First of all, Liberator is a local company just a few miles away from us, so let’s just say we may be a bit biased. 🙂
Okay, not really, being bias is for the weak. Nessa and I are strong like bull! However, it is cool to know that the flagship store is near us. Knowing that if this order didn’t turn out right, I could easily storm into the flagship store and flip over tables of anal plugs and penis pumps until I got my satisfaction. “First of all Ms. Liberator Store Manager Person, either you guys need to add a few inches to this Hipster’s height, or you need to make my penis a few inches bigger. No exceptions. I’ll wait over there by the strap ons and ball gags until you decide what you need to do.” Let’s just hope the Hipster is everything we wanted it to be…
So we got this small package in the mail and had no idea what it would be. We hadn’t ordered anything small and the box was the size of computer tower. I opened the box (in the future, if anyone is interested in us recording our box openings, leave a comment and let us know) and saw what appeared to be a cute red velvet material folded nicely, a nice zipped up bag the size of a round couch pillow, and a promotional photo of a woman and her Hipster. Seeing the red velvet and the promotional photo let me know this was the Hipster. My first thought was, “Oh God, this is blow up furniture.” A bit disappointed, I pull the material out of the zipped up bag. It looks like a very durable material. My next thought was, “How long will it take Nessa and I to pop this damn thing.” I saw printed on a small piece of paper, “Vacuum compressed.” Unsure exactly what that meant, I dug my fingers into the plastic and ripped the material out of the bag. And then… I was attacked! As soon as the air hit the inside of the bag, I learned that not only was it not inflatable, it was ready to come out of the package and launch at me. I panicked, thinking the Hipster would get stuck in the plastic as it expanded, I fought back to rip off all the plastic wrapping so it could expand without any problems. It did. In fact, I was blown away by the packaging. The Hipster is huge, sturdy, and I don’t think there is any way Nessa and I could do anything destructive to this thing no matter how rough we got. I grapple/mma on material similar to what is inside the Hipster, and this stuff is durable as hell.
For me, this is a good thing. Because recently Nessa broke a bouncing sex chair (and my penis) a few months ago and it scarred/scared me for life. We just happen to be filming as it happened. Yes, that *.gif is the bouncing sex chair breaking mid bounce. Thankfully my penis made it out of the accident with only a few minor scraps and bruises.
Anyway, I promised myself that if we did more reviews, we would not judge how safe a sex toy is on the environment, how certain rubber will loosen the vagina much more significantly if it’s twice the size of a softer rubber dildo, or how rubbing a sex toy against your body may cause red marks if you do it too hard. We review for fun, for the experience. I’d like to make sure all our reviews talk about our own personal experience with the product and not something we’ve read or researched. I also like to have fun, make jokes, and just be myself. No infomercials allowed. Let’s leave those types of reviews to the sex toys gurus… I just want to fuck Nessa while she bends over this sexy ass red velvet pillow.
With that being said, when Nessa saw the Hipster on the bed, she ran full speed with her jeans on and belly flopped onto the cushion yelling out, “I’m so tirrrrrred.” She grunted when she landed. I turned around and laughed when I saw the position she landed in: ass up / face down. I wanted to rip her jeans off on the spot.
Don’t move, I want a photo!