Usually with our threesome experiences we deal with women we have only known for a short period or only few months. However, we do know a few ladies who we have known since the beginning of our threesome journey, that either played the role of the more experienced mentor or we just had too much distance between us to ever physically connect. In this case, our friend Lexxi, is someone we have have known for a long time, but the distance between us was too great for anything other than her giving Ryan and I advice on our journey. We were always grateful for her input, and of course, we were both attracted to her as a person. Other problems? Oh yea, I forgot to mention she was married and we were also good friends with her husband, who has played a role as Ryan’s mentor and has even been quoted by Ryan in different blogs he has written. So, having a threesome was never really an option.
After months of talking about soft swinging or threesomes, we all got more familiar with one another. Although hard swinging, which is full swapping, was always a hard boundary we were not interested in, soft swinging, where we would open our bedroom to another couple simply to watch them play with each other while we did the same, was something that piqued our curiosity. Honestly, at first, this was our original goal. I do not think it was because we wanted to swing, but we both felt like we were exhibitionists and wanted to share our sexual experiences while another couple watched. I just wanted to see another woman. Through the website, starting with deepthroating videos, we eventually recorded ourselves having sex and submitted these videos to porn websites, which in total, probably got us near a million views. Whether we purposely did it or not, we became soft swingers to every couple that ever watched our videos and knew us personally. They could talk to us, see our sex videos, and in essence, get turned on by what they saw. This was really like new-age soft swinging. However, because of me not wanting to be watched or around another man, the idea of soft swinging eventually faded. I have since blogged about how I felt like I was a lesbian married to Ryan. It’s true, but it’s not true. I like men, and I know that I could only live the rest of my life with a man. However, those areas of my heart and mind are taken. I have no desire to experience another man, no fantasies, and therefore my only focus is on other women. Do I really feel like a lesbian? Absolutely not, but that is the best way I can describe what I feel.