagina”
Venice: I see what you did there Ryan. Gooood…very good.
5) tears and jizz dripped on my balls as i facefucked the sobbing boy Ryan: Yay, story time! Venice: Yes, gooooood. Keep going.
4) wemen deepthroating the bigest dicks in the whole wide world Ryan: Damn man. Venice: I think our readers are size whores. Ryan: Do you think?!
3) show a picture of man sucking a another man penis Venice: This guy is very demanding isn’t he? Where are his manners? Ryan: He does seems extremely abusive to his search engine. Venice: “please show a picture of man sucking a another man penis” Ryan: Maybe he was talking to Siri? Venice: “Siri, please show a picture of man sucking a another man penis”
2) deepthroat c** in her throat / c** drips out of a woman’s pussy into a man’s mouth Venice: I hate it when people use talk to text to search. Ryan: Why? Venice: Because the censored word could be anything. “deepthroat cat in her throat”…? Ryan: True. I’d be pretty impressed if someone found our site by searching “deepthroat cot in her throat.” Venice: “cow drips out of a woman’s pussy into a man’s mouth” Ryan: Ewwww! Venice: Ewwww!
1) my wife is very good at deepthroating Venice: Aww, that’s sweet of him to say that about his wife Ryan: It’s like he just wants the Internetz to know that she’s good at deepthroating.
A great article by Daniel Engber of slate.com regarding the monogamous or polygamous nature of humans. Read below:
What makes us different from all the other animals? Is it our swollen brains, our idle hands, or perhaps our limber thumbs? In 2011, a research team reviewed the quirks of human DNA and came across another oddly shaped appendage that makes us who we are: I mean, of course, man’s smooth and spineless member. The penises of lots of mammals are endowed with “horny papillae,” hardened bumps or spikes that sometimes look like rows of studs on a fancy condom. These papillae enhance sensation, or so it has been claimed, and shorten a mating male’s delay to climax. Since humans lost their phallic bumps several million years ago, it could be that we evolved to take it slow. And it could also be the case that longer-lasting sex produced more intimate relationships.
So (one might argue that) the shedding of our penis spines gave rise to love and marriage, and (one could also say that) our tendency to mate in pairs pushed aside the need for macho competition, which in turn gave us the chance to live together in large and peaceful groups. Life in groups has surely had its perks, not least of which is that it led to bigger brains and a faculty for language, and perhaps a bunch of traits that served to civilize and tame us. And so we’ve gone from horny papillae to faithful partners—from polygamy to monogamous humanity.
I like this story well enough, but it may or may not be true. In fact, not all penis spines in nature serve to quicken sex—orangutans have fancy ones but waste a quarter of an hour in the act—so we don’t know what to make of our papillae or the lack thereof. That won’t stop anyone from wondering.
Since we like to think that how we mate defines us, the sex lives of ancient hominids have for many years been examined in computer simulations, by measuring the circumferences of ancient bones, and by applying the rules of evolution and economics. But to understand the contentious field of paleo-sexology, one must first address the question of how we mate today, and how we’ve mated in the recent past.
According to anthropologists, only 1 in 6 societies enforces monogamy as a rule. There’s evidence of one-man-one-woman institutions as far back as Hammurabi’s Code; it seems the practice was further codified in ancient Greece and Rome. But even then, the human commitment to fidelity had its limits: Formal concubines were frowned upon, but slaves of either sex were fair game for extramarital affairs. The historian Walter Scheidel describes this Greco-Roman practice as polygynous monogamy—a kind of halfsy moral stance on promiscuity. Today’s Judeo-Christian culture has not shed this propensity to cheat. (If there weren’t any hanky-panky, we wouldn’t need the seventh commandment.)
In The Myth of Monogamy, evolutionary psychologists David P. Barash and Judith Eve Lipton say we’re not the only pair-bonding species that likes to sleep around. Even among the animals that have long been known as faithful types—nesting birds, etc.—not too many stay exclusive. Most dally. “There are a few species that are monogamous,” says Barash. “The fat-tailed dwarf lemur. The Malagasy giant jumping rat. You’ve got to look in the nooks and crannies to find them, though.” Like so many other animals, human beings aren’t really that monogamous. Better to say, we’re monogamish.
That –ish has caused no end of trouble, for lovers and for scientists. Efforts to define our sexual behavior often run afoul of humans’ in-between-ness. Take one common proxy measure of how a primate species copulates: testis size. A male that’s forced to share its partners might do well to make each ejaculation count by firing off as many sperm as possible. Chimpanzees mate rather freely and show a high degree of male-male competition. They also have giant balls, for blowing away their rivals’. Gorillas, on the other hand, have their sexual dynamics more worked out: The alpha male has all the sex; the other males are screwed. Since there’s less chance of going head-to-head on ejaculations, tesis size isn’t so important. Gorilla balls are pretty small. And what about a man’s testes? They’re not so big and not so little. They’re just eh.
Male gorillas may not one-up each other with their testes, but they do rely on other traits to get and keep their harems. That’s why male gorillas are so huge and fearsome: so they can fight off other males for social dominance. Within a species, the difference between the male and female body type yields another proxy for mating habits: The bigger the gap in body size, the more competitive the males, and the greater the inclination toward polygynous arrangements. So how does the split between human men and women compare to that of other primates? We’re sort of in the middle.
Seeing as we’re neither one thing nor the other, scientists have been left to speculate on how our ancestors might have done their thing. Were they like gorillas, where most males suffered while one dude enjoyed the chance to spread his seed? Or more like chimpanzees—sleeping around, with males competing for multiple partners? Or is there another possibility, like the one championed by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá in their best-selling and soundlycriticized paean to free love, Sex at Dawn? According to that book’s authors, our ancestors did as bonobos do: They had rampant sex without much bickering.
Such discussions tend to dead-end quickly, though, since we just don’t know for sure. Our most recent relatives in common with these other primates lived about 6 million years ago. (I suppose if bonobos could be anthropologists, one of them might write a book on whether bonobo sexuality evolved from something humanlike.) “What this really is,” says Barash, “is a Rorschach test for the people asking the question.”
We do have data on human mating trends, but the record tends to be a little spotty. In 2010, a team in Montreal completed its analysis of breeding ratios for Homo sapiens based on a careful study of DNA. By measuring diversity in the human chromosomes, the researchers tried to figure out what proportion of the breeding pool has been composed of females. They found a ratio of slightly more than one-to-one, meaning that there were at least 11 ladies for every minyan of procreating men. But the math they used turned out to be a little wonky, and after making some corrections, they revised the numbers up a bit toward a ratio of 2. These estimates, they wrote, are still within the range you’d find for societies described as “monogamous or serially monogamous, although they also overlap with those characterizing polygyny.” Once again—we’re monogamish.
At what point in hominid evolution did this in-between behavior appear? Paleontologist Owen Lovejoy published fossil specimens in 2009 from Ardipithecus ramidus, which lived 4.4 million years ago. He used the newly described species as evidence for the hominids’ great transition to (mostly) one-on-one relationships. Ardiwalked on two legs, which freed its hands for carrying food, and males that carried food, he says, were thus enabled to take that food to females. They’d evolved a way to pitch woo and bring home the bacon. By this stage in evolution, sexual dimorphism had been diminished, too, and so had other signs of male-on-male competition. Taken together, Lovejoy wrote in Science, these data points suggest “a major shift in life-history strategy [that] transformed the social structure of early hominids.” Males and females had started pairing off, and dads learned how to support their families.
A computation-minded researcher at the University of Tennessee, Sergey Gavrilets, finished up a study in May of how that transition might have followed the laws of natural selection. It’s not an easy puzzle. Gavrilets explains that a polygynous mating scheme can lead to a “vicious circle” where males waste their time and energy in fighting over females. The group might be better off if everyone split off into happy, hetero-pairs and worked on caring for their babies. But once you’ve started wars for sex, there’s an evolutionary push to keep them going. So Gavrilets set up a computer model to see if any movement toward monogamy might conform to what we know of evolution. He found that a shift in female preference for mates that offer food and child care could have made it happen. (Low-ranked males might also favor relationships with partners that didn’t cheat.)
Gavrilets says he needs to check his model against a few more theories of how human-style partnerships evolved—including one that involves the invention of cooked food. But he’s made the case, at least, that biology could lead to modern love, without any help from law or custom. “Culture came much later,” he told a reporter in the spring, “and only augmented things that were already in place.”
That’s one idea, but the study of monogamy takes all kinds. Others have been more interested in the culture and the customs. In January, a scholar named Joe Henrich published with his colleagues an account of how and why the one-partner system might have spread as a social norm. The paper points out that marriage customs are not the same as mating strategies. (They are related, though: We tend to internalize the rules of the society we live in, so “doing right” becomes its own reward.) The authors argue that when a society gets big enough and sufficiently complex, it’s advantageous for its culture to promote monogamy, or at least monogamishness.
Why? Because polygamy causes problems. Henrich, et al., review a large amount of evidence to support the claim that the multiwife approach leaves lots of men unmarried and so inclined to act in risky, angry ways. These bachelors are a menace: They increase the rates of crime and conflict, and lower productivity. In China, for example, a preference for male babies skewed the gender ratio quite dramatically from 1988 to 2004. In that time, the number of unmarried men nearly doubled, and so did crime. In India, murder rates track with male-to-female ratios across the country’s states. Using these and other data, the authors argue that a culture of monogamy would tend to grow and thrive. It would be the fittest in its niche.
Of course it’s also possible that high rates of conflict lead to cases of polygamy. Walter Scheidel points out that the ancient ban on multimarriage was suspended near the end of the Peloponnesian War, with so many soldiers dead that potential husbands were in short supply. Which raises the tricky question of how monogamy relates to war: Some have argued that pair-bonding leads to larger, stronger armies and more battle-ready people. Henrich, et al., suggest the opposite, that men with wives are less inclined to go to war, which weakens despots and promotes democracy.
The answer may be something in the middle, as it often is when it comes to the science of monogamy. Some cultures have made the practice into law and others haven’t. Even our human physiology seems undecided on the issue. At every level of analysis, it’s hard to say exactly what we are or how we live. We’re faithful and we’re not. We’re lovers and we’re cheaters.
I am a 21 year old straight male (I think?). I recently learned that men can experience a prostate orgasm and became very intrigued. I then went about researching on how to do it safely for first-timers. My curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to try it.
I went on craigslist to see if I could find another straight male to maybe explore with. It didn’t take me long to find someone who said he was in the same position as me and also wanted to explore. We met up and decided to go forward with our plan. We planned on taking a shower together and lather each other up with soap so we’d be clean, just in case either of us were grossed out about smells or any accidents that could happen. He lathered my ass up and started by sticking his penis in me. Everything after this point is pretty much a big blur that I don’t remember very well.
Anyways, I think he found my prostate pretty quickly. It was like nothing I ever felt before. He was being kind of rough and I felt this stabbing sensation that made me feel like I was going to have an accident. Soon I became very light headed, and my vision became blurry. I instantly asked him to stop and tried to control myself. I stood there holding on to the sides of the showers, trying to settle down.
Next thing I knew I was on the floor. I realized there was running water on me. Then I remembered what happened. I fainted. I quickly got out of the shower and dried off. The guy I was with was already getting dressed and freaking out about something being wrong. I got in my bed and just laid there thinking about what happened. The other guy didn’t really console me and left quickly. I think my fainting really scared him.
I did some Google searches afterwards, trying to find someone with my experience, but I came up empty. I just want to know what happened. Why did it happen?
Now I’ve come to you guys. Does anyone have an idea why I may have fainted? It’s only the second time in my life I fainted. The first one was after I ran into a pole, at least that one made sense. fainted during anal sex fainted during anal sex fainted during anal sex fainted during anal sex