Review: Full Automatic Piston and Wriggle Rotation Male Masturbator

Review: Full Automatic Piston and Wriggle Rotation Male Masturbator

Well, other than a Fleshlight, I have never really tried any male masturbator toy.   After my first experience with an automatic masturbation machine, I am extremely interested in trying more!   As a couple that reviews products, there are a lot of things your partner can do while you use this toy on your penis.  Later in our review we will go over how we used it together!

First things first.  I opened the box, which was sent to me by Secrexy, direct from Hong Kong.  If you are from the United States and deal with shipping from overseas, you already know that it may take a bit longer for your product to arrive.  However, it does arrive, and I am sure glad it did!  The first thing I thought when I hit the power switch was:

Omg, it is a Kanye album in a box!

No, I don’t mean this masturbator was a weird black man in a box yelling at me about how he is a genius and I should appreciate him more for his fashion ideas.   I mean it has flashing lights!

After I started playing with the buttons and seeing how things would pump, spin, twirl, thrust, light up, sparkle, and dance in my lap, I totally changed my mind and thought of this:

So, if you want to put your penis through the above situation, this is the toy for you!   And I mean that in every single way.

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Review: Balls Deep 9 Inch Stroker Pussy by Doc Johnson

0684_30_bxThis story is a bit funny because recently we’ve reached out to a few companies with media inquiries regarding their products.  Our goal was to get more content for our review section.  Of course we start contacting companies we considered to be the most popular, Doc Johnson easily in the top 3.   With that being said, we sent the public relations department an email and told them a little about our website and past reviews.  Within a few hours we received a response.  Little did we know, we had already reviewed a product of theirs: Realistic Vagina – The Pocket Pussy.  The email response had the following quoted:

So, Venice and I have found the worst sex toy ever.  The pocket pussy. What started off as a simple curiosity, turned into me experiencing the midget’s version of a Fleshlight.  Worst toy ever.

Yea, so pretty much, not a great start.  However, in The Pocket Pussy’s defense, those quotes were from our original review, which we had edited a few months later when I revisited the sleeve on my own one night (self snitching).  Originally I was using The Pocket Pussy like a Fleshlight, which meant I was leaving it inside the container it’s stored in.  Because of the small size, that absolutely didn’t work.  After I took it out of the hard container and used it as a sleeve (holding the soft material in my hand), I rewrote the review in a more positive light and turned the old review into a quote. However, we’d look like jackasses explaining that to the Doc Johnson’s public relation person, so we just left things how they were and took the L(oss).   There is no way we were going to admit to being sex toy inept.

So we marked Doc Johnson off our list and started looking for less popular companies maybe we haven’t already given bad reviews to, such as, “Big Silly Willies Trailer Park Toys — we also make silicone beer holders!

A few weeks later we get a box in the mail from Doc Johnson.  How did I know it was from Doc Johnson? Because every corner of the box was taped up with large writing that said Doc Johnson all over it.

So yea, our mailman knows what’s up now.

Not really sure what was inside it, I held the box up to my ear and listened for a ticking sound, just to make sure it wasn’t some sort of time bomb or explosive vagina device.  You never know, our review of their Pocket Pussy was pretty harsh.

……..Worst toy ever.

As I opened the package, those words echoed in my head.  “Worst toy ever.  Worst toy ever.  Worst toy ever.” Venice stood back against the wall covering both of her ears.

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Review: Realistic Vagina ( The Pocket Pussy )

$(KGrHqFHJBkFBRkuV0(lBRyPKrQ(yw~~60_12Unlike the Fleshlight, this realistic vagina is made to be taken out of its container. It’s more like a masturbation sleeve, not really a Fleshlight you can hold or shove between the matress.  Without knowing it was just a sleeve and only having experience with an actual Fleshlight (which this thing mimics, just much smaller), we originally tried the product by keeping it inside it’s container.  Dumb choice.  Here is the original review:

So, Venice and I have found the worst sex toy ever.  The pocket pussy. What started off as a simple curiosity, turned into me experiencing the midget’s version of a Fleshlight.  Worst toy ever. Honestly, the item comes from China so it’s possible it may be much more useful over there.  However, it really is too small for a guy with an average sized penis.  If you are over 5″ in circumference, getting your penis inside this thing is nearly impossible.  There just isn’t enough room for the flesh-like rubber to stretch inside the tube.  Multiple times while Venice gave me a hand job she would try to slide my penis inside the tube, and instead of going in the mini vagina slot (lubricated properly), it slide over top of it and slammed into the edge of the container.  Screaming and having flashbacks of slicing a few onions (Venice said I was crying but I don’t think that was the case) followed.  My advice to anyone thinking about buying a pocket pussy, stay away.  It isn’t worth the possible injuries.  If you are a teenager and on a dry spell, I’d suggest buying a loaf of bread and throwing some warm jelly in it.

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