As most of you know, I love the vagina just as much as I love Ryan’s penis. Which is a lot. So I decided to draft a list from various sources, as well as from my own experience, and share it on our blog. Originally when I compiled the list I ended up with 50 different Fun Facts About The Vagina. Actually, some may not be “facts”, as there are unique vaginas and situations that do not follow with what different studies suggest. If that is the case, fix your broken vagina.
As I reworked the list to put things in a certain order, I decided to let Ryan look over what I had. He suggested commenting on each fun fact, whether it be silly or helpful, and break the article down into multiple blogs. So, that’s what I did.
1. Vaginal Erections
During arousal, your lady parts act like his man parts. Most people have read that the clitoris swells with blood when a woman is turned on. It’s not just the clitoris though, it is also the labia minora. The labia minora contains erectile tissue that gets slightly stiffer when things heat up. The reasons for this go back to when you were a fetus with androgynous parts. “We all start out with the same tissues in that area,” says Shelly Holmstrom, MD, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of South Florida at Tampa.
Ryan: Dat pic doe?
Venice: So ladies, the next time you get turned on, stand up and beat your labias against his face.
Ryan: I’ve been given multiple fat lips and black eyes from Venice slamming her labias against my soft gentle face.
Venice: I have to toughen you up just in case you end up in prison.
2. Swimming with the Sharks.
The vagina produces a lubricant that is made of the same organic compound that is found in shark liver oil called squalene. Squalene derived from sharks is sometimes added to moisturizers and skin creams, where it acts as an emollient.
Ryan: I guess that explains why my face is always so gentle and soft.
Venice: Mine too.
Venice: Anyway, no more buying lotion for me. When I froth I will just rub it on my thighs and knees.
Ryan: … and I’ll enjoy the smell and taste much more.
3. Silly Silicone
Silicone lubricants may be right for you but not for your toys. Gynecologists like Chicago’s Lauren Streicher, MD, recommend silicone-based lubricants over water-based ones because they feel more natural, last much longer and doesn’t usually contain propylene glycol, which is a potential irritant. However, silicone lubricant can compromise the integrity of vibrators and other sex toys that also contain silicone, and can cause them to change shape or break down.
Venice: So what about saliva? Is that good for my toys? Maybe you should deepthroat my dildo before I use it Ryan?
Ryan: How about no.
Venice: I guess I will stick to Coconut Oil for my toys.
4. A Tampon a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
Menstrual blood may be a lifesaver. For years, scientists have been trying to find a medically helpful use for menstrual blood, which contains stem cells that have the ability to regenerate. The latest, most exciting research: cells from this all-too-readily-available blood are currently being tested to see if they can help patients with heart failure.
Venice: See Ryan, you can eat me out on my period and protect yourself from heart failure.
Ryan: Not really sure how to reply to that.
Venice: Maybe dunk my old tampon into a glass of warm water like tea or something?
Ryan: Yea, I pretty much like knowing we’ll have no more readers reading this blog again. It’s refreshing.
Venice: Oh god, isn’t the vagina wonderful. I should use this information about period blood and do a huge article on why men should enjoy a woman the most when they are menstruating. Stem cells re-energizes you, make you feel younger, and also help with heart failure. You know, like the article like you did about the positive affects of semen and anal sex. It really did promote more anal sex, which was your agenda. Maybe I should push my agenda.
Ryan: And your agenda is?
Venice: When women are on their periods, me should bow before us and sing like an angels as our thrombocytes drip onto your tongues.
Ryan: What the fuck?
Venice: I know, I lost you at the thrombocyte part. Those are blood cells whose function is to stop bleeding.
Ryan: Ha, yea, that’s what I was saying ‘what the fuck’ to for sure. By the way, that anal article is by far our most popular blog. I’ve helped men all over the world convince their otherwise reluctant wives to bend over and take one for the team.
5. The Dangers of Shaving
Shaving and waxing the bikini area can cause micro-trauma — even when it doesn’t hurt. The process of hair removal causes tiny nicks and abrasions that can allow bacteria to get under the skin and cause infections, explains Susan Taylor, MD, a Philadelphia-based dermatologist and the author of Brown Skin. The micro-trauma caused by Brazilian waxes, especially, can boost the risk of a pox-like viral infection called molluscum contagiosum, suggests a small study published online in the journal Sexually Transmitted Infections. Don’t share razors—and consider holding off sexual contact until a day or two after a wax (longer if you have visible bumps or wounds).
Ryan: Razor bumps can also turn into staph infections. Any time you have razor bumps there are risks (lather up and use a good razor), but the risks are much higher when you have have skin to skin contact. This is why staph is so prevalent in wrestling.
Venice: Thank you Dr. Ryan. I know I want to be totally smooth when I hook up with another girl, but I definitely suggest shaving a day or two prior to any hook ups. Minimize your risks, no matter how “clean” you think your partner may be.
6. Vagina Abuse
Sex can also cause micro-trauma — even when it feels great. A normal, enjoyable bout of sex can still result in small scrapes or tears to the internal tissue, says Holmstrom. “Unfortunately for us, that’s why women are so much more likely than straight men to get STIs,” she says. Condoms are your best protection against STIs (besides abstinence, obviously), but as fans of the show Girls know, even they aren’t foolproof against HPV and genital ulcers, which can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.
Venice: Trust me on this one, 30 minutes of penis is all I need.
Ryan: Good thing, because 30 minutes is all I have!
Venice: Ha! I’ve trained you well. I remember in the beginning you would fuck me so hard and long it felt like my vagina was being slashed with razor blades.
Venice: Yea, I would moan and just take it. Even if lubricated properly, too much friction is still intense. When I was young and naive I thought a good girl should just lay there and take it.
Ryan: Should I say sorry now or what?
Venice: No, just remember, slow and deep makes this girl orgasm, and I don’t need more than 30 minutes of penetration, ever.
Ryan: For our readers, every girl is different. Figure out what your limits are and communicate with your lover. Do NOT just lay there and “take it like a man” because you’ve read articles or heard that the longer a man goes, the better in bed he is.
Venice: Exactly. The more a man listens to what you want and enjoy, the better he is in bed.
7. The Sweaty Vagina
Sweating down there isn’t only normal; it provides a necessary function.Just below the skin of the labia and clitoral hood are hundreds of tiny glands that secrete oil and sweat. This can protect your delicate areas from friction and overheating.
Ryan: This cannot protect your vagina from smelling. If it sweats, wash it.
Venice: That’s what I’m saying…
Ryan: What about that one girl we met that said she enjoys smelling sweat on another woman?
Venice: Too bad, she can enjoy it on someone else. I’m washing off thoroughly before any sexual activity. Unless you know your partner well, I suggest you do the same. I don’t mind Ryan’s sweat, but I’ve lived with him for half my life.
Ryan: So what are you saying. You love giving me blow jobs after a long day doing yard work?
Ryan: Don’t even try it Mrs. “Eat Me On My Period Because My Stem Cells Are Healthy, Article Coming Soon, 2014.”
Venice: … and until they find stem cells in your sweat, you’re hoping your grass smelling balls in the shower first.
Ryan: Hah! Well, grass does have stem cells. Technically.
Venice: Straws. Reaching. Try again.
8. Wet Panties
It’s normal for premenopausal women to have daily discharge. The vagina can produce an average of a teaspoon of discharge a day, and it’s often white or transparent and odorless. Just before the ovulation phase of your menstrual cycle, this discharge will probably be more watery and elastic, and there will seem to be much more of it. If it bothers you, try a sanitary pad (and if you notice anything unusual — odor, discomfort, etc. — talk to your doctor).
Ryan: I’m slowly falling out of love with vaginas.
Venice: I’m not.
9. The Carpets Match the Drapes
Hair around your vagina really does tend to be the same color as the hair on your head, but it will never be as long. The growth phase of pubic hair is much shorter than that of hair on your head. While hair on your head can live up to seven years, pubic hair has a life expectancy of about three weeks, which is why it only grows so long. So don’t worry if you opt not to groom your pubes — you won’t need to braid them any time soon.
Ryan: It’s a fact that Asian women’s pubic hair has a life expectancy of a year, not 3 weeks.
Venice: Uh huh, a fact from where?
Ryan: I’ve done my research.
Venice: Oh so basically internet porn and random message boards?
Ryan: Yea, pretty much. Like I said, fact.
10. Size Does Matter
Just as petals range in size from buttercup to orchid, the length of the inner labia, or labia minora, can be between 3/4 inch and 2 1/3 inch (a much broader range than most of us realize), according to a classic study published in the early 1900s in the journal American Gynecology, and every gynecologist we’ve ever talked to says there’s no good medical, hygienic or aesthetic reason to be self-conscious of yours.
Venice: Ryan, in your opinion does size matter?
Ryan: Aesthetically? I’d say the smaller the labias the more attractive. But that is totally subjective. I am sure some guys love the look of huge lips.
Venice: What about physically?
Ryan: You know my opinion. The bigger and fuller the lips, the more friction it creates. The more friction, the better it feels to me. The best example I can give is with anal sex. Yes, it’s much tighter than any vagina I have ever felt, but the lack of friction and creates much less sensation. Without the lips rubbing against my shaft and head, it isn’t as fulfilling.
Venice: Interesting for sure. What about the insides of the vagina? Does it feel the same as say the inside of my ass?
Ryan: No. The inside of the vagina has so much more texture and sensation. Also, not being quite as tight gives your inner ridges a chance to actually massage my penis.
Venice: So aesthetically, smaller lips are more attractive to you. However, physically, the larger lips feel better.
Ryan: Yea, pretty much.
Venice: Very interesting. For alot of women, it’s the exact opposite. Aesthetically the huge penis is much more desirable, while an average or slightly above average penis is much less painful and more enjoyable to a lot of us.