Review: Smart Wand ™ by LELO

Smart WandIs there any vibrator that can match the Hitachi Magic Wand? This is probably the biggest challenge known to vibrators. No matter what design the sex industry comes up with, nothing can really come close to the vibrator that changed dresser drawers forever. Instead of the double AA battery powered, vanilla colored, tiny penis shaped vibrator that every woman used to hide in her panties drawer (you are lucky if you didn’t live this era of vibratordom), women have now added a back massager named Hitachi to their bedrooms. No longer did our vibrators have to be hidden in dressers, because the Hitachi Wand was a double agent, and could also pose as a simple back massager. Although everyone knew what it was really for, the idea that there is a small possibility that it could be used for a bad back, kept everyone happy and quiet. It also wasn’t shaped like a small penis. And as we all know, nothing shaped like a small penis, including a small penis, is any good.

LELO_Insignia_SMART-WAND-L_product-1_black_2x_1So has LELO found a replacement for our double agent? I guess that depends on if your friends will believe you own a back massager that looks like it was designed for a queen. The Smart Wand ™ is gorgeous. The problem is, I’d be pissed off if I caught Ryan in the room trying to massage his back with it!

<Back Massager Nazi> NO BACK MASSAGER FOR YOU!

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Review: Tiani™ 24K by LELO

LELO_Insignia_Tiani_24k_packaging_shot_black_xWell, LELO and it’s customer service are bar none, the best we’ve worked with. Their items? The best we’ve played with. The Tiani™ 24K is no exception. Now, the 24K edition of this toy is not yet released (it should be released after this review has been published). It’s absolutely stunning. Truthfully, sex toys really shouldn’t be this beautiful, because it really only takes Ryan and I just a few minutes to get our cum all over them.  But let’s get to the Tiani™.  You’ve probably seen a very popular design that resembles the Tiani™. Yes, I am talking about the We-Vibe, which we personally didn’t have a great experience with. So you’re probably wondering why we would review a toy very similar in design. Because  you should buy the Tiani™ rather than the We-Vibe. Well let me say, We-Vibe had a great idea, with mediocre implementation.  LELO fixed what was my biggest issue with the We-Vibe, comfort.

LELO_Insignia_Tiani_24k_Product_Black_2xBeing familiar with the design meant we needed very little prep time for this review session. I came out of the shower and looked at Ryan already on the bed slowly stroking his semi erect penis. He was already lubed up so we were ready to go. I came over to the bed and grabbed his penis and started stroking it for him. As I would switch hands, I would rub the free hand, now moist with lubrication from Ryan’s dick, on my own vagina to make sure the Tiani™ could easily slide inside me. The only problem? Ryan felt too erect.  Yes, too erect. We have been together for over 17 years and if his dick is too hard, it can be extremely uncomfortable for me. You’d think after all these years my insides would have morphed to match with his penis like a puzzle, but a majority of the time Ryan is at about 85%, where his penis still has flexibility. This slight give in his penis is what feels the most comfortable for me. However, when I orgasm through penetration, it’s usually due to the deep pain and rough sensations I need when I am horny. Sometimes I love the punishment, sometimes I don’t. Tonight, it has me a bit tensed up because I’m not in the mood to have my insides destroyed. I getmy penetration orgasms are always due to the stabbing deep pain. Why does sex have to be so complex? so it has some give while inside my body. When he has his high school erection, it’s like being fucked by a large wooden stick that just destroys my insides no matter how much we lubricate. Not that sex is overrated, but sex with a penis that has no give is extremely overrated for me, especially from certain angles.

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Review: Hugo by LELO (Prostate Massager)

LELO_Insignia_HUGO_product-1_black_2x_1Oh how I hate to do a mediocre review to a product that seems so well thought out, nicely packaged, and almost like a sex toy for royalty. However, my anus seems to be that of a common man, made only for a lady’s tongue or the tip of her finger.   The Hugo by LELO just wasn’t for me.

Hugo_Packaging_shot_Black_1000_0So yesterday we received a lovely package from LELO. Although we have never tried a LELO product, we definitely will in the future. Their mailing packaging is discrete, and their product packaging is classy and sexy.  In fact, seeing the box wrapped in a cute cloth bag made me want to do an “unboxing” for YouTube.  It really is nice.  Almost like a Samsung Galaxy unboxing for your anus.

So before I start, here is a little bit of “too much information” about me. I have a very sensitive prostate and have had prostatitis in the past. My prostatitis (an inflammation of the prostate) was onset by riding a dirt bike through a rough field for hours.  This irritated my prostate and I had to be on antibiotics for months. Since then, I have been especially careful with anything that I feel can be harmful to my prostate area.  A powerful vibrator on the prostate can possibly cause inflammation, especially if you have a sensitive prostate.  However, it works both ways, because a prostate massage can actually be helpful when the prostate is full (clogged).  So I guess this is a case of having to pick your poison carefully. Being that it feels so good and I have always enjoyed a finger, I will risk it.

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