Dun dun dun: butt sex. Given the general silence and weirdness that often surrounds the topic, it can be quite intimidating, but never fear ― we’ve got you covered.
We spoke with with licensed sex therapist and Adam & Eve’s resident relationship guru Dr. Kat Van Kirk to debunk the mysteries of anal sex and answer all your prying questions about the backdoor business.
“A lot of women don’t talk about anal sex because there’s still a stigma with it,” Van Kirk said. “There’s a lot that’s misunderstood.”
So, we’ve decided to clear it up for you. Below are 13 things every woman should know before trying butt sex:
1. Start on your own.
The key to enjoying anal sex, Van Kirk said, is being comfortable with your body and what feels good to you. Her first tip? Try it on your own.
“I usually suggest women start by incorporating anal play into masturbation using lube and either their fingers or a gloved finger or some sort of anal toy,” she said. “Really just getting comfortable with the sensation on your own will help when you are in bed with your partner.”
2. Be specific when choosing your first toy.
Starting with the right toy is key. While anal beads or butt plugs work well for a first anal toy, Van Kirk suggested something that vibrates. The vibration can be “a familiar sensation,” Van Kirk said, adding that the sensation can ”help to relax the pubococcygeus muscles which wrap in a figure eight around the vaginal opening and around the anus.”
Van Kirk suggested Adam & Eve’s My First Anal Toy or Booty Bliss Vibrating Beads. If you’re looking to take it up just a notch, she also suggested Adam & Eve’s Beginner’s Backdoor Kit or Booty Boot Camp Training Kit.
Being safe and smart about what you’re using is very important. “You never want to insert anything anally that doesn’t either have a loop to pull out or a flared based because that is how you end up in the ER,” Van Kirk said. “You want to be able to get it out.”