How it first looked.
As a man, is there anything more fulfilling or entertaining than watching you and your partner orgasm? You see, I added the word “you” in that sentence on purpose. Truthfully, my original question was, “Is there anything more entertaining than watching yourself orgasm?” I knew I would get an immediate response of, “Yes, watching my partner orgasm!” So instead, I changed my question to make it less selfish.
However, I still want to talk about watching yourself cum. I can still remember being a teenager and looking down at my young body, skinny with very little hair. For whatever reason, even after puberty, other than my arms and legs, my body wasn’t hairy. It felt so erotic seeing my young smooth skin and youthful hands, holding this huge erect veiny man cock. It’s like my entire body was the absolute image of youth, but my hard penis ready to explode was all man. I remember squeezing my lower shaft as hard as I could and watching my upper shaft and head get huge with the pressure from the blood being pushed inside it. As I felt the build up of an orgasm, right below my balls, in my ass, and around my thighs, I would feel this insane pressure that would instinctively make me squeeze. The longer I squeezed, the more intense it felt. As my body collapsed from the pressure, I released my muscles and watched the head of my penis erupt like a volcano, releasing my body’s fluids all over my hands, stomach, and chest. I remember watching this and thinking, what will a girl think when I pull out and do this all over her? Will it hurt her if I have too much and release it inside her? Will she be grossed out or mad? Will she be excited? Will she want to taste it or feel it? Will she be just as amazed as I am about how it all works?
I still remember my very first orgasm. For whatever reason I would rub my body back and forth over a pillow and feel this extreme pressure in my anus area. I did not have to be erect. As I felt the pressure, I would squeeze my young butt cheeks and hold myself still until the feeling subsided. It felt so good but nothing ever came out of my penis. Of course, looking back, I know what I was feeling now. My body was basically going through all the mechanics of an orgasm but dry heaving because my testicles hadn’t matured.
At about the age 10 or 11, I was in my bed at night moving my body back and forth over a spare pillow, waiting for this feeling to come. As I felt the build up, I squeezed my butt as hard as I could, for as long as I could. When I let go, this time, it wasn’t so dry. I felt as though a small bug crawled through my lower shaft and worked its way to the tip of my head. Because I was smashing my flaccid penis against the pillow, nothing came out. As I sat up, I pinched the tip of my head holding in what I thought was maybe pee or something. When I let the tip go, nothing came out. I still felt something inside, so I slowly start to milk my dick. As I stroked, I noticed the blood rush into my head and my penis looking bigger than normal. I also noticed that this huge clear drop of fluid came out of my penis hole. I immediately pinched it with my thumb and index finger so I could get a closer look. As I brought it closer to my face and opened my fingers, I noticed that it was sticky and made a huge line of fluid that went from one finger to the next. This was my first time ever seeing cum / pre-cum. There was no internet and I had never seen a porn in my life. And although this didn’t happen again for a year or two, this instance saved me from an embarrassing moment a few months later when a few older boys doubted my sexual knowledge and teased me for being a virgin. “I bet you never even came before.” I may have been a virgin, but I had came before. By the way, fuck you guys. I hate bullies.
It wasn’t until I met Nessa, that I shared this moment with another person. For me, it’s special and intimate. Not just the orgasm, but watching closely as my dick releases semen. Watching my gland expand and change colors before it releases. Watching my entire body get goosebumps as I squeeze my ass and straighten my legs before I cum. Watching my balls shrivel up into a walnut-like shell moments before I explode. By sharing, I mean stroking in front of her with the lights on and letting her see the entire process. With Nessa I learned to enjoy myself properly, because before her, I would either rub myself on pillows or just stroke my dick like I was milking a cow. No touching, no rubbing, nothing that would make me feel weird or “gay” like fondling my balls or sticking the tip of my finger in my ass. She opened my eyes to teasing and playing with my asshole, massaging my balls, playing with my nipples, and stroking with both hands. I learned through her reaction that she enjoyed seeing more than me just jacking off, which made me feel more comfortable trying new things. Every man is different, but with a woman open and wanting to see a man explore his body, it’s easier to enjoy the less “manly” rituals.
Now, with our website, the videos and photos, we have shared this moment with others, but we’ve grown past the idea of keeping ourselves locked up in our own little worlds. Some of our photos show things noone has ever seen, except us. This was our first transition after the new us. In fact, when I started this article I wanted to talk about the difference between Nessa watching me orgasm when we first met, to her watching me now, 15 years later, with the new us. I will try to hit on that topic for my next blog, but this was a good introduction.