Over the years we have used RSS Feeds and other methods to read random articles regarding Love, Sex, and Relationships. Most of the time we will add our opinions to them, usually agreeing for the most part. After reading the following article, we have decided to add a new idea called “Trash Articles”. Although this is our opinion, a lot of times the internet and blogs are used to create lists simply for click bait purposes and keywords. That’s it. Some of these articles are trash and deserve to be called out.
You feel like a better version of yourself when you’re in a healthy, mature relationship. That doesn’t mean your partner completes you, but they do complement your life in just the right way.
What are some other signs that you’re in the right relationship? Below, marriage experts share seven key differences between a healthy relationship and a toxic one.
1. You’re free to pursue your hobbies and maintain friendships.
Nothing about your core identity should change drastically because of your new relationship status. A mature partner will recognize that pursuing outside interests is necessary and a healthy way to get some air from the relationship, said Kari Carroll, a couples therapist in Portland, Oregon.
“When a partner is too attached to allow you to enjoy something on your own, it can lead to sacrificing one’s own identity to appease the relationship,” she said. “If your partner has fears about you doing things on your own, it could turn into the self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, you may ultimately seek even more space and leave.”
In school books, I’m sure this seems like pretty intelligent stuffs. I mean, you should be able to find your soul mate and still do everything you did without them. Nothing wrong with keeping the same friends either, ex boyfriends, best friends that you had one drunken night with, flings that became friends, or just your toxic single friends that enjoy lady nights (or night out with the fellas) and hanging out. Why wouldn’t you? I mean, who doesn’t want to keep celebrating ladies night right? This isn’t toxic at all.
When you find a life partner it should be your goal to become one person with him/her. Although having your own hobbies isn’t a bad thing, there isn’t anything toxic about two people becoming one and sharing everything together. Sharing hobbies, sharing friends, and keeping a strong circle is the most important part of a relationship. And although the books may suggest otherwise, 20 years of a very good marriage is what matters. I’d argue keeping your hobbies you had while single, the same friendships while single, once you find a partner you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, is the most toxic thing in a relationship. Lack of commitment, wanting to maintain your single lifestyle, yet have the advantages of marriage. Although this can be spun both ways, I am spinning this behavior as selfish. And selfishness in marriages ends up in divorce court. Selfishness with your love and attention, ends up on “Relationship Goal” meme posters.