10 Things A Man Should Not Say To Woman On A First Date

FearPublicSpeakingFor fun, Venice and I have created a list of 10 things a man should not say on her first date. If you have not already seen our previous blog, 10 Things You Should Not Say To A Man On A First Date, check it out now.  If you have some things you think a woman shouldn’t say on her first date, please add them to the comment box below.

10.  So I’ve been looking in your window for a few years now, it’s  good to finally see what you look like when you are not sleeping.

9. Do you think I should buy the pregnancy test now or in a few weeks?

8. I’m on a super win streak lately.  I was 50% on my first 4 STD clinic visits, but since then, I have been at least 20 more times and haven’t had an STD yet.  BOO-YA!

7. Hey, thanks for picking me up.  Is there anyway we can just download a bootleg of the new movie and stay at my house for the night?  I’m on house arrest and I’m trying to get my life right.  Be the angel that saves me.

6. Oh god, your heels and outfit look amazing.  Maybe later tonight I can try them on myself?

5. Well, first, I’d like to openly admit that I think edible condoms are absolutely delicious…especially if they’ve already been used.

4.  Sorry I’m late, I had to make a quick stop at Home Depot to buy some duct tape, rope, and a saw.  Home improvement stuff.

3.  Don’t look now, but that is my ex boyfriend sitting over there.   In about 10 seconds, can you naturally look over and tell me if he is watching me?

2.  Reach out and hold her hand with a smile.  “I just masturbated a few minutes before I picked you up so later if you want to cuddle, don’t worry, I won’t try to get fresh with you.”

1.  Listen, you pay for this meal and I will earn it back later at your place.  Deal?

Bonus:

I am all for gay marriage, but my last husband couldn’t handle it.

Want to snort lines off my dick with me?

I hope you aren’t the type of woman that is insecure about the fact that I can probably suck dick better than you.  I’ve been called a natural.

I don’t think R. Kelly peeing on girls is really all that bad.

I have first hand…and mouth knowledge that at least 2 of the New Kids on the Block members were gay.   Or at least that night they were.

Have you ever been air tight back stage at a rock concert?  I have.

 

10 Things A Woman Should Not Say To A Man On A First Date

hiding2For fun, Ryan and I have created a list of 10 things a woman should not say on her first date.  We will post our “10 Things a Man Shouldn’t Say” in our next blog.  If you have some things you think a woman shouldn’t say on her first date, please add them to the comment box below.

10. “Although I’ve had a lot of one night stands, I decided that wasn’t who I was anymore.  I’m a reborn virgin.  In fact, I don’t plan on kissing another man until after I am married.  I’m so glad I met you!”

9. “Well, 3 of my kids are horrible…but hey, at least that is only a 50% bad to good ratio right?!”

8. “Well, my current husband is in prison because he murdered one of my boyfriends.  I’m trying to save money to post bond.”

7. “Well, I for one would rather swallow than have some strange man’s semen all over my shirt.  You know?”

6. “I knew when I first saw you pull up I wanted to marry you.  Let’s just do it now!”

Continue reading