I’ve recently discovered the joys of creampies. Ok, not quite recently. I know what they are as I’ve seen them in a few porns. And to be honest, I thought it was pretty disgusting. But for those of you who aren’t aware of what a creampie is, lemme ‘splain. A cream pie is when a man ejaculates in a vagina and the semen seeps out. Similarly, an anal creampie is the same, only it comes out of her bootay. So when the semen comes out, it looks like, you guessed it, a creampie.
At first I really didn’t care for creampies. The 11-year-old me who just got through the mandatory Sex Ed week in grade school would to overthink it: “Oh my god, what if the porn star gets pregnant? Will she know which guy got her pregnant? How many guys will she have to do a paternity test for?” Yes, those were all thoughts that have actually gone through my mind as I jill off to creampie videos. Now, however, as a normal, everyday watcher of porn, it turns me on. I no longer see it as something perverted. And I definitely do not get worried about porn stars unintentionally becoming mothers. I still think of it as a random guy marking a nobody’s body as his territory, but now, creampies have a whole new different connotation.
And because I watch a lot of porn, I’ve become well-trained on how to spot a pre-emptive creampie. The guy will turn the chick so that she’s on all fours (because that’s the best camera angle to show a creampie). He will keep fucking her either in her ass of vagina, and will continue to do so until he cums. When he does, his balls will tighten up and his pace will quicken. He knows when he’s about to orgasm. Even though it feels the best to stick his dick all the way in her when he cums, he will refrain from doing this and cum as shallow as possible, even go so far as to pulling out all the way except for his head. This ensures that more of his semen will come out for the creampie. My favorite is when she pushes out the white ooze into a fancy little glass goblet (which the production assistant probably got from TJ Maxx because they’ve got fabulous deals; I don’t really care for the plastic ice cream bowls you get 4 for $1 at Wal-Mart during the summer months, that’s so tacky) and she drinks the semen. That takes swallowing to a whole new level and is up there with cum swapping, only you do it with yourself.