This story is a bit funny because recently we’ve reached out to a few companies with media inquiries regarding their products. Our goal was to get more content for our review section. Of course we start contacting companies we considered to be the most popular, Doc Johnson easily in the top 3. With that being said, we sent the public relations department an email and told them a little about our website and past reviews. Within a few hours we received a response. Little did we know, we had already reviewed a product of theirs: Realistic Vagina – The Pocket Pussy. The email response had the following quoted:
So, Venice and I have found the worst sex toy ever. The pocket pussy. What started off as a simple curiosity, turned into me experiencing the midget’s version of a Fleshlight. Worst toy ever.
Yea, so pretty much, not a great start. However, in The Pocket Pussy’s defense, those quotes were from our original review, which we had edited a few months later when I revisited the sleeve on my own one night (self snitching). Originally I was using The Pocket Pussy like a Fleshlight, which meant I was leaving it inside the container it’s stored in. Because of the small size, that absolutely didn’t work. After I took it out of the hard container and used it as a sleeve (holding the soft material in my hand), I rewrote the review in a more positive light and turned the old review into a quote. However, we’d look like jackasses explaining that to the Doc Johnson’s public relation person, so we just left things how they were and took the L(oss). There is no way we were going to admit to being sex toy inept.
So we marked Doc Johnson off our list and started looking for less popular companies maybe we haven’t already given bad reviews to, such as, “Big Silly Willies Trailer Park Toys — we also make silicone beer holders!“
A few weeks later we get a box in the mail from Doc Johnson. How did I know it was from Doc Johnson? Because every corner of the box was taped up with large writing that said Doc Johnson all over it.
So yea, our mailman knows what’s up now.
Not really sure what was inside it, I held the box up to my ear and listened for a ticking sound, just to make sure it wasn’t some sort of time bomb or explosive vagina device. You never know, our review of their Pocket Pussy was pretty harsh.
……..Worst toy ever.
As I opened the package, those words echoed in my head. “Worst toy ever. Worst toy ever. Worst toy ever.” Venice stood back against the wall covering both of her ears.