Q&A: I have physical orgasms, but not mental. Is there more?

orgasmI am a 27 year old female and I think I orgasm. I have the physical feeling, wetness, waves of heat, vaginal clenches. It builds and releases like a sneeze but that’s it. I feel like I’m missing something, should something be happening in my mind? Some explosion, earth moving, angels singing moment? Am I broken? Is there a physical problem? I’m in a serious relationship and very much turned on by my partner and I love having sex I just feel there should be more. Please help. female orgasms female orgasms female orgasms

Venice’s response:
I can see how you feel like you’re missing something in your orgasms. But everything you described, the physical feeling, wetness, waves of heat, and vaginal clenches, is all part of the orgasmic experiences. It’s not a one, clear-cut moment that defines an orgasm, it’s a combination of events and phases that make an orgasm (YOUR orgasm) one that you achieve with your partner. You’re not alone in feeling like something is “missing.” Women in general have been duped, or misled rather, into believing so many media-driven misconceptions.

Myth: When a woman orgasms, she will have an earth-shattering experience that will cause her to scream in her lover’s ear, i.e. “When Harry Met Sally” diner scene. And the louder she is, the better her lover was in bed.

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Q&A: Are You Satisfied Without Having Orgasms?

orgasmThis Question and Answer is a bit different because I am responding to a comment from a recent blog: Sexcapades – Pillow Talk.

As I typed my answer I realized it was a bit long winded so I decided it deserved a blog of its own.  It’s a great question.

[pullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”#8a2714″ class=”” size=””]Would you mind explaining this dynamic further? Do you do this often? While it’s certainly described as pleasurable for you, are you satisfied without having an orgasm?[/pullquote]

Venice’s response:
I can orgasm whenever I want. Whether it be before, during, or afterwards. What’s interesting is, I usually have plateaus inside of my vagina (this drug-like “high” feeling) that makes my cervix muscles twitch while I am being fucked. Almost like mini orgasms that can happen in almost any position, at almost any time, and with or without purposeful provocation or stimulation. Maybe that’s why sex feels so physically good for me. I guess I do not write about them because it’s not as important to me. What was more important and sexy for me in Sexcapades – Pillow Talk, was the experience. When being dominated or taken, it’s about being used, not counting my orgasms. I’ll try to explain it better below.

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