Q&A: Should I Give My First Boyfriend a Rim Job?

rim jobQ&A:  Should I Give My First Boyfriend a Rim Job?

I have noticed a few blogs you guys have recently posted regarding rim jobs and have a question.  I am a senior in high school and started dating my first boyfriend about 3 months ago.  I feel like I have done everything with him that two people can do, but I haven’t licked his ass.  It seems like this is something girls do to guys now and he has even asked me about it.  But I am unsure if I want to spend my life forever with him, or if I am going to break up before heading off to college. We’ve both already talked about this.  We have different plans for our future.  Do you guys believe there is any long term regrets about eating another person’s ass?  If I find my future husband, will he have issues with the idea that I have licked another man’s ass?  I do understand that anything I have done before him shouldn’t matter, but is there some things a girl should wait until she feels she wants to be with a person for ever to try?  Serious question.  You guys seem to be totally open to rim jobs and that type of thing, but I do understand your perspective comes from a couple that has been married longer than I have been alive. So do you think it’s okay that if I was to give my first boyfriend a rim job?

Nessa’s response to should I give my first boyfriend a rim job

Judging by your hesitance to do this, I have a feeling that you’re not ready to commit yourself to him and that relationship in general. There’s nothing wrong with that, because three months is a such a short time to make that decision. And if you both have different plans for the future, I don’t see a need in giving him more than you’ve already given. Rim jobs are personal, and yes, because you’re not sure if you want to break up with him before heading off to college, I do believe you could regret it. It is special, but also something so intimate and personal that it could come back to haunt you. Save rim jobs for your future husband. He will thank you for it when one day you talk about the things you’ve done with other men (or high school boyfriends) and he wants to bond with you. You will say, “I’ve never licked anyone’s asshole before.”

Fortunately I didn’t go through my teenage years when giving guys rim jobs was a thing.  Porn didn’t show it, it wasn’t something that ever crossed my mind, and the internet wasn’t as popular and raunchy as it is now.  I may be totally out of touch with what is special and extra in a relationship these days.  When I was younger, swallowing a man’s cum was the “oh she done did it now” thing for girls to do. 

The big question was, “Do you spit or swallow?”

Now it’s, “Do you eat ass?”

You can break up with me, block my number, and never tell your next girlfriend about me.  But you can never unlick my ass hole.

 

Ryan’s response to should I give my first boyfriend a rim job

From a sex positive perspective, you should do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.  If you want to give your boyfriend a rim job, try it.  Are there possible repercussions later, maybe.

From a perspective of what I would tell my daughter, or my wife at that age, I’d suggest they wait until they find the person they want to spend their rest of their lives with.  And that’s just me being totally honest.

No matter how open minded your future husband will be, it’s going to be tough dealing with the idea that you have licked 37 other guys asses.

I understand the idea of not judging someone based on their history.  In fact, I hear a lot of couples never talk about the other’s sexual history.  They prefer to be ignorant to that person’s experiences and love them for who they are.  And that’s amazing to me.

That’s just not who I was.  I may be closer to that now, but as a young man, I was stubborn, close minded, and would absolutely have fell out of love based on someone’s sexual history.  Like I said, it was important to me.  As I have aged, I do still believe in transparency.  I also believe in the idea that if two people don’t agree on how they live their lives, they should not live their lives together.  If I met someone who didn’t want to be transparent, we wouldn’t date.  It really is that simple.  It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about having the ability to filter out people you don’t want in your life.  And that other person has the same ability to get rid of you if you are digging too much into their past. 

I believe that knowing a person’s history and accepting it, will better help you understand what type of person they are.  Whether they have cheated, been cheated on, and yes, the sexual conquests they experienced before they met you.  If your history is what made you the person you are today, then share it with me.  I want to know what made you the person you are.  I personally think it is foolish to ignore that history and just accept what you see in front of you.  

But were all not the same.  Some people want to keep experiences to themselves, privately.  Some may post their conquests on anonymous user names on Reddit, but otherwise, keep it to themselves.  No one or nothing will ever break into their experience vault and learn about their past.  Just that person, and the person they had the experience with.  And some couples are happy with this compartmentalization.  

So that’s what you should be asking yourself.  Do you want a man in your future that will want to know everything about you?  Do you want someone you can share all your experiences with and be an open book? Or do you want to have your own experiences that you have, and he has, that you never want to know about?  There is no right answer here.  It’s just the type of person you are, or want to be with.   

The best part of this question is, you are asking the question.  You are putting thought into something, rather than just doing it and regretting it later.