As you may or may not already know, Ryan and I have been talking about opening up our bedroom and me being with another woman. Like any strong and open couple, we discussed our fantasies, boundaries, and how we would go about making this a reality. We took small steps, i.e., not jumping into hard swinging, talking to others who’ve been down the same road as us, and discussing the best ways to go about finding a third, to ensure we didn’t do anything we’d regret later.
Our journey to find a third to join us in the bedroom has been more entertaining then the experience itself could ever be. Although there is anticipation, let downs, and mini build-ups with each person we talk with, in the end, the time Ryan and I spend together discussing is worth the emotional roller coaster.
We’ve received offers via our blog and a few dating websites and we try to screen each person the best we can, prior to ever talking to them. And then, AFTER talking to them, we’re forced to be more blunt and straightforward as far as letting people know exactly what we’re looking for.
Location is the key, they must be close. It seemed that people wanted to be able to “fuck on a whim” and to be ready when the time came. Then there were the more trickier parts: offers from married women and the married women wanting me to have a threesome with her and her husband (which is basically 99% of every offer), single ladies but only lesbian, married but more into sending pictures than actually meeting, and of course, the very small percentage of women actually interested and comfortable with dealing with a couple.
When we first started blogging about losing my girlginity, it generated a lot of interest and even some offers from bi ladies interested in being my first. I let it be known that even though we wouldn’t technically be adding a third person into our relationship, I still wanted to get to know the woman as a person and not be hit-it-and-quit-it. We didn’t want to come off as picky, just careful. Over time we continued receiving propositions, and although we were flattered, we screened each one. It was a daunting, but fun task because we got to see the range of ladies (married, single, dating, younger, older, etc.) who were looking to experience another woman and/or a married couple. We were very interested and eager, but there was always something about each of them that just set off a red flag.
A few months ago, I took a huge leap and called a bi woman who agreed to talk to me on the phone. She was one of our first major prospects (first woman I’ve called) and one who Ryan and I have now labeled Ms. Flaky. When I decided to make that call to Ms. Flaky, Ryan and I were sitting outside waiting for our steaks to marinate. This is our relaxed environment. The weather was nice so I made us a few drinks and I was ready to call. My call had two purposes: to verify that she was really a female and not a man pretending to be woman, and to ask more questions that were just too tedious to discuss through texts or e-mail. She was able to verify all the information, specifically, is it really a female or some pervert pretending to be one. I require this confirmation because I don’t want to talk to guy pretending to be a girl or a girl who’s talking only to please her man (usually people give off a vibe if they’re being coerced into doing something they don’t agree to).
At first, I was nervous calling, but I knew it had to be done, and this would be what they call the first step in a journey of a thousand miles. Within seconds, I sensed that she was genuine and not someone who had a phone put into her hand by a controlling man saying, “Just talk for a few minutes.” She was indeed a female, and not only was she a female, a very attractive one. She seemed to be interested in hooking up with a couple, no boundaries. She sent me a picture and I thought she was very cute (probably because of her similar mixed heritage, a plus!). She willingly answered all our questions and was confident in what she wanted. We discussed potential dates to meet, which days would be best for us, etc.
After hanging up, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I sent her a photo of myself, which she said she liked. Then she asked what Ryan looked like. I sent two pictures of him, both of which she approved. That was one of my main concerns, I want the woman to also be attracted to my man. Because what would that look like: being accepting of a woman who doesn’t think my man’s looks or personality are acceptable to her. I want everyone to feel sexy and comfortable.
As time went on, Ms. Flaky would send random morning nude photos and halfway attempt to schedule some sort of meet up. “Maybe we can meet on Sunday?” Yet when asked what time exactly, she’d tell us she would get back to us after she checked her schedule. Sunday would come and go, and we’d maybe get a few photos but nothing regarding what time she would like to meet. Of course I don’t want to seem overly pushy, so I don’t beg for a time, and just play each message by ear. Over the next few weeks, we continued to text. Between texts, she would disappear for a few days, then out of the blue, I’d get another random picture with her soaping up her nude body in the shower. Ms. Flaky was young so she knew how to string along a young guy I suppose. But I, on the other hand, have a husband and family. It maybe took me a few of these sporadic texts to realize she was more into the attention we gave her than us as a couple. Which is okay. But as the days went on, I tended to pay less attention to her, as we had a few other possibilities lining up.
I joked with Ryan about getting back into the dating scene because it had been so long, but that’s what it felt like trying to get to know a person, texting, making that first call, and hearing them talk for the first time. It was exhilarating, hopeful, and thrilling all at the same time. I knew that getting through this first call would make it easier for me to meet and talk to other women. Even if our plans with Ms. Flaky never flourished, we’ve taken this step into a lifestyle as a couple, and are much stronger coming in together than we ever were or ever could ever be. And it is like dating again or almost being sexually reborn. First contact, first texts, first calls, first meet ups, first kisses, and first tastes.
I still get random messages and photos from Ms. Flaky, but that prospect has passed. I will take her cute little photos, but meeting up with her is no longer an option.