Q&A: Is it acceptable for a man to wear a butt plug?

Is it acceptable for a man to wear a butt plug? –  @GeorgeOneill18 via Twitter

Venice’s Response:

The funny thing about butt plugs is no one knows you’re wearing it except to whomever you chose to reveal it. It’s kind of like a dirty secret between you and your lover. Unlike a new pair of heels or a fitted cap, you can’t publicly show a butt plug. There is no purpose to it. So why do I wear it? I wear it to feel sexy, to feel dirty, to know that there’s something between my legs other than my vagina and that if anyone ever found out, it would blow their minds. I wear it to boost my sexual confidence. I put it on secretly in the morning, then text pictures of me wearing it to my husband to tease HIM for the rest of the day.

So, yes, I absolutely think it’s acceptable for a man to wear a butt plug for all the reasons I just stated.

Ryan’s Response: 

Venice answered the question perfectly.  The only person that will ever know you have on a butt plug is people you want to show or tell.  Otherwise, it doesn’t matter.  Now, if you want to talk theoretically on whether or not a man wearing a butt plug would be considered gay, that is a whole other discussion.

Being called gay or considered gay by someone else is simply a label. Everyone likes to label things because it helps them understand it. They are simple minded, and the way a simple mind works, they need labels.  However, that label has no effect on your life unless you let it.  If you do not consider yourself gay or bisexual, then guess what?  You aren’t gay or bisexual, regardless of what others want to label you.  Your ass is your ass. Your body is your body.  Nothing makes you gay except you saying you’re gay.  Even if it’s a man’s finger, a penis, or a one time experiment, you aren’t gay unless you consider yourself gay.   Being gay isn’t a race, or a permanent tattoo that once you try something, no matter how you feel, you are forever gay.  Maybe to simple close minded people, but who cares what they think.

I’ve never used an anal butt plug, because truthfully it just doesn’t feel good to me.  However, the tip of the finger during a blow job feels absolutely amazing.  Having my legs scooped up and being tongue fucked feels even more amazing.  My rim area is highly sensitive and I love the feeling of that area being played with.  It’s my g(guy)-spot.  However, I hate the feeling of that area being penetrated too deep. There is an area, about maybe an inch and half inside, that once penetrated, feels awful to me.  I’ve always had a sensitive prostate, so this is just my preference.  Do I care that I openly enjoy having my ass licked, tongue fucked, or played with by other women?  Nope.   It’s my body I decide what is acceptable.  If some people decide to call me gay because two women tongue fucked me in the ass together, then I will just be gay to them.  And trust me, if I enjoyed wearing a butt plug, I would wear one.

Her Perspective on the Anal Butt Plug

Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan's mating call.

Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan’s mating call.

Original Article:  To me, seeing a pink, rubber anal plug is not as sexy as seeing a stainless steel one with a pink or blue diamond-esque cap. There’s nothing wrong with the pink plug – I have one myself. But when I first saw the shiny, metal anal plug, it looked regal, provoking viewers to draw their own conclusions as to what purpose such a fancy piece of metal served

Besides the aesthetic purpose, I assumed that it can also be served as a placeholder for a near future ass-fucking. The actual circumference of the the stem of the smallest plug is approximately the size of a #2 pencil.  So although it’s not too wide around, it can be used to “semi-stretch” myself in preparation for anal sex.  When I found out there were three sizes, I knew it had to be true. Starting with the smallest size and working your way up, all three were meant to stay put. The spade-shape is meant for your sphincter muscle to grasp around the narrowest point. Trust me, that thing is not coming out no matter how hard you push. I have to pull on it tight and my reflex is to squeeze. So there is no danger of it “accidentally coming out” when you’re walking.

When I put it on in the morning, I use a few drops of lube on the tip and swirl it around a few times before working it into my anus. I relax my muscles as I carefully slide it in until it’s nestled comfortably in my body. I alternate tightening and relaxing times in order to lubricate the stem and maneuver the plug into the perfect position. The first day I wore the smallest plug was quite comfortable. It was the outside that was slightly uncomfortable because when I moved around in my chair, the cap would pinch on my butt cheek skin. The next day I wore the second size and not only was the narrowest part slightly wider in circumference, but the entire plug itself pushed in me deeper too. I knew that I had to spend a little more time in stage 2 than I did in stage 1.  Eventually it got to the point to where I’d be lying in bed and I’d ask him to go ahead and put it in me, like I’d just asked him to turn off the light.

But no matter which size I have in, there was one thing that was guaranteed: Ryan was going to get in my ass that night. Wearing it makes me feel sexy and kinky. I have a dirty little secret that only Ryan and I knew about. It reminds me of our intimacy, our open-mindedness, our love of seeking new experiences together. I never dreamt of doing, let alone enjoying, 95% of the things we do. But we grew as a couple, experiencing so many “firsts” together.  I haven’t had many issues with anal sex, especially when I initiate it.  Sometimes my pussy would get so wet when I’d ride him that I’d use my own juices to slide my ass down onto his dick.  I would lift up, smear my wetness on the outside of my hole, and slip down smoothly onto his cock without one single tear. When Ryan sees the little jewel between my ass cheeks, he knows exactly what’s on my mind.  It’s similar to a mating call and a day-long way to turn him on without touching him.  I would even go as far as saying it’s more of a symbolic representation of my sexuality.  Knowing that the plug is in leaves the option of ass-fucking open.  Sometimes we don’t, even if I’ve been wearing it all day.

I haven’t done any research on others’ experiences, but I have made my own discoveries:

Discovery 1:  It’s hard to dry off after I pee at work.   It gets under the jewelry and is hard to dry.  Being at work isn’t the most convenient place to care for a butt plug.

Discovery 2:  There is no need to wear it the day after you have anal sex.  Why?  Because I’d say most dicks are wider than the jewel and for the next few days my anus will be much looser.  This means, the smaller sizes can possibly come out during different situations (see discovery 3).

Discovery 3:  Although your ass muscles are tight and strong, under some circumstances the plug can get pushed out.  For instance, one day I raced into the bathroom after work  only to find Ryan in there.  With my pants already half down and my body ready to release, I knew I couldn’t make it to another bathroom in our house so I jump in the shower, squatted down, and released (yes, I peed in the shower!).  I believe the force of my muscles holding and suddenly relaxing coupled with the squatting position (maybe helping to spread my cheeks) caused the plug to pop out. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t even realize it until I heard the heavy thud beneath me.  This was with a smaller size and the day after having anal sex.  A lot of different variables.

Discovery 4:   When removing the plug make sure you have a moist wipe ready to clean it.  Your anus isn’t the cleanest area on your body so don’t be grossed out if it’s a bit dirty.

I love wearing my plug.  I don’t feel there are any negative outcomes, physically or otherwise, by using one even for the length of a workday.  My only drawback is the limited colors and styles that are available (unlike tongue piercing barbells).  This may be a good thing because I might amass an extensive collection that could require its own bathroom drawer.

His Perspective On Her Anal Butt Plug Jewelry

plug-002Call this a review or whatever you want to call it, but my experience with the stainless steel butt plug so far has been amazing. Venice received her package in the mail, three separate stainless steel anal plugs, and immediately asked me to put the small one in. Before I knew it, Venice was asleep and in bed for night. I moved my body closer to hers and felt over her ass cheeks. She always sleeps totally nude, so I slid my hands over her pussy lips and ass hole, and felt she was still wearing her jewelry. It must be pretty comfortable.

In the morning she woke up me up in typical fashion, kissing me on my neck and whispering in my ears how much she loves me, licking under my arms, and sucking on my nipples. Before I could open my eyes, I felt her sucking and jacking off my total package. Somehow she managed to grab my balls and penis in one hand and was licking and stroking everything between my legs in one motion. I had never really felt that before, so I opened my eyes and looked down at her, but she didn’t notice because she seemed to be enjoying her new technique as much as me. She’ll probably blog about it.  🙂

As the minutes pass, knowing we both have to be at work soon, I feel her deepthroating me, which tells me she is either done for the morning or lubing up my penis to sit on it. Thankfully, this morning it was the latter. As she sat up on me and grabbed my penis, I felt my dick slide inside her. However, today something felt a bit different. She is Asian so naturally she is very tight, but this morning, I could really feel my dick struggling for room inside her. I begin to move a bit faster because I do not like the competition my dick seems to be in – I want all of her pussy to be mine. No matter how much I stroke, I can feel this bulging feeling on the underside of my penis, almost trying to push me out of my girl’s vagina. I realize pretty quickly it is the butt plug, and instead of fighting for room, I start enjoying the idea of her ass being full of an object while I fuck her pussy. What’s even more amazing to me is this is the very small plug, so I cannot wait to see what it feels like as she moves up in size.

How it looks wearing it during the day.

How it looks wearing it during the day.

As I am fucking Venice, I begin to talk dirty about the idea of DP (double penetration). Not that this would turn me on, as I have no need to ever see or feel my woman get fucked by another man, but the feeling is so intense on my dick, the idea overcomes me. I ask her if she would like to feel her body full of dick, knowing she is pleasing two men at once, or maybe even three men if she is deepthroating as well. Her body, so powerful that she could get three other bodies to orgasm all at the same time. She moans, and answers, she never wants to be with another man, but the idea turns her on so much. Her pussy is soaking wet at this point, I almost can’t feel the anal plug anymore, other than this slight thud on my dick head as I pass by the area it rests at in her anus. She moans that she wishes she had two more of me, so she could please me with every hole at the same time. I moan with her as she begs me to sit up and get behind her so I can see the jewel sticking out of her ass as I pound her pussy. I immediately hop up and begin fucking her doggy style. Now the jewelry is thumping on the other side of my penis, and the harder and faster I move, it seems my penis no longer can hit a “stride.” If I pull out a little too much, like we normally do, her vagina hole immediately closes and my penis slides underneath her body rubbing past her clit. This toy demands room. I pull the toy out and look at her hole immediately tightens back up. I slide my head over her ass and let it slide inside her. She moans, loving the feeling of real flesh inside her ass compared to hard, stainless steel. I notice that her ass is much more loose and easy to penetrate. I love it. I get my dick about a third of the way in before stopping. I enjoy the feeling but notice she tenses up a bit as my dick gets deeper. I lean down and kiss her neck and whisper, “We will finish tonight.”

This isn’t anything new, as our blog Our Morning Ritual explains our morning routine.  We spend time together in the morning to enjoy each other, to live in the moment, to not regret or underappreciate what we mean to each other. The orgasm, although a great feeling, can almost take away from the meaning of our mornings. If our goal is to cum, we may talk dirty, get rough, and cheapen the moment by getting this feeling we are using each other just to get off (some women feel a man only hugs or kisses on her, just to get sex — vice versa). If I am getting oral sex or we are fucking each other, not to orgasm, but to enjoy each other as much as possible without trying or even thinking about cumming, it seems to emotionally attach us much more. We both know we can orgasm together at night, so there is no need or urge to move our intimacy into a desperate sex mode, to get our cums off while we can just in case we do not get the chance in a few more days. We make sure we have our chances, daily. This works for us, although very much off topic.

As Venice got ready for work, we both agreed she should move up to the medium size plug, as it seems like the perfect size for preparation. She also didn’t really get too much pressure from the smaller size. She enjoys anal sex just as much as vaginal, so her anus is used to the pressure. She sent me a message this morning saying the medium size one is definitely more noticeable but makes her feel extremely sexy. It will also make penetration in her ass tonight much easier. However, I am unsure about how her pussy will feel. I am excited to try both. I love the idea of fighting for room inside her. She loves the idea of knowing she loves it in the ass. You don’t wear butt jewelry if the idea of anal sex isn’t something you are totally infatuated with.

As I was about to leave for work, Venice kissed me and asked me to think about this: “A woman with a strapon in one hole and your dick in the other.” I smiled. She devilishly grinned and followed up with, “That is the only DP I ever want.”

Dang.