13 Things Every Woman Should Know Before Trying Butt Sex

Dun dun dun: butt sex. Given the general silence and weirdness that often surrounds the topic, it can be quite intimidating, but never fear ― we’ve got you covered.

We spoke with with licensed sex therapist and Adam & Eve’s resident relationship guru Dr. Kat Van Kirk to debunk the mysteries of anal sex and answer all your prying questions about the backdoor business. 

“A lot of women don’t talk about anal sex because there’s still a stigma with it,” Van Kirk said. “There’s a lot that’s misunderstood.”

So, we’ve decided to clear it up for you. Below are 13 things every woman should know before trying butt sex: 

1. Start on your own.  

The key to enjoying anal sex, Van Kirk said, is being comfortable with your body and what feels good to you. Her first tip? Try it on your own.

“I usually suggest women start by incorporating anal play into masturbation using lube and either their fingers or a gloved finger or some sort of anal toy,” she said. “Really just getting comfortable with the sensation on your own will help when you are in bed with your partner.” 

2. Be specific when choosing your first toy. 

Starting with the right toy is key. While anal beads or butt plugs work well for a first anal toy, Van Kirk suggested something that vibrates. The vibration can be “a familiar sensation,” Van Kirk said, adding that the sensation can ”help to relax the pubococcygeus muscles which wrap in a figure eight around the vaginal opening and around the anus.”

Van Kirk suggested Adam & Eve’s My First Anal Toy or Booty Bliss Vibrating Beads. If you’re looking to take it up just a notch, she also suggested Adam & Eve’s Beginner’s Backdoor Kit or Booty Boot Camp Training Kit. 

Being safe and smart about what you’re using is very important. “You never want to insert anything anally that doesn’t either have a loop to pull out or a flared based because that is how you end up in the ER,” Van Kirk said. “You want to be able to get it out.”

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Random Moments With Us – Caught Lube Handed

Coconut OilLast week I went to the drug store to pick up some coconut oil. I prefer the drug store because it has the brand we know and trust and it comes in a big container. We have another brand of the same size, but I’m just not happy with it.

After finding the coconut oil, I hand it to the cashier, thinking nothing of my purchase. She scans the tub and looks at it for a moment as a man approaches the register and waits beside me. “I’m looking at this because…” she begins to say and looks at me. “Now, you use this for cooking, right?”

I look at her with paranoid eyes and feel the eyes of the man standing beside me burning a hole into my brain. “Umm…I…umm…” My mind races trying to remember the other uses of coconut oil. But the only things I could think of were sex lube and massage oil.

I must have taken too long to answer because she says, “Because of a friend of mine told me that she uses it to massage her feet.”

“YES!” I exclaim. “That’s what I heard, too. That you can use it as a massage oil.”  She nods her head in agreement and I feel more confident at that moment. I add on to her suggestion and get a little creative, “It’s really good for your skin and hair, too. I just take whatever’s left on my hands and run it through my hair.”

“Ah, okay. I’m thinking about getting some myself,” she says.

“Yea you should, and it also tastes great. This is our second container because we use so much of it.”

Then I stopped talking, realizing I had probably said too much.  Either this cashier thinks my husband and I use coconut oil as french fry grease to make our fish and fries, or I enjoy eating hair.  I quieting grabbed my bag and removed myself from the store.

…I guess that’s better than her knowing I’ve used two containers as ass lard.

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