Her Perspective on the Anal Butt Plug

Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan's mating call.

Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan’s mating call.

Original Article:  To me, seeing a pink, rubber anal plug is not as sexy as seeing a stainless steel one with a pink or blue diamond-esque cap. There’s nothing wrong with the pink plug – I have one myself. But when I first saw the shiny, metal anal plug, it looked regal, provoking viewers to draw their own conclusions as to what purpose such a fancy piece of metal served

Besides the aesthetic purpose, I assumed that it can also be served as a placeholder for a near future ass-fucking. The actual circumference of the the stem of the smallest plug is approximately the size of a #2 pencil.  So although it’s not too wide around, it can be used to “semi-stretch” myself in preparation for anal sex.  When I found out there were three sizes, I knew it had to be true. Starting with the smallest size and working your way up, all three were meant to stay put. The spade-shape is meant for your sphincter muscle to grasp around the narrowest point. Trust me, that thing is not coming out no matter how hard you push. I have to pull on it tight and my reflex is to squeeze. So there is no danger of it “accidentally coming out” when you’re walking.

When I put it on in the morning, I use a few drops of lube on the tip and swirl it around a few times before working it into my anus. I relax my muscles as I carefully slide it in until it’s nestled comfortably in my body. I alternate tightening and relaxing times in order to lubricate the stem and maneuver the plug into the perfect position. The first day I wore the smallest plug was quite comfortable. It was the outside that was slightly uncomfortable because when I moved around in my chair, the cap would pinch on my butt cheek skin. The next day I wore the second size and not only was the narrowest part slightly wider in circumference, but the entire plug itself pushed in me deeper too. I knew that I had to spend a little more time in stage 2 than I did in stage 1.  Eventually it got to the point to where I’d be lying in bed and I’d ask him to go ahead and put it in me, like I’d just asked him to turn off the light.

But no matter which size I have in, there was one thing that was guaranteed: Ryan was going to get in my ass that night. Wearing it makes me feel sexy and kinky. I have a dirty little secret that only Ryan and I knew about. It reminds me of our intimacy, our open-mindedness, our love of seeking new experiences together. I never dreamt of doing, let alone enjoying, 95% of the things we do. But we grew as a couple, experiencing so many “firsts” together.  I haven’t had many issues with anal sex, especially when I initiate it.  Sometimes my pussy would get so wet when I’d ride him that I’d use my own juices to slide my ass down onto his dick.  I would lift up, smear my wetness on the outside of my hole, and slip down smoothly onto his cock without one single tear. When Ryan sees the little jewel between my ass cheeks, he knows exactly what’s on my mind.  It’s similar to a mating call and a day-long way to turn him on without touching him.  I would even go as far as saying it’s more of a symbolic representation of my sexuality.  Knowing that the plug is in leaves the option of ass-fucking open.  Sometimes we don’t, even if I’ve been wearing it all day.

I haven’t done any research on others’ experiences, but I have made my own discoveries:

Discovery 1:  It’s hard to dry off after I pee at work.   It gets under the jewelry and is hard to dry.  Being at work isn’t the most convenient place to care for a butt plug.

Discovery 2:  There is no need to wear it the day after you have anal sex.  Why?  Because I’d say most dicks are wider than the jewel and for the next few days my anus will be much looser.  This means, the smaller sizes can possibly come out during different situations (see discovery 3).

Discovery 3:  Although your ass muscles are tight and strong, under some circumstances the plug can get pushed out.  For instance, one day I raced into the bathroom after work  only to find Ryan in there.  With my pants already half down and my body ready to release, I knew I couldn’t make it to another bathroom in our house so I jump in the shower, squatted down, and released (yes, I peed in the shower!).  I believe the force of my muscles holding and suddenly relaxing coupled with the squatting position (maybe helping to spread my cheeks) caused the plug to pop out. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t even realize it until I heard the heavy thud beneath me.  This was with a smaller size and the day after having anal sex.  A lot of different variables.

Discovery 4:   When removing the plug make sure you have a moist wipe ready to clean it.  Your anus isn’t the cleanest area on your body so don’t be grossed out if it’s a bit dirty.

I love wearing my plug.  I don’t feel there are any negative outcomes, physically or otherwise, by using one even for the length of a workday.  My only drawback is the limited colors and styles that are available (unlike tongue piercing barbells).  This may be a good thing because I might amass an extensive collection that could require its own bathroom drawer.

A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Sex

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Mentally ready, I relax myself for entry

A common belief still exists in many women today: anal sex is taboo. I’m not saying all women believe this, I’m not saying anal sex is or isn’t taboo. I’m simply stating that once an idea has been embedded into our culture, there will still be people whose minds cannot be changed. The acceptance of anal sex may be one of those ideas. It has been looked down upon, appreciated by those with an anal fetish and directly connected to homosexual men, creating an even more deep-rooted stigma. Now, anal sex is so common: men with men, women with men, and women with women. I dare you to find a porn out there that have some sort of anal penetration.

Before I start, here’s a little background on my old view on analing. As a young lady, I was taught by society and the media that sex and your body is special, and anal sex was something that girls did that was disrespectful to themselves. I firmly believed it. I was afraid of anal sex, wary of it. I protected my rear end and wouldn’t let anyone near it. I snickered at every prison rape joke, but inside I knew that taking someone’s back end was the ultimate form of disrespect. I took this belief to heart into adulthood, and when I got married, it caused problems. It was hard to let go, and when I did, I vowed to only give it to my husband once a year on his birthday. It was that special to me.

As we grew as a married couple, we started to realize that the limitations we put on each other caused resentment that only builds up. The disgruntled feeling toward anal sex was one of the first walls I knew I had to tear down. My feelings went from “I’m doing this once a year to make him happy” to “This isn’t so bad.” From there I realized that Ryan is my soulmate and the “prized possession” (my ass) is something that only hecan have. My ass, my love, my heart –all belong to my husband. Once I realized this, our sex life became the best it’s been. Now, I no longer give him anal sex to begrudgingly make him happy; I do it because I love him, I want to be close to him, and this is a whole new feeling of fantastic sex.

Today, my husband and I have anal sex 5 or 6 times a week, give or take. Sometimes I even prefer it to vaginal sex because of the sensations and stimulation I feel in my ass. If you’re thinking about trying anal sex but were afraid to, here are a few things to keep in mind: 

anal sex 02

Being well lubed and relaxed is the key

1. Relax your body and mind. If your mindset is still, Anal sex is gross and I’ll never like this, then guess what –you’re going to have a hard time opening up. It doesn’t help to think of your “happy place.” Your happy place is an imaginary (or real) place where you take your mind in order to bear with the atrocities of the current situation you are in. Anal sex should not be something you would rather avoid by pretending to be in a place you’d rather be. Both your body and mind have to accept analing, not regard it as something that must be endured. Don’t tense up; allow his dick to enter you, take pleasure in the textures and different areas being touched for the first time. It will feel uncomfortable, awkward, and maybe even painful at first, but this new sensation will turn into feelings of pleasure.

2. This is not vaginal sex. And no matter how experienced and careful you are, there is always a chance you will get chafed, torn, ripped. Gentlemen, the same goes for you, too! Sometimes I get so into, I don’t notice until I’m washing off. During the last few minutes of sex, I start talking a lot of shit: “Fuck my ass harder,” “Slam your cock into me,” “Show me how deep you want to cum.” It feels so good! Don’t worry though. You will heal in less than 48 hours. But also remember, this is your body and you should think about anal longevity, not living in the moment.

3. Talk to your partner.  You’ve heard that communication is the key to a good relationship. It’s also the key to a successful anal session. I know my husband isn’t a mind reader, so if I have some reservations about anal sex at that moment, I’m sure to let him know. If I’m sore from going to the bathroom, I tell him before we have sex. If during sex I want him to go slow and deep in my ass and not shallow and fast, I tell him. Talk before you start, during, and afterwards. Was it what you expected? What could each of you have done to make it better? Is it better slower or faster? Listen to each other’s questions and answer honestly. If communicating about analing seems like a stupid idea to you, stop analing or one of you will end up with hurt feelings or a sore ass/dick.

4. Use lube.  Lots of it!  Don’t be afraid to lather it on. There’s nothing worse than not being properly lubricated. Because of the little ridges, you may not even see the tiny tears, but you’ll feel them when you wash. And believe it or not, just because you’re lubricated on the outside doesn’t mean you’re lubricated on the inside. You’ll be able to tell you’re dry on the inside lining because your ass hole is able to glide on the penis skin, but the lining feels like it’s being pulled. I find that anal sex is more enjoyable the more lubricated we are.

Keep it within arm’s reach. Sometimes the bottle will roll off the bed, fall of the table, or get lost in the sheets. It’s bad enough to having to stop in the middle of sex, but even worse when the something you’re looking for to help extend the sex goes missing. Don’t have lube on hand? Use spit. If he is open to it and into you, he won’t have a problem sticking his head in and loosening the rim up a bit then sticking his face down on your ass and wetting the inside with his tongue and spit. As a woman, make sure you communicate to your man that it’s okay if he uses his tongue to lube up. You should know when you are clean or not. And because I say “not clean”, that may gross people out. But anal sex isn’t always CLEAN. Which is why I’d suggest only doing this with someone you love. I’d never suggest ass sex to some random dude. Disgusting on him and her.

 

anal sex 03

Anal sex done properly is amazing

5. Once in the ass, stay there. There isn’t anything wrong with his dick going from your mouth to your pussy or from your pussy to your mouth. They’re interchangeable. But once his dick is in your ass, it’s a different story. Sometimes I get carried away when I’m in my sex zone and I put his dick back in me even though his dick head has been in my ass. I try to avoid it, but occasionally I slip up. Put totally intended. A while back I had a urinary tract infection which I believe came from switching from back door to front door. It was an accident, but your body doesn’t care. Unless you like going to the hospital, sitting in the waiting room, getting tested, sitting in the back waiting room, going to the pharmacy, waiting even more, and taking antibiotics for a week, take the proper precautions. It’s anatomically more difficult for a man to get a urinary tract infection because bacteria takes longer for it to travel up his urethra. But it’s definitely possible. While it’s sexy to go from hole to hole to hole to hole, be careful.

6. Positioning. There is going to be so much going on – you’ll be scared, nervous, you won’t know what to expect, you’ll be afraid of pain, you’ll clench up. All these factors will get in the way. I found that being on my back was the best position for me. I noticed the angle was the best for me. It didn’t hit any curves the wrong way and it just seemed to “hurt the least.” As I became more experienced, I started experimenting being on my stomach, me on top reverse cowgirl, both of us standing. Eventually we were doing all the regular/popular vaginal sex positions, only he was in my ass.

At first I wouldn’t ride him. Now it’s my favorite position. I can control my movement 100%, control depth, speed, how it goes in, and how wet your ass is prior to getting it pushed inside yoru body.

I feel doggy style is a more experienced position.  If I was to take a dick in my ass doggy style, without knowing what it felt like prior, I’d hate anal.  I could never relax wondering when it is going in, or how it is going to feel.  Not to mention, bending over doggy style tightens your asshole beyond its normal tightness.  How easy is it to make a woman scream doggy style when having vaginal sex?  How easy is it to poke her insides especialy hard, because you bottom out so much quicker?   Doggy style is a great position, but it’s not for beginners as it does not give the anus the ability to stretch properly.   This is probably the reason most first timers never do it again.  People see anal sex as something you naturally do in doggy style position, when I feel just the opposite.  Anal sex should be done in your traditional missionary position, so the woman  can relax, watch the penis penetrate, and be comfortable with a position we find ourselves in  a lot while having vaginal  intercourse.   We can also grab him, love on him, whisper in his ear, and get into the act, knowing he will take care of us, in a position we are the most familiar. As time goes on, you can do each position, but in my opinion, missionary is the best way to start

7. Be considerate. Guys, this is directed to you. Appreciate what your woman does for you in bed. If or when the time comes when she is without a doubt committed to giving you her back end for sex, remember these things: you still have to work your way in there; don’t just shove yourself in. Take care of her area because if she tears, you will most likely tear, too. Ladies: take care of yourselves. If you’re in pain or uncomfortable, speak up. Anal sex takes practice and patience. But once you’ve both opened up to its pleasures, it may be one of the most satisfying feelings you’ll ever experience.As our society changed, we’ve become more tolerant of unconventional ideas, such as anal sex. I used to be one of those people who used to think boys wearing earrings was strange, but by the time I was in middle school, it was everywhere and it became normal. As an adult, I thought anal sex was something I could never get into. “Things were made to come out of your butt, not in it!” I thought. But it was thoughts like these that kept me from exploring my sexuality and discovering the joys of anal sex.

If this is your first experience, share your story with us!